Pacing: Imagine you see someone tiptoeing toward you from ten miles away in a desert. You see them coming but you now they are taking their time....moreSigh.
Pacing: Imagine you see someone tiptoeing toward you from ten miles away in a desert. You see them coming but you now they are taking their time. Seven hours later, they arrive in front of you. They raise their hand and WHAP! You get slapped in the face and the weirdo just trudges away. The pacing is like that. Slow with an explosive ending that’s rather strange and oddly ironic.
First Sentence: Movie people were used to being up to the crack of dawn.
Plot: Love Me started off with a bang. Okay more like the first page started with a BANG, after some cool noir descriptions that would leave you panting for more , it slowed to a stop.
In the first chapter, we ooze walk through the long scene of Gabby Preston and her domineering mother Viola speaking with Amanda Farraday at a boring charming old fashion house.The girls chatter over dresses, some trivial, predictive backstabbing occurs. The cast goes to the studio and everyone magically has lovers faster than a chia pet can grow its hair.
The plot is not defined, just women in Hollywood trying to get to the top.
Characters and their Antics: We meet the same three aspiring actresses from the previous novel that stole the show but this time they are as charming as a six foot snail in heels.
Gabby Preston pops pills and drinks in between dodging her scheming mother Viola who wants to keep her forever. Farraday goes pining after annoying nice Henry, they love and break apart.
Margo Sterling is a whiny and Diana is so hard to like. Okay everyone was hard to like. They were idiots, the whole cast behaved like a warped soap opera acted like I personally backhanded their brains on my grandmother's nice rug.
Gameplaying wishy washy Henry is a NO I hated him. He was a mosquito I wanted to crush with my fist. He was a mother obsessed cliche who suddenly stole too much of the book without much of the plot. None of the characters are loveable and I think it's because they didn't have much to do , almost like they were tossed in a room and someone said.
"FIGURE IT OUT."
Characters howled, screamed, sobbed , howled , drank in pain, collapsed in a melodramatic fits.
Content: Hahaha, this book is proof pretty girls and men need hobbies. They smoke and drink. There is the drug and rumors escort content.
Despite the huge disappointment, the narration kept me interested enough to want to read three. I may check it out.This book lacked the mystery and the tension of the first. We read for the mystery and the danger because it was thrilling! We imagined stuff, we thought of murders and missing people. But in Love Me fell flat. I do support the author and will buy the third. (less)
Moral Lines: Because Who Doesn't Love a Juicy Prostitute Escort Novel?
First Sentence:My husband had this little patch of soft, slightly reddish hair...moreMoral Lines: Because Who Doesn't Love a Juicy Prostitute Escort Novel?
First Sentence:My husband had this little patch of soft, slightly reddish hair right above his tailbone.
Excuse me while pictures of wolf man dance in my head.
At first I was thinking, tail bone. Where the heck is that? Then I realized where it was and I literally wanted to throw up. Tail bone, was this guy the second picture on the evolution chart? After picturing the Caveman Geico insurance man in my bed I read on.Okay, guys I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I was to review this copy. My mind danced from vampires, to urban romance because of the black, white and red cover. In Moral Lines by Vanessa Bogenholm we are given the pleasure of meeting Alexandria , the women who tried Botox to keep her husband and misses hr husband. We are suddenly invited to join her downward freaky spiral of god knows what. It slapped me in the face like a glove to the cheek, one day this women wakes up one day and is like damn, I am an escort.
The question is, how did she get there!
Who is the Main Character? Alexandria is witty, sarcastic caterer and bold recent divorcee who had the whole "god, my life sucks, I know it, I hate it. Now shut up and let me complain" thing going on. But do not worry my friends she is not complaining in the whole stupid unique "I am Bella Swan. My life reeks like hell , woe is I" sort of way. Alexandria is sarcastic character who has lived in Beverly Hills but never rarely fit in or afford it.
