Caris's Reviews > Bucket of Face

Bucket of Face by Eric Hendrixson
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
1609700
's review
Dec 09, 10

bookshelves: bizarro, 2010
Read from December 07 to 08, 2010

Fruit.

As a vegetarian, I have a strange relationship with fruit. It seems like the perfect food. It almost willingly drops from trees, resulting in the death or harm of nothing. Monkeys eat it. Hell, Eve ate it. Awesome in theory.

But I just don’t like it. There’s something about it that rubs me the wrong way. Occasionally, I’ll get the idea in my head that I’d very much like to eat a nice crisp apple or a perfectly ripe banana. But, even when I find these things at the right time, after one bite I know I’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.

I went through a phase a couple of years ago where I decided I needed to eat more fruit. I was not convinced that my multivitamin was doing anything, so I was taking a handful every day to try to get all of the good things that I felt were avoiding my body to stay in there. But it didn’t seem to work. I choked the bastards down, but I couldn’t feel them in my bloodstream like I knew I would if I consumed the necessary nutrients from actual food sources. So I went to the farmer’s market and bought a fuck ton of fruit. I took it home and set to juicing.

This plan worked well for me until the first sip. It smelled nice. It got my hands all sticky. But it tasted wrong. The vital parts of the fruit are apparently in the pulp that was produced in the juicing process. So I ate a spoonful of that. It was like a mushy multivitamin. Like Jack the Pumpkin King trying to discover the secret of Christmas, I worked with my meager ingredients long into the night.



But, like poor Jack, I just couldn’t get it right.

[image error]

But I’ve come to understand that it wasn’t my fault.

Fruits are fucking jacked up.

Not only do they drink the juice of one another, they form creepy little fruit mafias, making oodles of money in the underground face-trade. There are some more progressive fruits that intermarry with humans (read: fruit sex), but, as a whole, they’re a rather unsavory bunch.

Eric Hendrixson does a lot in this short book. When I started, I decided that forgetting the main characters were literally fruits would be necessary for me to get lost in the story. But, like any bizarro author worth his cliche, Hendrixson makes sure you know, all along, that you’re dealing with the strange. It’s the imposition of the usual turned unusual that is the hallmark of surrealism, and Hendrixson is a master of this skill of unlikely pairing.

The subtext says something about the way we eat. You’ve got fruits drinking fruit juice and eating doughnuts. You’ve got people coexisting with fruits, but still enjoying their inclusion in their doughnuts. You’ve got fruits torturing fruits with the equipment used for making doughnuts. Hendrixson is saying something, but I have no idea what the fuck it is. Perhaps commentary on our schizophrenic eating habits? Or maybe he’s just fucking with me.

Either way, if you’re a Michael Jackson fan, this is the book for you.
31 likes · likeflag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Bucket of Face.
sign in »

Comments (showing 1-21 of 21) (21 new)

dateDown_arrow    newest »

message 1: by Megan (new)

Megan You're so weird, Caris.


Caris Awww. Thanks.


message 3: by Megan (new)

Megan No problem.


message 4: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Have you tried fruit pies?


Caris Like the ones you get at gas stations?


message 6: by Michael (new)

Michael HOW CAN YOU FUCKING NOT LIKE FRUIT? This has me very confused, especially since you're a vegetarian. You prefer vegetables to fruit?


message 7: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Isn't it insane? I once dated a vegetarian who wouldn't eat fruit (except cooked in desserts) or any green vegetables.


message 8: by Caris (last edited Dec 29, 2010 01:05PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Caris Michael wrote: "HOW CAN YOU FUCKING NOT LIKE FRUIT? This has me very confused, especially since you're a vegetarian. You prefer vegetables to fruit?"

I am an advocate for fruit rights who happens to be a vegetarian. It can be confusing, but at least I'm doing my part. Do you eat sheep testicles? Oh wait...bad example...


message 9: by Jasmine (new)

Jasmine I don't like apples unless they are cut up. in fact I eat no fruits whole.

except tomatoes but I forget if those are fruits or vegetables.


message 10: by Michael (new)

Michael Isn't it insane?

Yes, it is patently insane. Fruit is nature's candy. How could someone prefer BROCCOLI, or CELERY, or 99% of other vegetables to fruit?

I understand you're entitled to your position, Caris. I'm just thoroughly convinced that it's insane.

Do you eat sheep testicles? Oh wait...bad example...

I don't anymore, because I'm eating only raw foods now, and raw testicles of any sort have an unpleasant texture.

except tomatoes but I forget if those are fruits or vegetables.

Tomatoes, like platypi, are just strange. There's no making sense of them.


message 11: by Scribble (new)

Scribble Orca description

Fruit rights propaganda training.


message 12: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Kumquats! I love kumquats!


message 13: by Scribble (new)

Scribble Orca Kum-quats?!?!?! Don't let anyone (Brian, Michael, Caris, etc) see that, Miriam.


Caris Michael wrote: "Isn't it insane?

Yes, it is patently insane. Fruit is nature's candy. How could someone prefer BROCCOLI, or CELERY, or 99% of other vegetables to fruit?

I understand you're entitled to your pos..."


Did you start the raw food thing already?


message 15: by Jasmine (new)

Jasmine vegetables are natures candy. peas specifically I believe, but I would have to ask my mommy to be sure.


message 16: by Scribble (new)

Scribble Orca Confuscius says:

Woman who cook cabbage in same pot as peas not sanitary.


message 17: by Jasmine (new)

Jasmine I only eat cabbage raw.


message 18: by Erin (new)

Erin "Like the ones you get in gas stations?"

Best response I have ever read on Goodreads.

PS. Caris, you probably have scurvy. And not in the romantical piratey way.


Caris Not possible. Since writing this review, I took the advice of my adoring public. My gas station fruit pie consumption has nearly tripled. I feel like a I've been given a new lease on life.


message 20: by Deedles (new)

Deedles I have the same problem with fruit. They just don't live up to the hype.


Caris I'm saying.


back to top