Kat Kennedy's Reviews > The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer
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Jun 23, 10

bookshelves: just-plain-bad, kat-s-book-reviews
Read from June 11 to 24, 2010

We went traveling through the upper end of North Queensland once as a family. We came to one of those strange, small-town, out-of-the-way places for a quick bird study tour with my scientist uncle. The place's claim to fame was that it also housed a giant mango. Yes. You heard me right. A giant, massive replica of a mango. Within the giant mango was an ice cream shop.

Nobody could explain to us why there was a giant mango or why the giant mango has somehow spawned an icecream parlor from its bowels like it was grotesquely pregnant and in the process of some sick, monstrous fruit/shop labor.

Reading Bree Tanner was a little like that.

It was something that didn't make sense, from a series that was much bigger than it should have been and in the end, nobody could properly explain its existence to me.

I asked my Twilight friends why it had been published and their nonchalant, disinterested shrug was almost identical to those crazy North Queenslanders with their giant mango.

Glad I didn't pay money for it. Couldn't be bothered finishing it and at least the freakishly large mango gave me ice cream. This just gave me a headache.

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Reading Progress

06/11/2010 page 1
1.0% "Okay, I've caved and decided to read this shit while it's free." 4 comments
06/14/2010 page 30
17.0% "Boring the shit out of me..." 10 comments

Comments (showing 1-10 of 10) (10 new)

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message 1: by Laura (new)

Laura I'm actually really curious to hear how this novella is... The thing is, I've only read Eclipse once and cannot for the life of me remember a character named Bree!


Kat Kennedy It shouldn't take me too long to finish it, hopefully. I'll post a review then. Bree is the vampire that the Volturi tear apart. Meh.


message 3: by Laura (new)

Laura Kat wrote: "It shouldn't take me too long to finish it, hopefully. I'll post a review then. Bree is the vampire that the Volturi tear apart. Meh."

Yeah... Still not ringing any bells :oP Oh well. Looking forward to reading your review though!


Jasmin funny how you compared bree tanner to a giant mango ice cream store ;)


Kat Kennedy Jillian, you're right. These are all probably reasons why it was written - it just didn't seem like a compelling story idea to me.

Like I said earlier, had it been a story about Marcus' wife, then I feel that would have held a great deal more importance than what this story did.

I'm glad you enjoyed it though, it just wasn't something I could get into.


message 6: by AH (new) - rated it 3 stars

AH OK, so what do a mango and Bree Tanner and Twilight have to do with each other? Love your review! Hated the novella! At least while you're eating your mango ice cream you get a break. Did you notice that there wasn't a single chapter break in 180 pages?

I suspect that this book was written because the role of Bree in the movie will be longer than 1 line and 1 shrill scream. For this, we needed a novella.

If it had been a story about Jane, Leah, any of the Volturis, or better yet Midnight Sun, it might have had the chance to be good.


Kat Kennedy Like I NEED a reason for Bree Tanner and a mango to have anything to do with each other!


Kat Kennedy I haven't reviewed any of the traditional ones because I read them pre GR and I felt that everything had already been said. This one came out after I joined GR so I figured I'd do a brief review.

I've thought about it several times but if I DO review Twilight then I'd truly only be doing it for my own freakish enjoyment AND to garner the votes. Which would make me a true vote whore of epic proportions!


Kat Kennedy Haha! Thanks! I feel very encouraged. Okay, if I think of something unique and interesting to say about Twilight then I will do a review. May have a lot of swearing in it though...


Lyra Meridian This whole review is freaking HIGH-LARRY-ES. Giant fake fruit that barfs out cold colored cream/sugar.. . Awesome.


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