It's interesting: I think I read this book several years ago (although it is possible I read THROUGH THE NARROW GATE, her previous memoir, instead). If I DID read this one, clearly I have changed since that time, because this time, it was Armstrong's struggle with faith that hit me hardest, and what I remember last time was being simply mesmerized by her account of life as a nun. Which is horrifying, by the way! When Armstrong talks about life as a nun - and as an ex-nun - and how her formation in the novitiate altered her development forever, I thought about ex-nuns I have known, and of the oddly walled-off quality they often have. That was interesting this time around, too.

But this time, I found myself much more intrigued by Armstrong's complete loss of faith, and her subsequent return, not to religion but to God. Her account of her struggle to begin using her mind freely again - after years of deliberately shutting down every vestige of independent thought - and her learning to dismiss the powerful effects of an authoritarian religion - yeah, all that was fascinating. I am Catholic myself, and though I do not experience my faith in the way Armstrong did, I really did understand at a visceral level what she was talking about - the fear of honest questions, the hesitation to use one's heart, mind or experience in approaching mystery. This can be a difficult book to read, in the sense that Armstrong has suffered a great deal of pain in her life and there is no happy-ever-after for her. But it is an honest and powerful book, and I'm glad I took the time to re-read it.