Callie's Reviews > Mr. Darcy, Vampyre

Mr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange
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Nov 21, 2010

it was ok

Now, before I start, lets all just take a deep breath together, and let out all the negative vibes we have felt from this deeply emotionally traumatizing book. Ready? 1..... 2..... 3..... and BREATH............and EXHALE. Better? Ok, now, to get down to the knitty gritty of this grimly old book. Mr. Darcy Vampyre... what a book. As a certain hydrant-sized friend of mine would say... "WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY DOING TURNING A JANE AUSTEN NOVEL INTO A VAMPIRE LOVE TALE?! THEY DIDN'T EVEN SPELL VAMPIRE RIGHT?!" And to this certain friend, I just would like to say in response, "True dat, yo, true dat to the umpteenth degree of glory." This book is kind of like eating a jalapeno whole, and raw. Seeds in. Need I say more? It is disgusting and makes you want to vomit and die all in one happy little package. No author in their right mind should ever dare take a classic tale like Pride and Prejudice, and turn it into some poorly-written tween novel about vampires. And thats not even the worst of it. The author didn't even have the mental capacity to spell "vampire" correctly. Its like adding insult to injury. People now-a-days don't understand the ever-enduring concept of letting the classics stay classics, and leaving stupid things like vampire romance novels out of the literary mural that is our universe. The ONLY and I mean ONLY reason that this book does not receive a 1-star rating from me is because the front cover is decent. I mean, look at it. The blood spats are well... masterfully splatted. But that has nothing to do with the author. I mean, who would even publish this piece of crap? Somebody at some point had to sit down and read this novel, and then at some fancy board meeting say, "This will sell! Lets publish this! Thats one more thing the world needs! ....yet another vampire love tale." Lets just add this to the stack of useless vampire books that will be forgotten 2 years from now. This goes right into the pile of books-to-be-burned with Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Such garbage. And wasted "talent." This book is destined to be sold at 2nd hand bookstores, Good Will, and DI, because nobody would ever want to keep this book for their own personal library. I have half a mind to brutally annotate this book, ripping it to sad little shreads of mediocrity, and then have it re-published, because I am sure it would be better that way than in its original state. Thank you for your time, and have a goodnight, daisy.
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Reading Faerie Actually it is said that "vampyre" is an old way to spell "vampire". Like "Shoppe" is an old way of spelling "shop". Which is probably why the author chose it. :)


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