Matt's Reviews > Twilight

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
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Jan 15, 08

Recommended for: people who love thomas kincaide and celine dion

there are so many problems with this book that i can't even begin to address them all. but i will say this, 'twilight' is probably one of the worst, if not THE worst, books i've ever read. the writing is amateurish at best [cliches, stereotypes, purple prose--how anyone can applaud meyer's prose is puzzling]; the editing--or lack thereof--is appalling [this is a 200 page novel, no more and probably less]; the grammar and syntax are unforgivably bad; the plot is onion-skin thin; and the characters are uniformly dull and uninspiring.

it's hard to imagine how so many people got suckered into this book. the novel's protagonist, bella swan [really? i mean, really?], is a complete idiot. she has no dreams, no motivations, no ambitions, no hopes, no goals, and not a single original thought of her own. she spends 500 pages spewing endless platitudes and commenting on edwards 'perfect face,' 'amber eyes,' and 'perfectly-muscled chest' ad nauseum [those references number in the HUNDREDS, literally]. she constantly wonders why edward, a 100-year old domineering vampire, wants her. apparently she's the only one who doesn't realize how 'beautiful' she is. too bad, so sad. honestly, this is the kind of novel you'd expect see selling for $1.99 at the supermarket checkout, not winning all sorts of awards. at one point i was half-expecting to close the book and find fabio on the cover. and a glittery vampire? gimme a break.

frankly, i'm mystified at its popularity. if nothing else, i guess it goes to show what clever marketing and stories of wish-fulfillment and so-called 'forbidden love' can do to some women. it's made meyer a multi-millionaire, i'm sure, and turned her publisher into a cash cow. i don't begrudge anyone his or her success, but when it comes via a turd like 'twilight,' it's well, more than a tad saddening.

'twlight' apologists will say that 'at least young women are reading!'i guess you could make that argument, but with that kind of logic you might as well congratulate an anorexic for eating a marshmallow.
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Comments (showing 1-24 of 24) (24 new)

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message 1: by Mishio555 (new)

Mishio555 I love the way you wrote this review it had me laughing like a loon at work. It's perceptive and scathing is the only way I can think of the overall tone of your review but it was just adn deserved even the part of mentioning the cash cow for publishers, the realisim that marketing sometimes sells the book more than content. Thank you for writing this review, it made my heart lighter to read it.


Jennifer I really don't think this book deserves this kind of review. So it's not a literary classic; it was never written with that intention. This was the author's first novel and wasn't even written with the hopes of being published. She just did it for fun, for her own enjoyment. Which is exactly how this book should be read: FOR FUN! Besides, this book’s main audience is teenage girls. Of course the romance is sappy and unrealistic. As for adults who enjoy it, sometimes reading a book is about escapism.


message 3: by Matt (new) - rated it 1 star

Matt hello, jennifer.

thanks for dropping by. ;)

i have no problems with escapism or with reading just for fun. i really don't [i love comic books and i don't think anyone would ever accuse the justice league of america of realism]. i don't even have a problem with being silly, campy, or ridiculous. i enjoy all those things equally--so long as they're well done.

'twilight,' unfortunately [and this is just my opinion], fails on all levels. i didn't find it fun at all, and i don't understand how anyone could. but hey, that's just me.

that you disagree is just great. really. in fact, i applaud you for having the cajones to do it! ;)

m.


Kristen This review made me giggle. And, I agreed with most of it. I have read all three books in this series (although I agree they're not very good, they're somehow strangely addictive to me), and the plot of all of them could have been filtered down to a book the size of Twilight. Without losing ANYTHING. And, yes, the writing is bad. Really, really bad.

However, I do disagree with your last paragraph. I read a lot of schlocky, formulaic and ridiculous books as a kid (the Sweet Valley High/Twins and The Babysitter's Club series immediately spring to mind). I loved to read those books, and when I was done with them I started to move on to other, better written, books. I think that anything that gets people to read and starts a lifelong habit of reading is a good thing. Even if it is the literary equivalent of a marshmallow for an anorexic.

