Steve Lowe's Reviews > Muscle Memory

Muscle Memory by Steve  Lowe
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's review
Oct 25, 10

(Review from the author)
bookshelves: nbas, bizarro
Read in March, 1978

This book was written with inappropriate love and unsettling affection by the famous actor, former child star, and current inspirational film megasuperstar, Kirk Cameron. He used a pen name, Steve Lowe, so this book would not ruin the pristine reputation he has constructed for himself. Kirk Cameron is lily white and clean, a man all others can look up to and aspire to be. But Steve Lowe is a flawed wretch who smells like off-brand cologne and failure.

Unfortunately, Kirk's pen name has come to life. That would be me. Hi. This isn't some DARK HALF sort of stalking thing where I'm evil and want to kill the real version of Kirk Cameron. Instead, I'm more of a minor annoyance because I lack the capacity for being dishonest. With that in mind, I should tell you that this book has some questionable material in it, especially if you consider that it was written by Kirk Cameron's alter ego. There's talk of boobs and weiners and they even say the F--- word a few times, and (God help us) there's talk of bestiality. You've been given fair warning.

This would get five stars if it wasn't for all the filth-flarn-filth, and if it had a better beginning and ending. Instead, it only rates 2.574 stars, and not one thousandth of a star more. Actually, you should probably just skip it and wait for Growing Pains re-runs to come on the Disney Channel.
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Comments (showing 1-15)




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Kevin Wallis Steve, I really would like to leave a review, but I can't figure out how the f*@% to do it on this site.

Kevin


Michael Your glowing recommendation of this book has caused me to read it, Steve. I hope the filth isn't too much for my fragile irises; they sting whenever I see swear words.


Jasmine bestiality!!!! I'm so excited.


Steve Lowe Michael wrote: "Your glowing recommendation of this book has caused me to read it, Steve. I hope the filth isn't too much for my fragile irises; they sting whenever I see swear words."

I'm expecting a chastising from Bill Cosby any day now.


Steve Lowe Jasmine wrote: "bestiality!!!! I'm so excited."

No sheep were harmed in the writing of this book. And no, it is NOT autobiographical. I swear it's not.


message 10: by Jasmine (last edited Dec 03, 2010 12:10PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jasmine but did the sheep enjoy it?

I understand not autobiographical, wish fulfillment.


Steve Lowe Um... I guess you'd have to ask the sheep. She won't take my calls anymore.


Kelly Maybedog I can only assume you're joking and are imitating the bizarro genre. It's so ridiculous! :) Kirk Cameron, the born-again right-wing religious zealot write this? lol :)


Steve Lowe Nah, Kirk didn't really write this. Look at my picture, I'm MUCH better looking than Kirk. And I've been on the cover of TIGER BEAT more times than him, too.


Jasmine Steve wrote: "I'm MUCH better looking than Kirk. "

Truf


Tiziana Can't wait to get my copy of it!


message 4: by Brad (new) - rated it 1 star

Brad Terryshaw THIS IS ALL LIES! BALD FACED SLANDEROUS LIES! STOP FALLING FOR THIS SMUT PEDDLER'S UNTRUTHS!


Thalan Hicks How Lowe can you go?


message 2: by Brad (new) - rated it 1 star

Brad Terryshaw Apparently, Hades is the ultimate destination, and they're all bound for it in a handbasket.


NumberLord Only three stars? Clearly you didn't read it.
I believe standard protocol here calls for rubber bullets.


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