Kat Kennedy's Reviews > Dark Prince

Dark Prince by Christine Feehan
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Dec 04, 13

bookshelves: books-that-deserve-painful-death, kat-s-book-reviews, kat-s-rants
Read from May 23 to 24, 2010

Once upon a time there was a young woman with a dream. A dream that women the world over could live in freedom as equals. That they would have the right that many women have been denied for hundreds of years, possibly more - to live healthy, happy lives with partners who love and respect them and provide for their needs.

Then that young woman read Dark Prince - and her dreams were shattered.

Actually, this is all a lie because that young woman, the woman writing this review (yes! It is I!) didn't actually finish this twisted garble of a mess.

Now I know, I KNOW that I'm not always easy going on books. I have a standard (though considering the fact that I have read all ten of the BDB books may convince people otherwise but that aside...) I know I like the writing to be of a certain standard and for there to be characters of a certain quality and a plotline and world that has a certain depth and or immersive quality.

From what I read, this is less a novel and a How To Guide. How To Travel To A Distant Country And Ensure Your Body is Never Found After You Get Abducted, Abused and Killed.

First and simple step:

1. Do everything Raven Whitney does in the first chapter of her book. No, I'm not kidding. That really is her name. Aptly so as she has long, silky raven hair (yes it's referred to as such in this book) which begs the question of what her parents were going to do if she'd been born with red hair. Or if, she had been born with black hair, it had all fallen out three weeks later (as it did with me) and grown back blonde.

2. Romanticize and imagine men like Prince Mikhail Dubrinsky are sexy and possibly good life mates.

They're not.

"But surely, Kat," you say, "you can't have too much to say about a book when you only read twenty-two pages into it."

You'd better believe I do!

The book begins with Mikhail, lonely and contemplating ending his own life. The following excerpt was actually published by the way. I'm not making this shit up for giggles. If I were it would probably be better:

"Grief overwhelmed him, consumed him. He lifted his head and roared out his pain like the wounded animal he was. He could no longer bear to be alone."

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So our female protagonist, who has a psychic ability to connect with people mentally, contacts him to cheer him up.

He contacts back and love blooms.

Okay, sounds alright, right? WRONG! WRONG, SO FREAKIN' WRONG!

Our two protagonists psychically meet on page two. He's sexually assaulting her with his mind by page 8.

But it's okay, because Mikhail is a studly stud. He's an immortal, rich and extremely handsome. Petty things like laws and personal boundaries and respect for women mean nothing to him, and they shouldn't mean anything to you either - this is the message of the book.

By page eleven, she has decided that he is mega creepy and decides to escape. He psychically contacts her to tell her that he knows that she wants to run away and it just isn't going to fly and that he can and will force his will on her.

Now, at this point the correct response would be:

A) Leave.
B) Tell him to go get fucked and that if he so much as comes near you, you will scream bloody murder and have him arrested for assault.
C) Give the psychopath your full name and casually head down to dinner.

I leave you to guess which option our fuckwit heroine chooses.

By page fifteen another man has casually placed his hand on our female protagonist's leg and invited her outside. Correct, normal and balanced reaction from the male would be:

A) Realize that this woman is a perfect stranger and therefor perfectly entitled to receive attention from other men.
B) Decide to stake your claim next time you see her and offer to be her one and only - hoping earnestly that she will choose you.
C) Use your psychic powers to attempt to kill him - stopping only when the female protagonist desperately entreats you to stop.

By page seventeen our chauvinistic-pig and emotionally abusive asshole male protagonist has the female protagonist in his arms and is running through the forest to his home with her.

Raven, being the clever and clearly cautious little monkey that she is asks, "Did you kidnap me or rescue me?"

Oh wait, honey... I think I know the answer to this one! *Kat thinks very, very hard*

She tells him quite clearly on page nineteen that she wants to go home... several times.

His response? "You can not fight me, little one."

This is what he calls her, by the way. I don't know about you but if a man starts to call me 'little one' as opposed to, oh I don't know... MY NAME - then he is going to get one serious round-house kick to the face.

On page twenty, when any normal and sane person would have taken the first opportunity to give him a swift kick to the cajones and run like hell, the dumbest character I have ever come across...no, wait...the dumbest character I have ever come across enters his house of her own free will.

