karen's Reviews > Married With Zombies

Married With Zombies by Jesse Petersen
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Nov 08, 10

bookshelves: for-that-bodice-ripper-group, zombies-r-bitey
Read from October 30 to November 01, 2010

JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO HAVE TO EDIT THIS!! THIS MASCOT COMPETITION IS TURNING INTO SOME MISS AMERICA SCANDAL!! WALBERT IS BACK IN THE RUNNING. HE HAS NO SHOT OF WINNING, BUT LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS!!! LOOOOOOK!! COMPARED TO THE BEE, HE IS THE PMOAT!!!

http://www.goodreads.com/blog/show/24...

as an aside- i really hate that bee, and it would make the site look like one for doofy toddlers, not bookish adults. i can stand to lose to a hedgehog, but that bee has got to go down (LGM)

so but zombies.

this book was much more enjoyable than i had feared. humorous zombie books are tricky to pull off. on the one hand, a creature that only wants to eat your brains is funny. on the other hand- seriously - it really wants to eat your brains. that's not funny.

but i found myself reluctantly charmed by this couple and their struggles to maintain their relationship and not get turned into zombies, all in the same day. thankfully, they had seen some zombie movies (which they were not afraid to reference). the "figuring out" part of zombie movies and books is always a real downer. "what are these creatures?? what do they want???" please. if i go outside today and see someone shuffling down the street, head cocked, moaning a little, i am going to crossbow it in the head. and if it is simply a stroke victim - well, mea culpa. you would have been thanking me if it was a zombie. but when characters waste too much time scratching their heads and wondering "what do we dooooo?", it just frustrates the audience.

this book had good ass-kickery mixed with actual humor (i.e. - humor that made me laugh, not just cheap placeholder humor) and a bonus cult situation. the surprises never felt contrived - there were some genuinely intense moments, and i ended up rooting for the pair to rekindle their love and shoot some corpses in the head. good times.


on halloween, i was read-walking this very book down the street, and i saw the saddest thing: a little princess had rung the doorbell of an old man's house, and he opened the door and bellowed "no trick or treaters!!!" dude! just don't answer the door, no need to be a jerk about it.i kind of wish she had been a zombie, and had eaten him. then i wrote a story in my head where all the trick-or-treaters were zombies and i walked a little more quickly to escape them.

in summary:

bee= bad
this book = good.

also - just for the record - i do not like how this book tore the rbrs apart into two factions. can we come together again for next month, pleeeeeze??
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 96) (96 new)


message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

You will need to read Zombie in Love when it comes out. I love it.

Oh no. No book cover yet! Can a goodreads librarian please help? It is up on Amazon...


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh my gosh. Everything is wrong for that book... The pub date is 08/23/11.


karen my birthday!


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

What a wonderful coincidence.


message 5: by Greg (new)

Greg Vote Vote Vote!


The Bee can not win!!!


karen i fixed it all for you, ariel.

you are lucky i don't like doing homework.


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

You rock my world.


message 8: by David (new)

David I voted for karen out of loyalty.

But I DO really, really love that hedgehog.

And this guy:

http://photo.goodreads.com/photos/128...


message 9: by Joel (last edited Nov 04, 2010 08:10AM) (new)

Joel i also hate that bee (did everyone's mom suddenly join goodreads?).

in fact i am going to change my vote to vote for whatever has the best chance of beating the bee, like when i voted for john kerry.


karen i love the hedgehog, too.i am going to switch to him in the final hour...

just because that bee is the worst.


message 11: by David (last edited Nov 04, 2010 08:37AM) (new)

David After looking through all those entries, I am amazed at how many brain damaged people use this site. Good for them! They're really handicapable.

My favorites from the Corky Division:

This one's clearly Mr. Hanky moonlighting:


This guy scares the crap out of me. He could easily play the Gordon Jump child molester character from the very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes:


Exercising those sensory motor skills! (I don't care if you're four. Keep your fucking day job, retard.)



message 12: by David (last edited Nov 04, 2010 08:40AM) (new)

David RE: the last one. I don't think a green-headed penis penetrating Mariah Carey's cavernous yellow-herpes-infected vagina is appropriate for this site. Take that shit to Shelfari, smut-peddler!


message 13: by Joel (new)

Joel i am also unclear about how a random picture of someone's dog, without even a book in the frame, is somehow an eligible potential mascot. i should have entered the photo of my cat reading ayn rand.


karen the hedgehog is the only one with any class. besides walbert, who is all class, of course.

i hate that bee the way i hate that other person i hate. if this were a learning to read site, for babies, i could see it. but aren't we all mostly adults??


message 15: by David (new)

David I like the Edward Gorey one, of course... but apparently these dumbasses don't realize that you can't just take anybody's artwork and decide you're going to use it any way you want.


karen i'm surprised that one made it through the initial cut, where they weeded out all the copywritten shit.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


karen joel - no!! i get enough of that all day long!!

mfso - yes yes yes!!!


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


karen hm. i tried to make that my profile picture but it is way small...


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


message 23: by Michelle (new)

Michelle MFSO, those are amazing! How did you do that?


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio The bee must be crushed.

[image error]


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Michelle wrote: "MFSO, those are amazing! How did you do that?"

photofunia.com


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

Wow. I hope MFSO is always on my side of the damage.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio While growing up I always loved playing Minister of Propaganda with the neighborhood kids.


karen these really are amazing.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]

[image error]


message 31: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Nov 04, 2010 09:58AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Celebrity Endorsement of Walbert (famous erect nipples sell, people!):

[image error]


message 32: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal Those are some great images, MFSO. Except for that anorexic at the end.


message 33: by Esteban (last edited Nov 04, 2010 10:09AM) (new)

Esteban del Mal What's with that bee? The person who made it has been on here since 2007, has never written a review and has only rated 18 books. So much for the GR Golden Age.


message 34: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Nov 04, 2010 10:11AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Esteban wrote: "Those are some great images, MFSO. Except for that anorexic at the end."

Yeah, she's kinda gross. (I remember when there were ads for that Wanted movie everywhere all I could see were her emaciated arms.) But I figured that the celebritarded teens who seem to like the bee so much would also be dumb enough to be swayed by a celebrity "endorsement."


message 35: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal MyFleshSingsOut wrote: "Esteban wrote: "Those are some great images, MFSO. Except for that anorexic at the end."

Yeah, she's kinda gross. (I remember when there were ads for that Wanted movie everywhere all I could see ..."


Good point. Do a Hello Kitty.


message 36: by Joel (new)

Joel oh i don't think any teens like the bee. in fact, i think you could make a pretty enlightening voter statistics chart cross-referencing number of romance novels read with bee endorsement.


message 37: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal Ready the Twilight endorsement!


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]

[image error]

[image error]


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio [image error]


message 41: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal Now put Walbert in a sex tape with Paris Hilton! We can win this thing!


message 42: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal Very creative, MFSO.


message 43: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Nov 04, 2010 10:29AM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I'm happy to take credit, but again, a shout out to photofunia.com for making all this possible (and pretty easy).


message 44: by Courtney (new)

Courtney VOTE FOR WALBERT BECAUSE HIS MAKER KAREN MAKES GREAT BROWNIES AND REVIEWS!!!!


karen i approve this ad.


karen i can't see the last batch of images, by the way. i just know i will love them if i live through this shift.


message 47: by Courtney (new)

Courtney we all believe in you and Walbert! yay! go go go Karen.


karen we will try to make it more crowd-pleasing.

not that i had anything to do with the book choices, but i want to get the band back together!


karen who is choosing for this month?


karen i wonder if jasmine has gotten her copy yet.


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