For most of this book I was cruising along at the "it's okay" status. However, this book got exponentially more interesting after a plot twist that coFor most of this book I was cruising along at the "it's okay" status. However, this book got exponentially more interesting after a plot twist that comes late in the story. It makes me want to read it over again to see what I missed when I, like Winter, wasn't looking for it. I look forward to seeing where the second book will take our vicarious heroine. ...more
While I enjoyed reading the perspective of a woman who flip-flopped her position on sexuality after her conversion to Christianity, this book read morWhile I enjoyed reading the perspective of a woman who flip-flopped her position on sexuality after her conversion to Christianity, this book read more like a memoir than the trove of practical advice I was hoping to find. I appreciate the author's transparency with her own struggles, but in some ways the constant stories of her own past made it hard for me to translate them into practical usage for my life today. While there are definitely some valuable gems tucked within these pages, this book was not what I was hoping for overall. ...more
I would love to give this book a better review because it did make some very valid points and offered some practical advice... which I seem to have foI would love to give this book a better review because it did make some very valid points and offered some practical advice... which I seem to have forgotten while seething over a few other points.
First of all, I don't believe that anyone who believes marriage is the end goal has any business doing "ministry" to singles, so that kind of put me off from the start. But here are three additional reasons I believe this book is more harmful than helpful:
1) Platonic friendships. Contrary the the authors' belief, they do exist. And even in the event that one friend has pondered the completely natural "I wonder" question that all singles consider when engaging with someone of the opposite sex, friendship still happens. And that's okay. Friendship is a valid, necessary thing. A spouse is not the only companion you will need in life. It is not harmful for men to seek female companionship without necessarily seeking a wife. (Also, authors are not allowed to flip-flop positions by telling me first that my guy friends are undoubtedly in love with me and then say that I am in danger of becoming "just one of the guys" and therefore unlovable to the entire male species.)
2) I am not "deterred from marriage by selfish delusions of freedom" nor do I posses "an idolatrous desire for success or money or fame," and I certainly do not have "an inability to love." Perhaps I am merely deterred by the fact that I have not yet found someone whom I feel that I could serve God better with than without. Perhaps my desires are for kingdom things and I have thus far found no one who shares my heartbeat. Perhaps marriage is not the only lifestyle that is pleasing to God.
3) While I also find the phrase "Singleness is a gift" exhausting at times, I am not so delusional as to say it is not a gift except to those very few who will remain unmarried (supposedly by choice?) all their lives. The authors state that singleness is not a gift, but a trial. This is ludicrous as it is the equivalent of saying life is not a gift, but a trial. Life is often a trial, but it is also a gift, and for those of us who are single for this season, singleness is life. It is a long, difficult, often joyless path, but it is life and life is a gift.
I know this book was written about dating and therefore meant for people who are looking to take that step, but I hate the huge push on marriage like it is the holiest of all the callings. Marriage is a huge commitment that many singles feel pressured to rush into. These authors are some of the people applying the pressure. ...more
In all my years immersed in church culture, I have never heard anyone validate the wilderness experience the way Jane Rubietta does in Grace Points. AIn all my years immersed in church culture, I have never heard anyone validate the wilderness experience the way Jane Rubietta does in Grace Points. After the struggles I have been through these last two years--after striving and seeking and still not finding my way out of the woods--I needed this book to tell me that none of this time has been wasted. That God is still at work. That I am still experiencing growth in this time of dormancy.
Highly recommended to anyone who has been traversing through the wilderness for "too long."...more
I wanted to like this book, especially after I realized it was written by a fellow Christian. Finally, a book written by a thirty-something still singI wanted to like this book, especially after I realized it was written by a fellow Christian. Finally, a book written by a thirty-something still single woman. Maybe this would e a breath of fresh air after reading all the books written by married women who are looking for excuses to tell their love story to the remaining single women like me. (I was single and my life sucked, but I got married and so can you!)
I held in my hands the antidote to such soliloquies. But I feel like Mandy overcompensated. (I'm single and it's fabulous!) Which it is. Most days. However, I wanted to see more of a balance and maybe something that felt a little more real and raw. This book is filled with little cliches and far too much rhyming.
If you're looking for something encouraging and upbeat, this is the book for you. If you're looking for something a little more honest, I'm still searching for it too....more
I really did try to give this book the fairest shot that I could given my belief that praying for your future husband means focusing on your future huI really did try to give this book the fairest shot that I could given my belief that praying for your future husband means focusing on your future husband means being even more discontent when you're twenty-five years old and he's still taking his sweet old time finding you. However, I don't think this book was written for 25-year-olds, which makes it hard for me to review at this point in my life.
I am 100% not a romantic, so the parts of this book that were supposed to summon the swoons and sighs were lost on me. Do I hope my future husband is praying for me?Honestly, I don't. While I sure could use it, I'll leave that job to my mama. I hope the man I will one day marry is living his life and focused on what God has called him to for this season.
Call me jaded if you will, but this book seems very idealistic. I guess I don't think that way anymore. ...more
"What if the only reason you're alone is you just haven't met your partner yet?"
In a world that is quick to ask what is wrong with you, Sara Eckel is"What if the only reason you're alone is you just haven't met your partner yet?"
In a world that is quick to ask what is wrong with you, Sara Eckel is the voice of reason. For once, we are presented with a book by a married woman who is not just looking to tell us her love story "because seriously, I just met a dude, that's it."
This book is far from a chipper pep talk; it reads more like a motivational tape without all the cheese. Sara's writing style is down to earth and chock full of practical advice and reminders. Such as:
"If you feel sad sometimes, it's not because you're single--it's because you're alive."
"Do things for their own sake, not as a means of polishing your life resume or reassuring yourself or the world of your worthiness. You're already worthy. There's nothing to prove."
"When you're experiencing that year-in, year-out challenge of being on your own, it's really easy to ask the question 'What does everyone else know that I don't?' I suggest you flip that around."
Seriously, as a woman who is perpetually single and oh so tired of being interrogated about it by everyone I meet, I cannot recommend this book enough. This book is that friend who lets you be completely honest and 100% unapologetic for it, and then tells you you're a beautiful human being who is worthy of love, and somehow comes off as believable.
Read it, if only to assure yourself It's Not You, and there are hundreds of other women who have walked (are currently walking?) in your lonely shoes. ...more