She ignores all of his past behaviour because he somehow understands her. He somehow connects to her. He reaches deep inside her to a place that has never been touched by anyone else before... I'd like to reach deep in and touch her BRAIN because that obviously hasn't been touched before either!

Why is this crap romantic? Why? Why does this spawn a series that sells lots of copies and makes the author lots of money?

The writing is not purple prose. It is beyond purple prose. Purple prose would be EMBARRASSED to be seen with this writing. Everything about it is bad.

If you've seen The Iron Giant (Lord, if you haven't GO WATCH NOW!) then you'll know that in that movie is a giant robot made of iron. Yet this robot has a thousand times more personality and charisma than our much touted and manly Prince Mikhail.

He's a robot. Some kind of space robot given a caveman's brain by an alien species intent to discover if stupidity in the human race is indeed limitless and thus perhaps mined as a kind of fuel for their spaceships. This book was written by these aliens to test us and see how ridiculous we'll go.

However, if they have any success with this method - then I won't entirely argue with their plan because after all, by the laws of supply and demand - it'd be cheaper to fill up my car with stupidity then it would with gas.
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Reading Progress

05/24/2010 page 9
2.01% "Already I can tell that Christine Feehan is going to need to pull something fairly spectacular out of her arse to save this book for me!"

Comments (showing 1-50 of 101) (101 new)

message 1: by Tammy (new) - added it

Tammy Walton Grant LOVE IT!!!!

You've made me want to read this, if for no other reason than so I can leave comments on this page about what a fuckwit the main character is. Great review!

message 2: by Anila (new)

Anila I think something inside of me died just reading the summary of the book. If the first description of your male main is 'a predator', that should be a warning sign.

Kat Kennedy Ryan - The Iron Giant is perhaps the least known yet possibly most brilliant animated cartoon ever. It has to be because Harry Connick Jr is one of the voice actors. Is it your fault that you haven't heard of it? No. I prefer to blame society.

Tammy - Ha! Do so at your own risk! I can not guarantee the survival of your brain cells if you do.

Anila - I know. I really, really know. Something inside me died from reading the first 22 pages of this novel.

message 4: by Aerin (new)

Aerin Wow, this sounds horrendous.

Kat Kennedy It really, really was. I don't think I've ever given up on a book quite so quickly.

message 6: by Michael (new)

Michael Yikes. Yikes yikes yikes.

Is this a popular series? I sincerely hope not. Thanks for taking one for the team and warning us about this one.


Kat Kennedy Thanks Michael, this is a popular series although it boggles my mind as to...why?! There are rave reviews on goodreads and four star average on Amazon, a group here dedicated to them and several, several books in the series.

Yikes is definitely a word to use - though I found myself preferring heavy liquor and less socially acceptable words as I read it.

message 8: by Penny (new)

Penny Nice review. Note to self: do not read Dark Prince (not that I was ever in danger of ever reading it--Christine Feehan wrote it). This book sounds like badly written fan fiction.

I luuurve Iron Giant. My cry-holes start leaking near the end when the robot is about to save the day, and he says: "Su-per Man"

Kat Kennedy Penny, why didn't you warn me? *cries* You could have saved my brain!

I'd never heard anything of Christine Feehan so I didn't realize there was a stigma!

Isn't the Iron Giant lovely? HC jr. is hilarious as well!

As for badly written fanfiction - yes, that is exactly what it is.

message 10: by Bark's Book Nonsense (last edited May 27, 2010 07:04AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Bark's Book Nonsense Awesome, I contrary reviews are so much fun and yours was so well stated. I'm often very critical (and probably too sarcastic) in some of mine and it's nice to meet a kindred soul :) The overly dramatic books are often the most fun to review, even if one only gets through the first 20 pages. This guy sounds like a headcase, I will have to read it soon.

On a sidenote if you watch American Idol you would have been in hysterics last night. Simon Cowell said to Paula Abdul "I really missed you little one." after she spent about 10 minutes sitting in his lap like an overgrown child. They may be this couple come to life.

Kat Kennedy Oh my goodness - am I sarcastic and critical?! No! It's not possible! I couldn't be! How on...

