Tomas's Reviews > When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin
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Quotes Tomas Liked

George Carlin
“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before the next "horrifying" event. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound "heals" it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, "Let the scarring begin.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the
existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far
more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped
and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the
world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced
military and civilian radar operators.>>”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“What exactly is the free world, anyway? I guess it would depend on what you consider the non-free world. And I can't find a clear definition of that, can you? Where is that? Russia? China? For chrissakes, Russia has a better Mafia than we do now, and China is pirating Lion King DVDs and selling dildos on the Internet. They sound pretty free to me. Here are some more jingoistic variations you need to be on the lookout for; "The greatest nation on Earth; the greatest nation in the history of the world"; and "the most powerful nation on the face of the Earth." That last one is usually thrown in just before we bomb a bunch of brown people. Which is every couple of years.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?


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