Some solid advice here. Unavailable does not mean, necessarily, that the person you are after is not physically present. Unavailability can also stretSome solid advice here. Unavailable does not mean, necessarily, that the person you are after is not physically present. Unavailability can also stretch to emotional, as well. The book could have been a little shorter, however, as some of the middle part, with the descriptions of the various types of Mr. Unavailables, seemed redundant. In addition, this book did not appear to have had a proofreader. Poor grammar abounds - especially mistaking plurals for possessives, which is a personal peeve of mine.
However, if you notice a pattern to your relationships, and they are all fraught with various issues, then you are part of the problem. You are the fallback girl. And until you learn this and how to fix it, you will continue to have unsatisfying relationships....more
2.5. Men and women are soo different, so how they function after a breakup is naturally dissimilar. Men will jump right into another relationship. Wome2.5. Men and women are soo different, so how they function after a breakup is naturally dissimilar. Men will jump right into another relationship. Women will close off to stop themselves from getting hurt again. The book is separated into three parts. The first is general information about how to heal one's heart and that we must feel all the important emotions equally - fear, anger, sorrow, etc. Otherwise, we don't fully heal and bring hidden issues into our next relationship. The latter two sections are separated into Mars and Venus, of course, and how each one approaches healing. Some of this got repetitive. Some also didn't apply. What if people do neither of these things? Does that mean they are not human? I think it's too easy to just draw a demarcation line between the sexes and use that as our excuse or explanation, especially as recent studies show that these 'gender differences' are not necessarily hardwired from birth....more
Some really good insights here. Gentle but no nonsense. The spiritual enlightenment angle was nice, too. The last section of the book is a seven day rSome really good insights here. Gentle but no nonsense. The spiritual enlightenment angle was nice, too. The last section of the book is a seven day ritual that would be very useful if your failed relationship is still very raw. For those of us who have healed a little, but still have our broken moments, there is advice for us as well. This book also made me realize that I would benefit from meditating again on a regular basis (I used to, but fell out of the habit). Bottom line - unlike other books that tell you to be constantly upbeat and push negativity aside, the author encourages you to own your feelings. Don't wallow, but invite your inner demons to dinner and look them in the face. By doing so, you will emerge much stronger....more
I don't want every man to want me, but I have to give her props for a catchy hook. The preface reads like a bad infomercial (are there good infomerciaI don't want every man to want me, but I have to give her props for a catchy hook. The preface reads like a bad infomercial (are there good infomercials? Probably not). "What if I told you that I could make magic happen in an hour's time? What if I taught you how to harness the magnet that resides inside every woman to pull men out of thin air and towards you RIGHT NOW? I'm going to share the secret of being so irresistible that you will change your life no matter what!" I'm only being slightly over-the-top here, by the way. In case you were wondering, the author has been a Jill-of-all-trades - life coach, fitness personality, relationship expert, stock car driver . . .
So, how do we become irresistible? Ms Forleo says that the first and most important step is being in the present moment. "Make ISness your business." What does this mean? No matter what happens, roll with it as if you wanted it to happen. She gives the reader an "action challenge" (these are sprinkled throughout the book to put the ideas in the chapters into practice in your life) - for 24 hours, no matter what happens, observe the shit going wrong and say, "And this is what I want!" Your printer breaks - that's okay, it's what you want. You're stuck in traffic which makes you late for work - breathe easy, for it's what you want. Okay. What if the traffic that makes you late gets you fired? In this economy especially, that is NOT what you want. If you go to the doctor and you are told you have a tumor, is that okay, too? Don't worry - cancer is what you want! I'm being glib, but it's quite easy to go down that road.
Being in the present moment is not a new concept - Buddhists speak of "is-ness" as well. And I understand that this is not supposed to be a very deep book, but the flippant way the author goes about it bothers me.
Moving on. There are five truths every irresistible woman needs to know.
1. A relationship will not save you. I agree with this. The Hollywood ideal of someone else "completing" you is always shoved in our faces, however, and we grow with this idea. Classic Disney movies - someday, my prince will come and rescue me. And don't we all have this fantasy, anyway, no matter how intellectually unsound we KNOW it is? It's not acting on it that is the lesson to be learned here. You do not need someone else to be complete; you are complete all by yourself.
2. Relationships are spiritual opportunities, not a needs exchange. A relationship with another person is the path to spiritual growth. However, isn't this also a need? Abraham Maslow, an early proponent of humanistic psychology, drafted a Hierarchy of Needs, of which "self-actualization," loosely defined as spiritual growth and change in order to recognize one's full potential, was at the top.
Maslow posited that once the basic, physiological needs have been met, one can advance to the next level. So, in brief, spiritual growth between two people, according to this view, would be a "needs exchange." Therefore, this point contradicts itself.
3. Life is now - this is it.
See earlier, about living in the present.
4. Men are "as-is" merchandise - love 'em or leave 'em, baby!
Fairly self-explanatory; don't try to change men. If this is a fundamental truth, though, why does society always shove exceptions in our faces? It's easy to blame society, I know, but it can have a very big impact on how such things are perceived. Add that many of the general population are easily swayed by such things and voila, preconceived notions! Men are guilty of this, too.
5. If you want guarantees in love, you don't want love.
Yes, I know, nothing lasts forever. People fall out of love all the time. However, without hope or faith that people will keep long-term promises, why even bother? Why get into relationships? Why fall in love and get married? Live in the moment - will that be the new excuse when partners cheat? "Sorry, honey, you know I love you, but I live in the moment, and at that moment, he was there, naked and ready!"
