Christine Williams's Reviews > Love the One You're With

Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin
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Jun 09, 10

bookshelves: chick-lit
Recommended for: girls who have their whole wedding planned out before they even have a boyfriend
Read from June 02 to 09, 2010 — I own a copy, read count: 1

I think I was struck by this by the general premise behind the story: Ellen, the protagonist/narrator, runs into her ex-boyfriend 100 days into her marriage and is unable to avoid questioning the past and almost ruining her “perfect” marriage. What it turns into is the question of what love is: is it passion, or commitment, or some combination of both?

My manager loaned me Dream for an Insomniac a while back. It made her think of me because it has Ione Skye in it, the actress from my favorite movie Say Anything. It’s the first movie I’ve honestly loved in a long while, but it’s from the 90s, which doesn’t say much. I really connect to Frankie, the main character, because she’s such a dreamer. I’ve always been a dreamer, preferring to spend time in my own imagination than with actual human beings. She truly believes in fated love, and she makes me want to keep believing too. One of the things she said just struck me so much that I had to write it down.

"Just remember one thing: anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. We have too many mediocre things in life to deal with, and love shouldn’t be one of them.
That’s the thing about Frankie: she refuses to settle. She follows her dreams no matter what, even when other people tell her she’s crazy. I want to be like that: chasing after miracles and making my dreams come true, because I know I can. And she’s right: love should never be mediocre, especially not without good reason."

But then there’s the conclusion that Ellen comes to, which also captures my heart as being incredibly true at the same time, as much as it contradicts Frankie.

"Maybe that’s what it comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

Somehow, I think they’re both right. I think you have to have passion for someone to commit that way, no matter what makes you want to give up and make an easier choice. I think relationships shouldn’t be mediocre: it’s one of the reasons I’m terrified of someday getting married. I love the passionate part of romance, but I also thrill at the kind of commitment that takes old couples to their 50th anniversary. Both of these are pure magic.
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Reading Progress

06/02/2010 page 74
21.64%
06/02/2010 page 74
21.64% "because I have to read a different book when I eat, and I can't eat without reading."
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