mark monday's Reviews > The Children's Bible

The Children's Bible by Joseph A. Grispino
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's review
Sep 18, 2013

liked it
bookshelves: first-loves, mythopoeikon

an enjoyable introduction to the Bible, if you're into that kind of thing. bogs down a bit during the new testament. the vivid, technicolor illustrations are what have stuck with me over the years; i think they are pretty much the visual template for all of my most memorable dreams. for that, i thank you Golden Children's Bible! i still bring this one down from the shelf from time to time, if only to appreciate the cinematic imagery.


so mom and dad bought this one for me. i'm not sure why - when i was growing up, dad was an atheist and mom thought God was a floaty energy type being. but it definitely came from the terrible twosome because young mark monday apparently had to sign the nameplate for them:


i am assuming that "insighned" actually meant "unsigned". must be, right? i'm also sorta disappointed that i neglected to put down an actual date.


and now here is my current Favorite Awesome Review, brought to you by Moe, for this book right here!

I was curious about Adam and Eve and mom said this book has some awesome stories in it. It's not a book I'm going to read all the way through because it is already making me crazy with all the boring stuff. I read about Creation, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark, and the Tower of Babel. These stories can be good but some are sad. I liked the story of the serpent in the garden the best. I thought the story of Babel was sad because all of these people wanted to make it up all the way to god and actually achieve a goal, but god ruined it for everybody. I would like them all working together. So far, the Christian god isn't very nice in these stories. I thought he was nice, but now he's all "You should do everything my way instead of yours."
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Comments (showing 1-27)

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message 27: by K.D. (new)

K.D. Absolutely The Holy Bible, in whatever version, is always fascinating and I am glad that you read and liked this book. I got my introduction to OT via a comic book that my now dead aunt left in our provincial home when I was in elementary school. Now that I am reading the real thing (Revised Standard Version), and need to visualize the scenes, the illustrations from that comic book still get into my mind!

message 26: by karen (new)

karen i have this bible! it is over there!

message 25: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday new york and san francisco have been linked by the power of the Children's Bible!

message 24: by karen (new)

karen mine is not signed, though.

message 23: by Arthur (last edited Sep 18, 2013 08:44PM) (new)

Arthur Graham All I remember about these stories is getting kicked out of Sunday school for hitting on the pastor's daughter.

message 22: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday oh, you.

message 21: by Arthur (last edited Sep 18, 2013 08:53PM) (new)

Arthur Graham It's true -- we weren't welcome after that. I'm sure I was too young to make any kind of proper lewd advance (or perhaps just too young to know any better), but in any case, I'll always associate baby Moses in a basket with super-sexy, ultra-repressed girls a few years my senior.

message 20: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday hmmm.

I will always associate bible study with the second-to-last day of summer bible study. as the bus pulled away, when the girl who had a crush on me all summer yelled out I LOVE YOU MARK! that made me feel great - although I did realize that God didn't actually want the two of us together because I never found her attractive. despite that, I still had such a warm glow after her shout of love that I decided to skip out on the last day so that warm glow would be my memory of summer bible study.

message 19: by karen (new)

karen wow. she probably interpreted your absence differently, you heartbreaker.

message 18: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday eek!

message 17: by karen (new)

karen she is telling this story so differently....

message 16: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday I would like to point out that this is literally the first time that that idea has ever occurred to me and it has been 30 years. oh what monstrous self-absorption!

message 15: by karen (new)

karen tell me all your other stories and i will give you the other-viewpoint.

message 14: by Lisa (new) - rated it 4 stars

Lisa Nerfty! I still have the copy I was given by my parents in 1977. I was 7. It was something I had wanted one for a long time so when I actually got it, I was thrilled. Good times. Now I just want to curl up in bed with it and rock myself to sleep thinking about being a kid again.

message 13: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday watch reality tv instead! at least that's what I'm doing. wait did I just admit that?

julio i had one of these, too. that you scrawled an ex libris on it is charming.

if you need a sycophant, i'll be lusting after you from over there, in the corner, by the tattered remains of your teddy ruxpin.

message 11: by Patrick (new)

Patrick There are so many versions nowadays that you no longer have to read the 2000 year old one. There's a History Channel re-telling of it, a Lego version and hell, I think there's even an anime version

message 10: by mark (new) - rated it 3 stars

mark monday a Lego version!

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

I had that same illustrated bible. :) Your signing the nameplate brought back a long repressed memory. When I was a kid I found my baby book that my mom failed to fill out. I must have looked pretty damn pathetic as a 7-8 year old making up stuff for my own baby book, but I filled that thing with big, block printed lies about how wonderful I was.

message 8: by Whitaker (new)

Whitaker So far, the Christian god isn't very nice in these stories. I thought he was nice, but now he's all "You should do everything my way instead of yours."

Out of the mouths of babes. :-)

mark monday Steve that is an adorable story! you need to substitute "cute" for the word "pathetic" in that sentence.

message 6: by Miriam (new)

Miriam mark wrote: "a Lego version!"

The Brick Testament is fanfuckingtastic! Here's the Tower of Babel (before god ruined things for everybody).

mark monday that is pure awesome

message 4: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Dude's been working on this project for years. I think most of the Bible is now portrayed in Lego.

message 3: by Miriam (new)


mark monday genius

message 1: by Miriam (new)

Miriam It's extra fun if you know your Lego because you can look closely and see the specialty sets like Star Wars getting painted over.

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