But anyway, I digress. I enjoyed this review. It's funny how the negative reviews are almost always the most amusing.


Kristine I like your review. I think it's quite funny... I agree with what you said though. I also wonder how others could swallow such a book. What bothers me the most, however, is that Twilight is actually compared to books such as Pride & Prejudice and Harry Potter. Honestly, Twilight doesn't even have a right to be used in the same sentence as those books.


Yuh-line thanks for the review. esp. who you'd recommend it to. ^_^ very fitting. I read these books because of my younger siblings, and I can't believe something like that could be published and sold, much less spread across the nation with a movie out and a cult following of millions. only goes to show how sad our education system is and how bad our world must be to find a need for escapism this cheap.


message 7: by Me (new)

Me I think you refuse to see the positive aspects of Twilight and in your review you only focused on the negative things that were your opinion. I guess you'd have to be a teenage girl to understand why so many people like Twilight. And the book isn't really for middle aged men so i can see why you wouldn't enjoy the book, but other than that you were basically just hating and complaining about the book. I agree with jennifer that the book doesn't deserve this kind of review.


message 8: by Fenixbird (new) - added it

Fenixbird SandS Thanks soooo much, Matthew, for sharing this candid review!


message 9: by Matt (new) - rated it 1 star

Matt BEST REVIEW EVER.


message 10: by Groovy (new)

Groovy FABIO! XD XD BEST THING EVER. Couldn't get over the awesomeness of that line. They stress Edward's perfection so much you'd think he was Fabio! XD Loved this review!


message 11: by Raziel (new)

Raziel Lol The last paragraph made me laugh. Not only that, but the comparison of Fabio and Edward. Hahaha xD

Great review. =]


message 12: by Jonny (new)

Jonny WOW LIFE FAIL BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


message 13: by Jonny (new)

Jonny FAIL
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Accalia Riddle YES!!! I love you :)))
This is the best review I have read so far... you nailed it! :))


Accalia Riddle Jennifer wrote: "I really don't think this book deserves this kind of review. So it's not a literary classic; it was never written with that intention. This was the author's first novel and wasn't even written wi..."

Jennifer wrote: "I really don't think this book deserves this kind of review. So it's not a literary classic; it was never written with that intention. This was the author's first novel and wasn't even written wi..."

You think when Jane Austen, Bronte or even Lewis Carroll sat down and said, I am going to write a literary classic.
'Just for fun' should be kept at home and not unleashed at millions of unsuspecting minds.
Don't we want to educate our children? Stimulate their minds?
I guess not, when you give them to read something like that.


Michele Wow...I respect opinions but you sound like a snob.


Katie Mcsweeney I agree with the people who have called it escapism. It is basically a fairy tale. Personally I always liked fairy tales... Twilight is like Cinderella for older girls and boys :)


Natasha i think its the most amazing lovetorn book evr


Natasha youve got to be kidding your insane i love i am osessed have youseen the films O.M.G


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

I partly agree with you on the onion-thin plot. The plot wasn't THAT interesting but i did liked the humor in the book as well as the setting.


Kristin Amen brother!


Giulia Naccarato I knew I was not the only one who thought this book was ugh.. I could not even finish it.


message 23: by Margarethicks (new)

Margarethicks I honestly completely agree. Bella doesn't have anything going for her in her life maybe that's why she's do dependent on Edward. It's a weird love story and she falls in love with something that isn't human. I agree with you that this is a terrible book.


message 24: by Mark (new)

Mark I feel insulted I actually like Celine Dion, but know that Twilight is waste on my person. However having daughters in the age that they like reading these books makes it happen that all books are in my house currently. And the positive about the twilight books is that they did get kids to read and that is a great start from just watching tv and doing games.


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