This book really rubbed me the wrong way. First off, the author is a business administration professor and through life experience, felt he could writ...moreThis book really rubbed me the wrong way. First off, the author is a business administration professor and through life experience, felt he could write a book on dating advice for women. I've been through a TON of stuff relationship-wise including abuse of all kinds and more heartbreak than most people do. I've seen very close friends go through awful pain and anguish. That does not mean that I am qualified to write a book on it, even if I do speak to "over a dozen female advisors."
One thing that really bothered me was at the end of a small section in his introductory chapter. It says, "If you want to find a man, something's got to give. First, you have to get real with your requirements." I hate that. No woman should have to settle for less than she wants. Now yes, if she wants a man with brown eyes and won't give the green-eyed hunk of burnin' love the time of day she needs to reevaluate. The author does not make this clear, though. He makes you feel like you're being too fussy. You're not. I'm not. I ask for a lot in Mr. Right, but I deserve it. There are fundamental things he and I have to have in common or it will never work no matter how much love is there. Believe me, I've tried.
He also mentions improving your looks, namely losing weight. I've been asked to read other dating books and this is the first one that spells out, "lose weight." That bothered me too. Why can't a woman be loved for who she is? If a man approaches you only because of how you look, you don't want him. Maybe this was mentioned because the author was male, but still. It's not worth mentioning in a book like this. Any woman who needs to lose weight, I'm sure, is very very aware of it and is either doing what she can or loving herself for who she is regardless. Heck, many women out there who feel they should lose weight don't need to. The media has created a mold that society seems to think is the only way to look. I know some very large women who have amazing marriages and amazing lives. I also know some drop-dead gorgeous women who have never been in serious relationships.
The dating game is made out to be a game. There's almost a checklist in here for how to find the right man, and it's written in such a matter-of-fact way. It's like sitting in a circle at a slumber party and asking your group of friends what to do to catch that man. It's just not professional. He also quotes a lot of people. He says it's because he wants to reinforce his points, but I think it's almost because he can't enforce them on his own. I was always taught to not use many quotes in my writings because it turns my work into a compilation of the works of everyone else. It steals your credibility and gives it to those who already have it.
Finally, the author says this. "Sometimes the problem isn't with the man though. It can be with women too." First off, that passage is grammatically incorrect. Second of all, this begins the blame game (which is not necessary. Obviously the reader is reading because she wants to know what to do. She does not need to be told she's doing something wrong. She needs to be given good advice.) Thirdly, it's so casual. The author does not establish any credibility by speaking so casually.
I could keep going on, but I'll stop here. I think everyone gets my point. This book and I are not a perfect match.
In the end, I think I have a hard time with this book because I have a completely different belief system than the author. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You should not have to change yourself or your standards to find him. He'll be right for you because you're right for him. You don't have to work to make him love you. I believe that you have to become the person you want to be with and you have to love yourself. Put yourself in places where the kind of man you want to be with will be and then just believe that whatever happens happens for a reason.
I can't recommend a book I so strongly disagree with. I can't give a raving review either. Like I said, the author was very nice and I think he has a genuine desire to do good. I also think he might not be qualified to give such advice, though, and it shows in his writing. To me, it felt like reading a letter from a dad addressed to his daughter. It would mean a lot to get something like this from a caring father, but not from a stranger who got tired of teaching his business class. (less)
I won this as a Goodreads first read and am currently waiting for it to arrive in the mail.
Ok, the book is here and I've started it! Looks interestin...moreI won this as a Goodreads first read and am currently waiting for it to arrive in the mail.
Ok, the book is here and I've started it! Looks interesting!
I love this book! It's so interesting and really puts things into perspective. I'm the kind of person who loves to have the facts laid out in front of them, and that's what this book does.
Each chapter delves into a specific LDS belief, explains it, and backs it up with verses from The Bible. You can read it straight through or in sections if one subject interests you more. I can see it being used in Sunday School lessons or for family home evening. It cross-references and helps you decipher what each verse means as well. I love the organization and the explanation. It's the kind of book that can enrich your knowledge of your own religion and also aide investigators in understanding the beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Definitely a keeper! (less)
I have a really hard time with sad books. I'm such a tender heart that I really can't handle them very well. lol...moreI won this as a First Reads book! Yay!
I have a really hard time with sad books. I'm such a tender heart that I really can't handle them very well. lol. The descriptions of how children were treated in concentration camps was particularly heartbreaking.
However... The female character is very strong and it's interesting to read how she dealt with the trials she was faced.
Overall, the book was not what I expected, but it was worth the read because I did learn a lot. (less)
I started reading this, and decided that it wasn't really my cup of tea, so I gave it to my dad. He's an oceanog...moreI won this as a Goodreads first read.
I started reading this, and decided that it wasn't really my cup of tea, so I gave it to my dad. He's an oceanographer, and is always ready and willing to read books about waves and all that cool ocean stuff. Here's what he thought.
I would not recommend this book to anyone. The author was very disjointed and lacking in continuity. It was like she sat down with a pad of paper and made an unorganized list of everything she wanted to talk about, and then wrote her book in that order. She was jumping around from situation to situation, location to location. I couldn't keep up with her. She also repeated herself a lot, so I had a hard time knowing where she was.
Her facts were accurate, but to the average person who had not studied oceanography, I'm not sure they would understand. Sometimes her use of the science itself made no sense.
I would have enjoyed more imagery and detail. I wished she had described her experiences in the water in more detail. I wanted to know how she felt, and how she reacted. This was written like a play-by-play with no emotion or connection to the reader.
I only finished it because I was intrigued, and I love the science.
Decked with Holly is darling, and just what I needed. There was not a huge emphasis on Christmas, so you could actually read it any time during the ye...moreDecked with Holly is darling, and just what I needed. There was not a huge emphasis on Christmas, so you could actually read it any time during the year. Maybe even on a cruise! It was a light, adorable little romance that I really, really loved.