*Kat laughs*

Ah! I can't go on, it's too funny for me. Yes, sometimes it's fun just to tear the stupid books apart piece by pathetic piece and mock it for what it is.

I'm so glad there's someone else out there who understands that.

No! I didn't see but I probably would have been in hysterics and my poor husband would have been very confused!

Angela I have read Dark Prince, and while I did read a bit on in the series, I stopped after noticing it was the SAME thing over and over...

I actually am commenting because I Love The IRON GIANT (the robot's voice is Vin Diesel...how awesome is that??) such a great movie :-)

Kat Kennedy Such a fantastic movie! It never got the acclaim it deserved.

Nicole I started reading this book last week, but gave up after page 67. You took the words out of my mouth.

message 15: by Sydney (new) - added it

Sydney I wish I had read your review before I read this book. It would have saved me some pain...

But your review was hilarious

message 16: by Cat (new)

Cat S Kat, one of the funniest reviews I have ever read!

message 17: by Victoria (new)

Victoria Wow! I laughed the whole way through your review! Do you mind if I email it to my friends? They'll get a kick out of it, too! Have you considered writing a book of your own, complete with your awesome sarcasm and biting wit? I'd definitely read it! LOL
That reference to The Iron Giant had me rolling on the floor! I'll be laughing the rest of the day!

Kat Kennedy Thank you! Yes, you may email my review so long as it is properly attributed to me. I have written a book that is in the editing process before being submitted to publishers.

Alas, it really isn't that funny! Which is quite disappointing...

message 19: by Red (new) - added it

Red Lace I absolutely love your rants!

Patrícia THIS! I had the same reaction... and I didn't finish this either. My head was starting to hurt because I rolled my eyes so much... :P LOL.

message 21: by Ashley (new)

Ashley I was thinking of reading this series but now I won't even bother. The series sounds horrible but your review was great. Very entertaining.

message 22: by Patricia (new) - added it

Patricia I fall in love with you because of this review. Bwahaha, reading it again. Too good to be true.

Christina I wish I would have quit 22 pages in but I kept hoping things would get better and managed to finish half. I have NEVER left a book unfinished and I even read the shit-storm that was City of Bones, implied incest and all...

EowynRN The iron giant is awesome, (how do you get teary for a cartoon giant) so that's not a great comparison. You could say that this book is even worse than watching "Valentine's day" on repeat for 24 hours straight.

Maiqst I completely agree with you. i was a massive effort to go beyond the first few pages, so I stopped reading.

message 26: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki Love this review! You said what I tried to say, but ever so much better.

message 27: by Kate (new)

Kate Brilliant, I made it to page 70 before reading this and deciding to give up, luckily I was just lent the entire series instead of buying them!

Jewels ♥ My Devastating Reads Hysterical review! I thought much the same at times but I finished the book... Guess I was hoping to understand it by reading it through till the end.

message 29: by Lumi (new) - rated it 1 star

Lumi This review is perfect.

message 30: by Vanya D. (new)

Vanya D. This review is hilarious! I am never going to read this series LOL

message 31: by Rene (new) - rated it 3 stars

Rene honestly I have read all the books in the series and they are not as bad as this review says.. This is her first book... try reading one later in the series.. each book gets more into their history and problems they face to survive.. OH JUST A QUESTION... DID YOU FORGET THIS IS PARANORMAL FANTACY NOT REALITY???? if you don't want to buy the book because of someone else's opinion then get it from the library.... but form your own opinion don't just rely on someone else's as you may like it where someone else may not.. i couldn't read the full review as it really irritated me.. I have read other books where the "hero's" r worse than what she currently describes the hero in this book.. At least the men is this series have a respect for women and treat them as treasure and not as property or worse... if you had read the book for your selves you may have gotten more out it then what is said in this review.. The only thing i agree with is that it should have had more background about Raven and Mikhail and the Carpathians... But again if you want something closer to reality THEN DON'T READ A FANTASY NOVEL!!!!!!