Next up, the seven habits of highly unattractive women. I'll make this brief.
1. Don't be needy.
2. Don't be insecure. (Isn't that kind of the same? Usually needy people are already insecure, so now you have TWO strikes, ladies)!
3. Don't be a "clueless communicator." Be an active listener - no judgement, no filling in the other person's sentences whilst they talk. Really hear what they are saying as if it is the most interesting thing they will ever say.
4. Don't be sloppy or unkempt-looking.
5. Don't be hard and bitter.
6. Don't be catty and critical, especially of other women.
7. Don't be boring in bed.
Yawn. Haven't we heard all of this before? And yet, I can think of several people I know who fit one or more of this "seven unattractive habits" and guess what? GUYS FLOCK TO THEM. Usually because they fit society's image of attractiveness - stick thin and gorgeous. So, whatever, lady.
The next section is broken up into eight chapters, each with the different secret on how to magnetize men. The first one is to ditch your rules. I agree that those Rules books are destructive, and only reinforce charades and games that trick men. However, she also says to get rid of your "perfect man" list.
To this I say, nay.
I suppose it depends on what is on your perfect man list. If it reads, "6'5", blonde hair, green eyes, et cetera," and mainly focuses on physical characteristics, I agree that it should be tossed. However, if you're like me, you have certain personality traits you look for, such as a sense of humor that matches your own; and you have dealbreakers, such as "must be able to live with a cat." She thinks we should get rid of those, too, because you are boxing yourself in, and limiting interesting people you can meet. Have fun! Date all kinds of people! That is good advice . . . if you're still partying it up and in your mid twenties.
I'm single in my early thirties; I have no patience for random dates. If I need a list to help me pare down idiots who are still living the bachelor lifestyle, so be it.
I agree that you should have your own life and interests, and make sure you keep those interests and hobbies active whilst you are in a relationship. Sadly, I have to admit I have not always followed this advice in my own life and it's something that I need to change.
However, she has another glib chapter about parents not screwing you up, because it's probably your own perception. Of course, she backpedals and says that some people really DO have major abuse and such in their lives, but hey, so did Oprah, and she overcame it; why can't you?
I finished the book, but it just gets more ridiculous from there. I think it's because the book cannot decide what it wants to be. It has a light, humorous tone, but you're not going to find anything earth-shattering here, although she certainly paints it that way.
Finally, a very good Kindle First selection. Historical fiction, set in the Massachusetts Bay Colony during the 1670s. Mystery, intrigue, suspense, aFinally, a very good Kindle First selection. Historical fiction, set in the Massachusetts Bay Colony during the 1670s. Mystery, intrigue, suspense, a strong female character, and even a little romance. The first few pages were a little slow but I was soon hooked and tearing through this book....more
I recently started an International Book Club, and this is our first selection. I wanted something from Afghanistan that wasn't by Hosseini; he is a gI recently started an International Book Club, and this is our first selection. I wanted something from Afghanistan that wasn't by Hosseini; he is a good writer, don't get me wrong, but he is generally the go-to person when "books about Afghanistan" are mentioned.
I have never read anything by Ms. Marciano before, but she has a good style and is eminently readable. Although this is a work of fiction, the ground situation described in Kabul felt very real, as if I were actually traveling with our protagonist, Maria, an Italian photographer who ends up quickly thrown into an assignment with a English journalist named Imo Glass. The subject - arranged marriages and the high rate of suicide among Afghani women. Danger is everywhere and will they even be able to do what they set out to do, given how cloistered the women are? ...more
Another solid kindle first selection. What does it mean to be a perfect parent? Ella appears to have it all figured out, especially with a son who hasAnother solid kindle first selection. What does it mean to be a perfect parent? Ella appears to have it all figured out, especially with a son who has multiple issues, the most obvious being his Tourette's syndrome. But then a crisis occurs, and her husband, Felix, a perfectionist and workaholic from the word go, is suddenly thrown into the role of parent. Unfortunately, he only can see Harry ''s disabilities. Can they make this work?
I appreciated the fact that the author didn't go for the automatic stereotype of Tourette's wherein the sufferer just shouts obscenities. It's not as common as pop culture would have us believe.
This is a dark novel in places, but also endearing in others. Definitely recommended....more
Difficult to read, as it has the elongated esses (the ones that look like effs, the actual term for them fails me at present), so not as fun as I wantDifficult to read, as it has the elongated esses (the ones that look like effs, the actual term for them fails me at present), so not as fun as I wanted it to be. A few bawdy songs in here, too. The dictionary of cant is pretty slight. It's a cautious pamphlet rather than a study....more
Ah, trashy books. See, kids, before E.L. James and her bullshit, there was VC Andrews. I started reading this series when I was about ten. Thanks, neiAh, trashy books. See, kids, before E.L. James and her bullshit, there was VC Andrews. I started reading this series when I was about ten. Thanks, neighbour lady, who loaned these books to my mom and grandma! Except this installment, for which I had to go to the library and have the librarian tell me it was not a children's book and refuse to check it out to me, leaving my mom to intervene. Which, reading this all now, I'd do surprising to me. Why did my mom let me read this??
Anyway, I never thought one could feel pity for the evil grandmother, but yet, you do. To a point. More on my blog soon....more