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Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
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Quotes Julian Liked

Terry Pratchett
“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
tags: humor

Terry Pratchett
“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'
If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly.
When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit's deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the City of Ankh-Morpork comma serve the public truƒt comma and defend the ƒubjects of his ƒtroke her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majeƒty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket without fear comma favour comma or thought of perƒonal ƒafety semi-colon to purƒue evildoers and protect the innocent comma comma laying down my life if neceƒsary in the cauƒe of said duty comma so help me bracket aforeƒaid deity bracket full stop Gods Save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“That's a nice song,' said young Sam, and Vimes remembered that he was hearing it for the first time.
It's an old soldiers' song,' he said.
Really, sarge? But it's about angels.'
Yes, thought Vimes, and it's amazing what bits those angels cause to rise up as the song progresses. It's a real soldiers' song: sentimental, with dirty bits.
As I recall, they used to sing it after battles,’ he said. 'I've seen old men cry when they sing it,’ he added.
Why? It sounds cheerful.'
They were remembering who they were not singing it with, thought Vimes. You'll learn. I know you will.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes.
"You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly.
"Not where I'm aiming, sir.”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch


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