Plots Galore: In the book we meet the horrible husband of Alexandria and experience the cold rejection that leaves her and you shattered. We feel her pain and her destructive. Ever had a husband , girlfriend or boyfriend lose interest in you? Then you can relate to this book. Bogenholm has nailed the turmoil that shoots through your mind when being rejected by a mate.It's so clear and crackling with emotion like popcorn over a hot stove.
I almost teared up.
This story is like the demise to rebound story, a recent divorcee women suddenly in need of money starts doing tasks to pay small things like her rent. We watch Alexandria fall and we watch her rise while being offered the most ravishing erotic lovemaking scenes that can make any gal melt. Those scenes are delish I must tell you! Let me stop drooling! Alexandria goes deeper and deeper into the escort world and she begins to do things that may be against her morals or so she thinks. You will find yourself living through her and clapping through the novel.
Settings: Hotels, apartments, Beverly Hills , Hallways. Oh yes and beds , what girl does not love that! We meet lots of beds in this novel.
Who Will You Meet? All types of men.
DISCLAIMER: I am a huge historical fiction fan but Alexandria's voice was so freaking compelling, I was reading this narrative like candy.
Content: Cursing, lots of descriptive sex. Drinking and smoking. This is an adult novel and a darn fun one. So get out your wine and start to read Moral Lines.
The ending was abrupt and rushed and confusing to say the least bit. She just changed her ways, I wish it wasn't that easy. The ending was abrupt and confusing and I got lost. George's character was random and not threaded through the story so he threw me off a bit. If you love escorts and alter egos you will love this novel. This is no literary novel, just a quick read if you aren't looking for substance.(less)
There comes a time in ones life when they stumble across a book with a obnoxious obvious title (and cover). .
Examples, Series of Unfortunate Events by Mr. Lemony Snicket was a very series of unfortunate events. Why? Simple. The Baudilaire Orphans were very unfortunate. I, Funny does the same exact thing except for one GLARING error.
"This book is not funny," said my elementary age sister slamming the creepy orange book shut.
JP (James Patterson) is either a hit or miss. I once was in the legion of JP "sheeple" now I am not. This is because The Kiss # 4 and I, Funny have came onto the market. I, Funny, ow is a book with a title I, Funny not funny you may be asking? Or not. Lol.
Let's get to the review of I , funny.
Narration: First person narrative. A boy is rambling through the novel and a book that is to chatty to be legal. It's stuffed with "yeahs" and "I knows". A guy is on stage yakking through the whole story. There is no story, just him talking about his life.
Jokes Wise: There are no jokes in this books. I watched my sister very closely and didn't see a hint of a smile on her face. So I am guessing it was not hilarious at all.
You will endure jokes like this: blockquote>Do zombies eat doughnuts with their fingers. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? What do Mallards wear at a wedding?
Which will be hilarious if you like jokes badder than motorcycle gang (or that poorly slammed together analogy." I think younger kids, kids younger than nine will enjoy this book.
Summary: A boy is on a mission to win the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Book.
My sister says: So this guy is on stage just rambling. I wondered when the story was going to begin. It was kinda' like he was screaming the whole time.
Protagonists: Jamie Grimm (coolest name ever). He is in a wheelchair but did that stop him. No IT DIDN'T! Jamie Grimm is pursuing his dreams , one joke at a time.
My sister thinks: he was really boring and not funny. I liked the drawings but he had the same expression on every page."
YOU KNOW WHAT! I AGREE.
Age Group: Lol, I am so bad with children's ages. Maybe like seven and nine year olds even though this was in the YA fiction area because let's face it, no one over that age is going to like this unless they love face bubble pop fiction that shoots faster than a lighting botb after four cans of soda.
Content: No violence and no cursing. No mafia kills or gory. There will be no ax hurling at unsuspecting victims or creepy girls at the end of the hall that climb out of television sets.
Maybe this book killed it's comedy value by claiming I , Funny on the title. Maybe it led me to expect more. All I know is that I did not enjoy myself and neither did my sister from the book I originally purchased it for.
What is the conclusion?: "I Funny, is not funny." Backed up by my little sister.
In Hollywood, everything is a production. Even your life.
