Just another example of brainwashing in the name of God.
Ever since we visited Salt Lake City and saw the Mormon temple, I wanted to know about the peoJust another example of brainwashing in the name of God.
Ever since we visited Salt Lake City and saw the Mormon temple, I wanted to know about the people who still practiced polygamy. They don't in the conventional Mormon religion, however, the author of this book was born into an extremist sect that not only practices polygamy, but marries children off to 80 year old men.
The author was forced to get married to a "Forrest Gump" type without the sincerity and sweetness. He bullied her as a child and then raped her as a "so called" husband. Not to mention that he was her FIRST cousin. She begged and begged not to be married, but was forced.
This woman survived and got out as did most of her family. Her mother stayed on with 2 remaining children. Her mother a curious character... faithful to this cult above all us. The Dad, another curious one, kept 1 foot in the community and 1 foot out.
Extremist in any form suppresses others and causes undo hurt. I understand how children born into these situations can grow to be adult believers. They never know anything else... no television, no reading books other than religious... just an isolated lonely existence.
She tells her story as a survivor, who wants to move on with life, but knows this existence will always be a memory. Her whole childhood, stuck in that situation.
This book was on the nonfiction display at the library and published this year. I have been doing research on bullyingI read the book, not the audio.
This book was on the nonfiction display at the library and published this year. I have been doing research on bullying to help me in the classroom and with my own daughter and found it interesting. She wrote a memoir before this that I want to go get now. I found a lot of useful things in this book that I will be able to mill over and utilize to help children.
Bullied throughout middle and high school, Blanco gained her insights through personal experience and reflection. This is written in a narrative form resulting in it reading like a second memoir. The most helpful information comes toward the end of the book. She makes honest assertions and sprinkles her feelings in the book creating a novel feel.
I love how Blanco looks back into her history to expand her workshops and seminars and really figure out how to help others help children. In addition, she comes up with labels to help understand and clarify what is really going on. Being a mom, an educator, but most of all a child that experienced bullying often, I know Blanco remains accurate on her description of what is going on and how schools fail to deal with the problem.
At the same time, sometimes she comes across condescending toward some of the very same teachers who listen to and appreciate her message. Almost like she shouting "dah" to them for not knowing how to help these bullied children. Also, I do not agree with her perceptions of NCLB and teachers unions.
Despite those few dissension, there such valuable info in her into the social lives of bullies and the bullied and some practical advice for those that love them that I think anyone that works with children would benefit by reading it. ...more
Unlike the author, I really believe ADHD, etc exists and I have seen first hand that some children need medicine just as they would for any serious coUnlike the author, I really believe ADHD, etc exists and I have seen first hand that some children need medicine just as they would for any serious condition or to maintain their health like with Diabetes, etc. Children need to be able to focus and learn and I have met a few that could not do that without their necessary medication.
However, I do agree that it is extremely over diagnosed and misdiagnosed. I think 90% of the children taking stimulants don't need them.
With NCLB and the high stakes test craze as well as the emphasis on paper pencil activities, it is a shame children are not allowed to be children. Teachers need to provide appropriate learning activities for children and stop labeling them all "misbehaving." The gov't needs to read the research and let the teachers teach to best practices instead of to the tests.
Given the known side-effects of these drugs, we need to be sure before we "experiment" with our children. There are other solutions besides popping pills....more
Wow! I know the few extremely wealthy American's take advantage of the system, but I did not know how much. This book reveals a lot even for a cynic lWow! I know the few extremely wealthy American's take advantage of the system, but I did not know how much. This book reveals a lot even for a cynic like me. Check out the information on Obama's friend Warren Buffett.
Anyway, it still appalls me how people turn their noses down on a mom getting food stamps while they seem to have no interest or dismay in the wealthfare in this country.
The wealthy use all the infrastructure in this country, take advantage of every loophole and then get downright dishonest in the perks they get for their lobbying.
It's also very interesting the connections this book makes to how these wealthy ripoffs threaten our national security and our whole way of life.
We are just starting to see it with this economy, but so much is covered up. Still a lot of people won't open their eyes.
