Denys L.H.'s Reviews > Twilight

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
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's review
Dec 23, 2007

did not like it
Recommended to Denys L.H. by: an idiot
Recommended for: fluffy-loving idiots

When you're looking for a novel that has no plot, no common sense, jibber-jabber about pointless love, how hot someone is, and the climax thrown together three-thirds of the book, Twilight takes the cake! I don't even know what made me "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with it in the first place! But then again, I was a hopeless romantic trying to find love, and I thought Twilight would cheer me up for my lovesick... ness...

Unfortunately, I was WRONG. When I first read the book, I was addicted to it. I finished reading it for one day because it was "so good." Time passed by, and I was hoping that my tasteless friend would give me the second volume of the series because I wanted more... MORE I TELL YA!

As the time passed by, I realized the book was just stupid-fluff and very sexually frustrating.

First off, we meet with the main character, the female "heroine," Isabella Marie Swan. Or Bella for short. I realized now, she's nothing more than a Mary Sue. Her name is even like one as well! Bella is Italian for beautiful. Throw it with Swan. Beautiful Swan. What's even worse is that EVERY guy falls in love with her when she moves in with her lazy ass daddy who needs Bella to cook and clean for him. Typical anti-feminist, no? Her appearance is somewhat similar to the author, and her story when moving into a new place (see twilight FAQ's in her website). Oh yeah, and she gets the guy to top it all off. Typical Mary Sue.

Edward Cullen... is just too HAWT for this world! He's perfect, he's got perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face... hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he even has a perfect penis! D; Anyways, as the typical teenage fangirl I am, I fell in love with him too... I still am... but not as much. What made me head-over-heels for this guy is that he's charming and witty... but being about 100 years old is such a turn off. Not to mention, stalking Bella almost every night... and she doesn't care when she finds this out! That's just a weird/sick/creepy relationship.

What I don't get is the reason for those two loving each other. Stephanie Meyer makes it destined for them to be together... but exaclty what is the reason again...? Oh yeah! Cause Bella has sweet-smelling blood and Edward's HAWT. Duh. That's why they were made for each other! Except for the whole "no sex" thing... well from what I heard, they're gonna do it later on in some other volume of Twilight. It'll be just like another erotic Anita Blake failure.

Who I really hated second to Bella was Jacob Black. He was too annoying and pestered too much. Maybe he'll get better later on... I heard he and Bella hooked up. I had a feeling Bella was gonna do that anyways.

The almost 500 pages Bella narrates about in Twilight is how HAWT Edward is. She's obsessing way too much and then she declares that she would even risk her life to be with him! Dude, you knew him for like, a week. Now you decide to be emo for him? Two words: Get. Help.

All of a sudden, a group of villianous vampires come out of nowhere and terrorize the Cullens and Bella. The whole five chapters of that was a big blur. Was it even five chapters? I don't know anymore! x.x

Do not read this!!!! This is a warning to all bookworms out there! Don't say I never told you so!!!!
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01/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-34 of 34) (34 new)

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message 1: by Bailey (last edited Apr 20, 2008 04:46PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Bailey You seem like a very angry person and i Don't agree with you at all though this is a book you could hate or like it but couldn't think it was in between

Denys L.H. I was angry at the time. Yes, I hate it. I don't give a damn if you agree with me or not.

message 3: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 25, 2009 02:15AM) (new)

Hey, have you read Breaking Dawn??

Denys L.H. Why, yes I have. I'll begin a new rant for that. ;)

message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

I would love to read your review. :)

message 6: by Kristine (last edited Feb 25, 2009 02:19AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Kristine Breaking Dawn sounds like an epic fail at trying to write an erotic fanfiction. I haven't even read it. I just learned about it from my friends who are obsessed over Twilight. I never finished that book either (Twilight). A few pages past Chapter 13 and I realized I was trying not to gag.

Anthea it's TEENAGE literature remember....

Denys L.H. Anthea- Teenage literature can be good too. But it's rare these days...

Brittany Breaking Dawn is actually one of the best books out of the series.

Denys L.H. Brittany wrote: "Breaking Dawn is actually one of the best books out of the series."
What's wrong with you?

Brittany Whats wrong with YOU?Just because you don't like it doesn't mean other people have to hate it to.

message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

that review is SPOT on twilight sucked and that hit ALL of it's bad spots well actually the whole book was a bad spot but thats okay

Brittany Everyone ahs opinions but what is so darn bad about it?

message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Well if you want to know my opinion u should read this review and this review

Brittany But why

message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

but y wat???

Brittany Does it matter? If you don't like it, then you don't like it. If you do then you do. You all act like it is against the law to like it.

message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

no we are just stating our opinions we are saying that this writer is not good in OUR opinion we arn't saying you shouldn't read it or wont like it

message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

well actually i think that people shouldn't read but they dod and they like it

Brittany So for the most part, I am just saying, people like it.

Brittany So for the most part, I am just saying, people like it.

message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

but that is not true i have met millions pof people who hate it its basically half and half

Brittany Ok.Then let's go with that.

message 24: by [deleted user] (new)


Denys L.H. Brittany wrote: "Whats wrong with YOU?Just because you don't like it doesn't mean other people have to hate it to."

Tehee! I apologize, it's just I hear that everyone thinks Breaking Dawn is the worst out of all the Twilight books. xD

message 26: by Rebecca704 (new)

Rebecca704 Omg if you don't like it then don't comment!

Siera Holy moly people!! I HATE Twilight, with a passion, but Brittany is sort of right. If so many of you think Twilight is so mediocre then why are you wasting your time getting in little battles over it?? Doesn't it seem like you're a little bit obsessed with the obsession of proving how much you hate it? Sad.

Denys L.H. Rebecca704- You're not the boss of me. I can do whatever I want.

Siera- I don't think it's mediocre, I think it sucks. And I don't care what you think. :)

message 29: by Kelly (new) - rated it 1 star

Kelly Denys-
First off, your name is brilliant to start with. I love it when names are not spelled "correctly." Whatever the hell correctly in naming means anyways.

Second, loved LOVED your review. It was straight to the point, and imagine this, NO fluff about it! Mwaha!

Denys L.H. Kel- Awww, thank you. My mama named me. xD <3

message 31: by Emma (new) - rated it 4 stars

Emma Haha, no, if you're looking for what you're describing, you read Shiver. Read it, then you can change this review.

message 32: by Anna (new) - rated it 5 stars

Anna Mitchell this is totally wrong

message 33: by Daan (new) - rated it 1 star

Daan I agree with that last point very strongly. SUDDENLY ENEMIES. What? Seriously Suddenly there are enemies. That is just silly bad.

Oh this series, I won't read beyond book one that is certain.

Angel B Thank you for making me laugh! I just finished this for the second time, and I don't see why I loved it the first time.

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