Your life is yours no longer. You belong to Olympus....moreShe came a fan girl. She left a star....
In Hollywood, everything is a production. Even your life.
Your life is yours no longer. You belong to Olympus. You heart belongs to Olympus. So does your mind, your body and your soul. You are part of a machine for a company, you sell dreams but hide nightmares.
Every once in a while when I am wowed by a book. I abandon my format and just free type. so on to my review.
The magic of Hollywood begins.... Boom!!! You are Gabby Preston the girl with the stage mother whose been waiting for her break forever. She does movies, even had a few of her own but still no one sees her. Think of this, you are an innocent arrival Margaret Forbisher (the new Margo Sterling)whose been discovered at Schawbs ditching school in bright lipstick. You'd give up everything for Hollywood but will you give up your family. Then you are a sexy redheaded Amanda Farraday slinking into view. You have all you want, but you really want one thing. No one knows your past but they all think they do. They don't know your secrets but they believe they know them like the back of your own hand. You will be bombarded with questions.Who is Olive watching over them all? And what exactly are these favors?
And mostly worst of all, where is the beautiful missing actress Diana Chesterfield who went out in a cloud of flames?
And is the Pasadena society girl with the estranged parents taking her place?
Scenes to die for:
....But she had never imagined Mrs. Frobisher would raise her hand and strike Margaret so hard across the face the girl went reeling. She hadn't thought she would see Margret Forbisher in a crumpled heap on the floor, sobbing blood slowly seeped into her golden hair.
No, Evelyn hadn't expected it at all.I did the right thing, she thought as she felt hot tears course silently down her burning cheeks.The right thing , the right thing, the right thing....
This novel Starstruck, is a beautifully crafted novel about three girls with dark pasts and dark presents all shrouded well but the beautiful glowy glamour of old Hollywood. Dane Forest and mentions of Jimmy Molloy Clark Gable and Betty Davis. Reading this you will realize everything in Hollywood is a fake, every single part is staged. The kisses, the boyfriends (go figure), the outings (go figure), even the clothing they wear to the cars the studio rents them. Lose the studio, you lose your life.
Sure, this novel has been done before a thousand different ways, maybe a million different pens but this book, despite that truly manages to dazzle in the YA crowd of Dystopians and steam punk. I spent two days savoring this book and when I finished I wasn't one bit depressed. We've got a cast of characters. Abortions, homosexuality and drinking make up a big part of this novel. The style is deliciously round, like Valley of the Dolls (I read but.....Not as amazing as this novel) with a real editor and James M. Cain foreshadowing her every move. This novel is about the dreams and the nightmares of the City of Angels. This will wow the 18+ crowd as well. She's got it,Shukert.
She's got the history of the studios and the talk down pat. If you watch old movies you will find yourself bouncing up and down and clapping ,"YES! YES! YES! You did it!"
She did do it.
She manged to take Old Hollywood and wrap it into a story in the palm of her hand...
Like magic. So all in allIf there is a second, I will be in line with my face pressed against the glass waiting for it to be unvieled. (less)
I think I've found my new lover.It's about yay high. Dark purple with 500 something pages... Yes.... It's the Diviners. I waited so long to read this....moreI think I've found my new lover.It's about yay high. Dark purple with 500 something pages... Yes.... It's the Diviners. I waited so long to read this. So I thought it was a spin on the paranormal romance like The Eternal Ones. So I passed it up. WTF I apparently had no idea what I was missing. Do you want me to tell you. I missed out on Evie. Yes Evie.
Evie: Protagonists, a kick butt of a main character. A glittery flapperish girl, age seventeen with a way of words that could slice you and half. She talks like a gangsters moll and she's from Ohio.Her vernacular is a little amusing, expect lots of slang. She's selfish, stubborn and is downright funny. She has quirks too, hanging her scarf and cloche hat on the wall, calling her Uncle....Unc which reminds me of the sound you make when you just ate a corndog at the fair and you are in the restroom wondering WHY? WHY? WHY? did I try the frog leg.