Our public spaces, parks, military, schools, etc keep being turned over to these private individuals and companies in the name of capitalism, when many of these are just crooks looking to rip off the public and eat their free lunch.
The stockmarket really does undermine the fundamental principles of capitalism. It's not about the customer, but about the stockholders. It's a real pThe stockmarket really does undermine the fundamental principles of capitalism. It's not about the customer, but about the stockholders. It's a real problem and this example with Disney only highlights that. ...more
**spoiler alert** Rex Walls hated slot machines. He stated they relied too much on luck. He preferred a good poker game to show his skills.
However, p**spoiler alert** Rex Walls hated slot machines. He stated they relied too much on luck. He preferred a good poker game to show his skills.
However, poker seemed to be the only place he used his skills. He relied mostly on luck in his life and with his family.
He did do a lot of bluffing like a poker game though. He showed up drunk night after night with crazy stories of conspiracies and embellished his role as father. He always asked his children, "Have I ever let you down?" Broken promises and letting them down occurred often.
Mom's behavior proved just as neglectful. While her children fished in the garbage for other children's lunches and ate the last stick of margarine in the house, she refused to work, stole the only can of corn, and sneaked giant sized Hershey bars to eat. She seemed an extremely contradictory woman believed it was okay to shoplift, but made her children return bags of clothes their teachers gave them. She wouldn't hurt flies and felt sorry for a giant rat who startled her baby girl. Yet, she harbored no qualms about throwing a bag full of meowing kittens in a river, because 'we gave them some time on earth.'
Rex remarked to his daughter once, that you don't have to play the cards you are dealt, you can bluff your way through and end up successful. He meant this in regard to poker, but it seemed Jeannette, her brother, and one of her sisters did just that. They did not have to accept the life dealt to them. They always knew they possessed the intelligence and resourcefulness necessary to create another life.
I enjoyed the book. Jeanette portrayed her family as a fun loving dysfunctional family like the Simpsons; a drunk dad yelling out in church disputing Mary's virginity, an enabling mother, a fun loving brother, and a cute baby sister, etc.
However, the details and realities amounted to something much more disturbing. (children exposed to repeated sexual inappropriateness, catching on fire at age 3 cooking hot dogs on the stove, etc)
Although, most of the children (one sister snapped and stabbed mom) found success and happiness, they will never forget those disturbing memories. They will never forget the happy ones either, fighting demons with dad, painting with mom, road trip adventures, naming stars and owning them, even petting cheetahs etc.
I think most resilient children would agree. The disturbing memories are easy to deal with. It's the happy memories that jumble every thing up and don't make sense. How can parents so reckless and neglectful do some things that seem so wonderful? Brian's, the brother was right, they could have put food on the table if they wanted to, they didn't. Meshing the good memories with the awful ones and making sense of it all really never happens. I still haven't figured out how to do that from my own childhood. I think writing this probably helped Jeanette do that on some level. ...more
Toxic parents explores a whole lot more than parents who physically abuse. It's amazing the guilt trips parents give on us and the role parents can coToxic parents explores a whole lot more than parents who physically abuse. It's amazing the guilt trips parents give on us and the role parents can continue to play that pollutes their adult children's lives and dilutes their accomplishments. The book stresses we need to let go of the experiences from childhood that the toxic parents have instilled and not blame bad parenting for all of our failures. However, we must first realize our parents were toxic, before we can move on. ...more
This book is great! As a teacher, I am using it to help design a unit for the beginning of the year and throughout the year to help the children realiThis book is great! As a teacher, I am using it to help design a unit for the beginning of the year and throughout the year to help the children realize, there's more ways to be smart than just the reading and math way that school demands of them. It focuses on Gardner's 8 intelligences. The thing I like too is that it frames intelligence in our areas of strength, but also states that if you are not as smart in another way, it gives suggestions to help you improve your intelligence in that area. This idea of all of the intelligences being different, but equal and the notion that one can "get smarter" in other areas will be helpful to children. If we all realized this, we would value each other a lot more. My daughter read this book on her own and told me she really liked it. It is suppose to be a children's book, but really for strong readers in older elementary school, ideal for junior high school. Adults may find it really interesting too. ...more
I read this book and my daughter also read it. We talked about what girl's say and do. Sometimes girls can really be cruel and she has experienced somI read this book and my daughter also read it. We talked about what girl's say and do. Sometimes girls can really be cruel and she has experienced some of that. Often it is a mutual thing though. They are not friends with each other one day and the next day they are. One girl interviewed in the book said that to ask a girl if she hasn't been teased by other girls is basically to ask her if she has been with other girls. Yes, girls seem so much more 'backbiting' than boys as I notice from working with children as well as having a girlie girl myself. But... hey we grow up to be women. However, the book doesn't go into detail about how powerful a close female friend can be. Yes, girls/woman can gossip and judge, but they can also provide support and loyalty. Overall, the book had some interesting parts. ...more
I read the version that had an educator's guide. A lot could be done with this book. I try to speak positively to people and fill there buckets and itI read the version that had an educator's guide. A lot could be done with this book. I try to speak positively to people and fill there buckets and it seems I build better relationships now.
