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The Gormenghast Novels (Gormenghast, #1-3)
by Mervyn Peake, Anthony Burgess , Quentin Crisp
by Mervyn Peake, Anthony Burgess , Quentin Crisp
WARNING: The posts below are purely fictional. They never happened, and were not posted by real people. Any similarities to anyone, including myself, are purely your imagination. Even the posts posted by real people were not posted by real people.
Any similarities between this thread and reality are entirely coincidental. But, that scary picture of the blond guy crying? Oh, that's real. That's so sad, and so real.
Any similarities between this thread and reality are entirely coincidental. But, that scary picture of the blond guy crying? Oh, that's real. That's so sad, and so real.
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 76) (76 new)
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Mervyn
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rated it 5 stars
Sep 28, 2010 01:35pm
Boo.
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It's not a review. You just stuck five stars on it and called it a day. If that's all you're doing, I'm going to say something about it: IT'S THE BEST FANTASY SERIES EVER.
His claim is fallacious. He's obviously never read my series, A Song of Ice and Fire. He's obviously never read Tolkien's series, either. Have you ever heard of The Lord of the Rings, queef? It's--
Zip it. My series is better than that overindulgent pile of masturbatory cinder blocks you call a series. Besides, I have a good excuse for not finishing mine...I went crazy and died. What's your excuse?
I'M WORKING ON IT. IT'S HARD TO WRITE A SERIES WITH NINE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN CHARACTERS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
I would assume the process is simplified drastically by the fact that nine hundred twenty nine of these characters are flat, and seven of the other eight are dead. Am I wrong?
OI! THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE, PEAKE. You wrote a damn good series, and it transcends fantasy literature by simultaneously crafting a world that's unreal, yet making it a world that's unlike any other fantasy universe created. And, nobody has successfully imitated this series yet, even though lots of fantasy readers think it's equal to Tolkien's trilogy. That said.
I'M CHINAL MELVILLE, BITCH. I SEAMLESSLY BLEND SF AND FANTASY, AND I DO IT WITH FULLY FLESHED OUT CHARACTERS. EVENTUALLY I'M GOING TO ESCAPE THE SF/FAN SHELVES WHEN THE STRENGTHS OF MY WRITING ARE RECOGNIZED BY A WIDER PUBLIC. MEANWHILE, YOU'LL STILL BE WALLOWING ON GENRE SHELVES, OLD MAN.
Not to mention, I'M FUCKING HOT! Just ask Ceridwen. Girls want to rub my shiny bald head and play with all the jewelry hanging from my face. You've decomposed. You're dirt.
Well, you're right about your shiny bald head. I DO want to rub it. On some other accounts, I'll have to disagree.
You still have potential, young China, but the last five or six of your novels have suffered from lame, flat, bland characters. Not to mention, as you produce novels at a faster and faster rate, your ideas seem less fully developed and more scattered. While P.S.S. and The Scar could reasonably transcend the SF/Fan shelves, your later ouvre has pushed you firmly back into pulpville, as you indulge in your fetishes for detective fiction and comic book characterizations.
In summary, good sir, EAT A DICK. You ain't on my level. You're like Young MC trying to go up against Jay-Z. Don't get hurt, little boy.
What is happening? And who are you, anyway? Come to think of it, where are we? And what does it all mean?
I don't see what's so funny. Perhaps it's that China Mieville would think he has skills like mine. I'm guessing that his lack of a response means he has conceded defeat.
B1TCH-@$$ B1TCH! Everybody knows who the king of fantasy is. Don't make me give you wedgies, Mervyn. I'll do it.
KICK! KICK! KARATE KICK!P.S. If you're looking for Gene Wolfe, you should probably check my stool. You'll probably find small, meaty chunks of him.
Haha. It's a fact, verified: I am the balls. None can compete with the Gormenghast trilogy. My eccentric, nuanced--
Like 'cause this thread is the best thing I've read all day. That's Peake's Progress for ya. (And Gormenghast are my favorites.)
Dostoevsky can't use html. What a dork.That said, I hate to poop in your punchbowl, folks, but the real China Mieville got very angry at Facebook a few months ago for allowing fake author profiles of him, and I'd hate to see him get angry at us on Goodreads. I don't know what George thinks, and obviously these other folks can't complain, but China is a big strong muscle-y (and handsome) dude, and I'd hate to see him angry.
I’ll let this guy sum things up for me:
LEAVE CHINA ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Jacob wrote: "the real China Mieville got very angry at Facebook a few months ago for allowing fake author profiles of him, and I'd hate to see him get angry at us on Goodreads"Goodreads China! Add a middle name! Save yourself from the real, muscle-y, handsome China!
Dammit, Jacob, every time I fill a bowl with punch, you go and poop in it. Hmmm, I'm pretty startled that, of all the authors in the world, CHINA would be the one to get shitty about fauxfiles. I shall have to do something so I don't have to feel the wrath of the CHINA.
This thread has kept me entertained. Probably mostly because Dostoyevsky was hitting on Ariel. Which, in retrospect, strangely makes sense.Also, that he is having a personal identity crisis. Which also, strangely, makes sense.
I don't know who this "China" is that you people are speaking of. My good friend Chinal, however, would like to say he's glad to have met you all. You can wipe the tears--and some of the mascara--from your eyes, dear Jacob, and come out from underneath that blanket. And put some pants on.
It's a sad day when a warning like that has to be posted. It's like having a warning label on cans of peanuts that say "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS". Oh wait.... I think I'll go get the world checked into a santarium now.
Whitaker wrote: "It's a sad day when a warning like that has to be posted. It's like having a warning label on cans of peanuts that say "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS". Oh wait.... I think I'll go get the world checked..."LO fulking L. MAY CONTAIN NUTS. *crying*
Also, I heard that George R. R. Martin is just as annoyed about fake profiles, but his brother Sneorge R. R. Martin doesn't mind at all.