Kat Kennedy Or you could go write your own review, Renee, instead of commenting on other people's. That is usually more polite on Goodreads.

message 33: by Tasha C (new)

Tasha C Hahaha just reading the summary.of the book i was like uuuh no thanks. then i read your review and its so funny i kind of want to read it now so i can laugh. but after the first few pages, i doubt my patience would hold out much longer than that

message 34: by Missy (new) - added it

Missy LaRae I love the Iron Giant it remains one of my most favorite animated movies ever. Hogarth!!!

Dave scene is the end where the giant closes his eyes & says You Choose.... Cry every damn time.

message 35: by Rene (new) - rated it 3 stars

Rene Your right Kat and I am sorry.. i am new to Goodreads and I will take your advice do that in the future.. we are all entitled to our opinions and I am sorry if I was mean or offended is anyway..

Kat Kennedy It's alright Rene. It's okay to politely state why you don't agree with a review - but just be careful or you'll get people upset if they think you're being rude.

Fawnycurly AGREED! Couldnt even pretend to finish the book.

Kenya Wright LMAO! Purple Prose would be embarassed to be seen with this writing! Stop that right now Kat!!

Would you just get your own late night book review show, I'd tune in!!

You're lucky you didn't finish.

I finished the whole book and had diarreha for the rest of the week.... coincidence? I don't think so!

Jewels ♥ My Devastating Reads Loved your review! This book is not good. I really like Feehan (try her GhostWalker series, much better) but this particular series doesn't speak to me.

message 40: by Dana (new) - added it

Dana oh god, I almost downloaded this book on a recommendation, I am so glad I read the reviews first, honey, your review was better than some of the books I have read....

message 41: by Jorge (new) - rated it 1 star

Jorge I must say I read the whole book a bit out of stubbornness (or whatever) and only after I finished it did I read your review.
You read only 22 pages you say, but I can tell you after reading the whole thing, you got it all perfectly right!!!

message 42: by Tanika (new)

Tanika I love this review. That was exactly what I was thinking after starting to read the book.

Too bad you didn't read any more, you missed the part where every other page there was a new sex scene...
I think I stopped at page 40....

message 43: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Great Review...Too Funny

message 44: by Wsb (new) - added it

Wsb Awesome review, cracked me up. I just started the book (I’m at the part where Raven is kidnapped/rescued) and I’m just thinking that her reactions to Mikhail’s actions are not normal.
Wondering if anyone bothered to go any further in the series. I am a huge paranormal romance fan and I have been looking forward to starting on Christine Feehan’s books. Is this a situation where the first book sucked but the writer got better as the series continued? I mean she has what 22 books in the series now? I’m thinking they had to get better at some point. Anyone?

message 45: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki Wsb wrote: "Awesome review, cracked me up. I just started the book (I’m at the part where Raven is kidnapped/rescued) and I’m just thinking that her reactions to Mikhail’s actions are not normal.
Wondering i..."

Nope, sorry. Different names, different locations, same inanities - and some are actually WORSE! For a real thrill, try Dark Gold. The "heroine" is unbelievably stupid. Oh, wait - they ALL are.

Laura Oh my gosh. I am thinking the EXACT SAME THINGS as I am (attempting to) read this book.

message 47: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Contilli gould LMAO! Your review was better than the book!! Thank you for making me cry laughing!!

message 48: by Codie (new) - rated it 1 star

Codie This review is spot-on!
I'm glad you mentioned the BDB, since I've read them all as well. The author likes to make up names that make my eyes roll so hard they nearly pop right out of my head, and there are grammatical errors everywhere, but her characters are interesting and I like her concept of another species. (Holy long sentence!)
I'm a bit saddened by the drivel that is Feehan's series. If I can't make it through one book, I most definitely won't be reading the series, and I was looking forward to a new, long series.

message 49: by Selma (new) - rated it 1 star

Selma Best rewiev EVER! I hated this book from depth of my soul! I just want to burn all of the books in these series! I read two more books in this serie just so I would see if anything was going to change... Nopp, the kidnapping, asault and rape continues (how these male characters lead women in to bed felt like bloody rape). They also trash about Turks and how they killed and raped unlike these dark princess that are heros! Plz plz what a load of crap! I have thrown away these books and want refund. I can not believe that there are people out there liking this!

message 50: by Maggie (new)

Maggie Amazing review! So glad I read this first before buying the book. Thank you for saving me $5!

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