Summary: Evie is tossed from Ohio after using her powers at a party.She can grasp secrets from any object she can hold. After revealing a scandal in a drunken cry for attention. Suddenly the girl is the black sheep and no one wants to be her pal. Now her father's job is on the line. Evie is sent to live with her Uncle who runs The Museum of Creepy Crawlies studying occult. Then a series of murders occur and Evie's secret can help her uncle and the museum group find out the killer. Will she tell everyone she can help out or will she watch the innocent die on the glittery streets of NYC?
"POV": The novel hops from an African American named Memphis who resides in Harlem and lives with his mother and brother who are dealing with strange occurrences. Than we've got Theta, the girl with seal black hair and a mean dancer, and endearing. We've got silent blonde Jericho, tall and sexy but incredibly dull .....or so they say. We've crash into Mabel with the union parents who won't cut her hair for the life of it. And something is coming.Something dark. Something evil. At the middle of the novel, all the characters lives collide. It may get preachy or sort of Fitzergald at the last few pages but it's all right.
Antagonists: Jericho , Sam, Unc and Evie are trying to find out who the killer is. Her Uncle takes it into his hands and they find the killer is someone who practices occult and who is here to warn darkness is on the horizon. Only, he's the one bringing it.The three piece together the puzzles, staying up late at night and rolling up their sleeves. In this book, there will be stars chalked on the ground, long nights drinking coffee , dressing up in disguises, writing on chalk boards and deep discussions into sacrifices and occults. Floor pacing and the whole big bash. Its really intense stuff.
FREAKY VILLIAN ALERT:I am not a scaredy cat but Little John seemed to dark for me.I know, and I root for the bad guys! Even I got a little iffy at the very descriptive witchcraft symbols descriptions and the talk of sinners and offerings. Little John was a spook. How he met some of the characters, the eerie whistling. The occult stuff was taken from real that some groups use , I looked it up. I could see she drew her inspiration from....Creepy.But thankfully this book knows how to cool it down quickly!
BAM! Settings: Than we got Evie's world. A mix of NYC , Harlem, the flats and mansions, estates, and museums. This book had it all, theaters and speakeasies. A shiny world bursting with thrills and life. It's not a flat setting with three characters (cough cough take that YA), you will meet all types of people.
The downside: Though the story is cracking with creativity, it gets a bit dull with certain pages. It goes through the same cliche as Bright young Things, sirens and the Flapper Series. All three four of these books have something in common.
1.The boring girl gets her hair snipped like The Bright Young things and the Flappers Series.
2.Someone falls for the African American male and has a forbidden love drama near the end like all flapper books.
3.One of the girls wants to be in show business.
4.Evie is sent from home, apparently in the 1920s all girls were sent to lay low in NYC, of all places...Sheesh.
5.The detail is sometimes a bit much.I can see how people would find it tedious. It's not written like JP (James Patterson) commercial fiction, no where close.
6. Mentioning Henry though he didn't drive the plot forward. It was having a gay character for the sake of a gay character to seem young and fresh and turn heads. I was egging him on to do something!!! I loved the back story but I wanted him to be more. Like help solve a crime or be a diviner. But no. :(
7.Someone refers to their self as a flapper.
But thankfully this was tucked away in small pockets and didn't run the novel or I would have chewed it up like a saber tooth tiger.
Genre: Think of a thriller, okay and now take that thriller and smash it with a mystery. Now take the dizzying combo and slap it into Fitzergald's work. Than sprinkle some magic than witchcraft in the mix and you get The Diviners.
Age: Fifteen and up, Fifteen at the least because of the words and the style of the writing, this book can be read and devoured by adults as well.
This is not a description of gowns and yadda yadda , ahem Flappers Series, this novel is an actual story other than being about the 1920s.This book is rich of historical details , the cigarettes people smoked, the country issues, world policies, radio songs, down to the very last magazine quote and the actors and actresses quoting real quotes. Libba Bray did her homework, I am happy.If you hated The Great and Terrible Beauty Series but like historical books you will like this book.