Justin's Reviews > Silent Bob Speaks: The Selected Writings

Silent Bob Speaks by Kevin Smith
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Jan 06, 08

Read in January, 2008

I picked this one up because I was mesmerized by Kevin Smith's other book, My Boring-Ass Life . Where that one was a 500-page collection of blog entries and diary scribblings, Silent Bob is a much slimmer collection of "polished" essays that some magazines hired Smith to write at some point. Weirdly they're not nearly as interesting. I think Smith is much better as an off-the-cuff storyteller than he is as an actual writer who puts text down then tries to refine it. This is why his collection of hastily composed blog entries and his DVDs in which he just stands there and answers questions for four hours are both fascinating while his films and this collection of essays are mostly mediocre. His true calling is as a standup comedian in my opinion. The highlights in Silent Bob are an essay about his own morbid obesity and the greasy shits he takes now that he's been prescribed fat-blocking pills (it's strangely fascinating, if disgusting), and... that's about it. I can't think of much else that stuck with me that you wouldn't find discussed in far more detail in Boring-Ass. The lowlights are several, including two starry-eyed, pandering interviews with Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise respectively (his unadulterated love and admiration for Affleck is baffling), a lengthy, rambling jizz-fest on his own movie (the awful Jersey Girl) and how great all the actors are in it (not true outside of George Carlin), and a stupid, vulgar fake essay about how much pornographic sex goes down at comic book conventions. You could get about one of these essays in while taking a dump; they're a good length for that. Otherwise, this one's worthless.
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