Some people are harder than others to find some things to say to fill their buckets. There buckets seem to be knocked over.
**spoiler alert** John Elder's mother taught him that to make friends with dogs, he needed to pet the dog softly and pat it's head. It worked. SO when**spoiler alert** John Elder's mother taught him that to make friends with dogs, he needed to pet the dog softly and pat it's head. It worked. SO when he wanted to make friends with a girl at school he walked up to her and patted her head petting it softly. This social approach did not work for the girl!
John Elder refuses to look his parents or teachers in the eye. John Elder struggles to make friends. John Elder does not understand social protocol. John Elder obsesses about trucks and porsches. John Elder remains VERY uncomfortable with change. John Elder takes everything said very literally. People think John Elder shows the wrong emotions at the wrong time. What is wrong with this little boy, John Elder?
The answer is clearly, nothing. Nothing is wrong with him! He has Asperger's. John explains that Asperger's isn't a disorder. It's just a way of being. Asperger's, on one end of the autism spectrum affects children who are average or above average intelligence. In John's case he is above average in the areas of math, or when it involves the workings of electronics, and automobiles.
He talked about his loneliness and his immense desire to make friends. He explained his intricate way of thinking and how socially inept his thinking proved. "The worst of it was, my teachers and most other people saw my behavior as bad when I was actually trying to be kind."
Since I work with children, the first few chapters about his life as a young child intrigued me. Feeling rejected by people, he turns to machines, because machines never reject him. From his childhood truck, "Chippy" to his magnificent talent taking apart appliances and putting them back together in better working order and design, he finds machines very easy to understand.
As his life goes on, he does figure some things out and experiences a lot of success, despite the fact that his mom goes crazy and his father acquires an alcohol problem. He begins to realize the difference between trying to make friends with a young child, as opposed to a young puppy. He even realizes why some people don't understand his responses to his questions and perfects his ability to hold conversations with other children.
His life continues and he experiences what I consider a wild ride in adult life mixed with success, failures, strange events, and disappointments, --you know what all of us has. Until he settles down, to what others would see as normalcy.
He never quite understands why he seems so different. Until he turns 40 and a psychiatrist friend alerts him to Asperger's. He wishes he would have known at an earlier age, but remains happy to finally know, there are other people who think like him....more
What an amazing portrayal of her life! I do have to say she is way more passionate about live stock than the rest of us. However, I wish I could invenWhat an amazing portrayal of her life! I do have to say she is way more passionate about live stock than the rest of us. However, I wish I could invent and view blueprints in my head. How can Aspergers be labeled a disorder? It really amounts to a different way of behaving and living due to a different and in my view, far superior way of thinking. Grandin of course remains lucky that she had the support system of her well financed parents to give her the kind of education she needed. She still struggled, but no one gave up hope. Now, she offers a unique outlook into these thinkers and learners. She doesn't need the multimedia, the video games; her mind proves virtual enough.
I really wish I could see what she sees.
When will we learn to start valuing each other as the unique beings we exist as and stop judging and qualifying gifts we view as disorders? ...more