I am a serial ranter. Let's make that perfectly clear. If something pisses me off, I bitch about it. As such, I am angry. No, that's not good enough.I am a serial ranter. Let's make that perfectly clear. If something pisses me off, I bitch about it. As such, I am angry. No, that's not good enough. I am seething, bloodthirsty, and ready to kill. Why? Well let's just say that today's literature has gone to hell in a handbasket.
I have recently read book one of fifty million of the House of Night series. I really wish I could undo the damage that was done to my brain cells, but I fear that it is too late. I have lost the ability to do more complex arithmetic and my vocabulary has suffered. Ugh. I shall miss you, my precious gray matter!
Zoey, the "heroine" of this abhorous story (if it can even be called that), is a judgmental, selfish, vapid, egotistical Mary Sue who is on a mad quest for power. She is the only fledging vampyre in history that has an affinity for all five elements, and her mark is already colored in even though she has not completed the change. So fucking what? Is this supposed to make me like her? If so, the Cast duo has a lot to learn about charaterization.
Allow me to elaborate. They try to make Zoey sound like a typical modern teenager. *facepalm* No! Bad PC Cast! Recruiting your college aged daughter does not a "modern voice" make, neither does tasteless name and brand dropping. This series will be sadly outdated within 5 years guaranteed.
Being trapped in Zoey's head was the worst type of torture. I felt like my brain was being thrust into an Iron Maiden, and somehow it miraculously survived, but it is still riddled with holes. My intelligence seep through the wounds... Back to topic. Zoey's voice was (I'm putting this extremely mildly) annoying at best and making me suicidal at worst. She is so judgmental. If someone doesn't like or approve of her, they are villanized and banished forever from Zoeyworld. The whole "I is the most speshul person EVA so you must all love me" bullshit makes me want to vomit.
Her "friends" are all Zoey-worshipping robots with the personalities of drying paint. Stevie Rae is an Okie bumpkin. Nothing else. "The Twins" Shaunee and Erin are just mindless gossips who share a brain. No more depth. And Damien, the homosexual (I usually adore the gay characters) is just gay and we have to be reminded of it every time he speaks. We get it, he's gay. Cool. What else? They don't ever disagree with Zoey, even if she is mean to them. She can yell at them like an immature toddler all she wants, but it is an unforgivable transgression if they defy her. The love interest, Erik (is that his name?) is just eye candy for Zoey to steal from Aphrodite.
Oh! I haven't mentioned Aphrodite yet. I actually liked her. She was the only one who did not worship Zoey or fucked the ground she walks on, so of course she's the villain. She is also uniquely gifted with a goddess given gift. She sees the future. But since she does not inform Neferet of her visions, she abuses her powers. Well, if you saw grisly visions of death Ms. Redbird, would you want to relive them? Zoey characterizes her as a slut, and a "hateful hag". In fact even if a girl has kissed a boy, she is a slut in Zoey's eyes. I feel very bad for Aphrodite. She gets knocked off her pedestal as leader of the Dark Daughters, and is stripped of her title of High Priestess in training by an immature moron.
The blow job fiasco in the alcove pisses me off as well. Like beyond words angry. If a boy gets raped, it's no big deal. He's the one using the girl. What the fuck? If the roles were reversed, the whole attitude towards the scene would have been different. This was pathetic and downright offensive.
In short, I hate this book. I hate the authors as writers, and as people. They need to serve time in a penitentiary for their crime against the natural order they committed by publishing this rubbish. I am done now. I shall go listen to "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" in memory of my fallen brain cells. Goodbye and have a pleasant day....more