** spoiler alert ** "House" follows a group of people who get stranded overnight in a house full of maniacs, beset by a crazy guy in a metal mask. Only, it's not about that, really. What it's REALLY about is demonising anyone who doesn't conform to authors Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti's set of beliefs and inflicting ridiculous punishments and judgement on people for being simple, flawed human beings.

The story primarily follows Jack and Stephanie, a young couple whose marriage is on the rocks after a tragedy they both blame each other for. In them, Dekker and Peretti might actually have been able to craft a meaningful tale about forgiveness, blame, and love. Instead, it quickly becomes clear that the only one we're meant to sympathise with is Jack, because everything is made out to be Stephanie's fault... even though, in the confines of the story, her only real crime is being weak, human, and unlucky.

It gets worse as one of the female characters who is a staunch atheist is physically and mentally degraded by one of the psychotic family members, and we're just supposed to believe she had it coming. Certainly nobody mourns her passing. Of course, it's hard to feel sorry for her, but that's only because the entire cast of characters, including the so-called heroes, have all the charisma and draw of a brick covered in deadly black mold. It's almost a relief when the hilariously overblown crazy family that lives within the walls "our heroes" take refuge in start knocking them off. At least then we're subjected to less awkward flashbacks and tortured monologues.

It might all be more offensive if the writing here wasn't painfully amateurish, with dialogue and narrative about as natural and riveting as a third-grade school play about the food pyramid, and pacing with all the subtlety of a jackhammer. The only things meant to be scary here are the non-believer antagonists who get killed off in the most ridiculous ways possible. The main "villain" is supposed to be the house itself and the thinly veiled metaphor-that-walks-like-a-man who loiters around outside trying to be cryptic menacing.

I have read Christian fiction before. I have read Christian horror. There have been books in both genres I have actually enjoyed. This is not a book. This is a thinly veiled hate letter aimed at anyone who does not feel the way the author does. But perhaps most disappointing, it's an extremely narrow and cynical look at what makes a person human. Or at least, what the authors believe should make someone human. Now that's a scary thought.