Bawling.my.eyes.out! My Only is an emotional ride with stops in Sadness, Loneliness, Jealousy, Anger, Resentment, Happiness, Love and Contentment. I dBawling.my.eyes.out! My Only is an emotional ride with stops in Sadness, Loneliness, Jealousy, Anger, Resentment, Happiness, Love and Contentment. I didn’t quite know what I was getting myself into when I started it but I wasn’t expecting to feel so many emotions. This book was distinctly different from other books I have read because it was told from a depressed, lonely male’s POV. Yes, I have read many books that are completely or partially from the male POV but this one was different and I liked living in his head, growing with him and feeling everything he was going through. N.K. Smith did a FABULOUS job putting me right into Adam’s mind.
Adam’s life is very lonely and sad in the beginning of this book. I think he struggles with himself and what he offers to the world. He has low self-esteem and struggles with the concept of living life to the fullest. There are so many times I wanted to shake him and say “Just go for it”. He is constantly comparing himself to his identical twin brother who is his opposite. Adam may not be an athlete or sit at the popular table or have a group of girls following his every move but he is kind, smart, puts others before himself and is a good musician.
“It was like she was an infusion of light and sensation coursing through my veins.” – Adam
Aaron is Adam’s twin brother and in Adam’s eyes, he has a better life because he has the friends, girls and popularity but I could see that Aaron had his own struggles. Something about him is unsettled and he doesn’t seem as content in his life as Adam may think he is. Deep down, Adam and Aaron were more alike than they thought; they both had a soft, caring side that made them both good guys in my opinion. While we did not get to be in Aaron’s head in this one, I really feel like he grew up during this book and learned a little about life and love.
Olivia is the opposite of Adam when they first meet. She lives life to the fullest and could light up any room with her beautiful, positive personality. She doesn’t linger on what others think or what could happen; she was really an AMAZING person. Olivia lived life without fear and really taught me something while I was reading this (okay, I am crying AGAIN). I liked how she would push Adam out of his comfort zone and breathed a little life into him. She showed him how to be content with who he was, even if he was not Aaron.
“Yeah. Live life. Do you know how many people sit around watching life go by? I decided a long time ago to do the things that brought me joy. I dance, even though everyone tells me I shouldn’t. I watch comedies instead of dramas. I kiss cute boys named Adam.” - Olivia
The description may make this book sound like it has a typical love triangle but it doesn’t. Olivia does end up in both brother’s lives at one point but the story and concept is about so much more than the three of them. It was so much deeper and more complex and touches on some incredibly emotional things such as sickness, drugs, teenage love, high school cliques, friendship and the overall craziness that comes with being a teenager. I loved Adam and Olivia together but even more than that, I loved watching Adam grow as a person. Olivia gave him so much more than love; she gave him the tools to cope with his struggles. She showed him how to live life that there was no tomorrow. She gave him Hope.
Overall, I really liked this story. There were a few times I wished situations were expanded a little more. It was such a great story and when I am feeling the crazy combination of emotions, I want to ride them until I feel ready to move on to the next. I guess there were times the quick change in time or events was too fast for the characters and myself. This book made me think about how I live my life and what I can do to make it better. I should probably tell you to have the tissues ready!...more