Something strange is going on at Arnie's bakery, ever since a sinister woman sold him a batch of sweet-smelling flour. The donuts he bakes with that fSomething strange is going on at Arnie's bakery, ever since a sinister woman sold him a batch of sweet-smelling flour. The donuts he bakes with that flour are more addictive than crack for his beautiful assistant Julie. She used to want nothing to do with Arnie, but now, not only does she demand more donuts, she demands sex. And, as her appetite for food and sex grows, so do her curves.
This is one of Janno's best stories, bringing a darker edge to the cartoonish fantasy of previous creations. You really can have too much of a good thing. Arnie finds himself torn between lust and justified fear. There is a kind of puritanism to dieting, a denial of the flesh. In this story things go totally the other way. Julie is off her diet and the appetites of her flesh appear to be limitless. Like the blob she just gets hungrier as she gets bigger.
Book 1 ends just as The Hunger Bakery is about to cast its spell over some new female victims. I can't wait to find out what happens when the donut dough really hits the fan!...more
Thirty-two-year-old widow Elena McGregor gains a new lease on life when she takes on the job of librarian at a Northwestern University and finds the yThirty-two-year-old widow Elena McGregor gains a new lease on life when she takes on the job of librarian at a Northwestern University and finds the young male students are very attracted to her. She enjoys playing the flirt, but one day finds she has met her match when a Viking-style hunk named Eric Valrsgard uses the return of some very overdue books as an excuse to get up close and personal with her.
This short story is just the usual introduction of characters followed by a sex scene, but it stands out because of the smooth and classy writing. The dialogue is good and the descriptive passages are economical and evocative. It should appeal to those who like their erotica romantic and with a touch of wit....more
Noah is a university student in the second year of his studies. His roommate has a tendency to have sex with his girlfriend while Noah is still in theNoah is a university student in the second year of his studies. His roommate has a tendency to have sex with his girlfriend while Noah is still in the room. One day Noah leaves the door open and other students witness a passionate sexual scene. This leads to a loss of inhibitions which spreads throughout the dorm and beyond.
This story wasn't quite what I was expecting. I thought it would be a tale of the gradual growth of sexual licence as the students' inhibitions broke down through experiments in voyeurism and exhibitionism. It isn't like that. One door left open during a sex session and the next thing you know the dorm corridors are full of naked students engaging in rampant group sex orgies. It's kind of like an erotic equivalent of the zombie apocalypse.
But, once I realised what kind of story it was, I loved it. The writing is sometimes pretty rough, with the same expressions used repeatedly during sex scenes, but, unexpectedly, Flowers has created characters you can care about. Even though casual sex is available on tap, these young men and women have romantic aspirations as well. And risky games and character conflicts bring an element of suspense. The sex is very raunchy with an emphasis on describing the emotions of the characters. And the passion is leavened with playfulness. This is a happy feel good fantasy world....more
The owner of a secondhand bookstore finds himself the subject in a social science experiment conducted by a group of schoolgirls keen to take advantagThe owner of a secondhand bookstore finds himself the subject in a social science experiment conducted by a group of schoolgirls keen to take advantage of the fact that they have passed the age of consent.
There is something very English about this story of a socially awkward man taken advantage of by a brash and bratty teenager. There is the conflict between lust and propriety, and just a touch of pathos. The sex is sketched in with some explicit by relatively brief descriptions and the dialogue has a sense of authenticity to it....more
Sometimes you can find a real old treasure in a thrift shop. When Hazel the horny granny takes Jimmy and Roland, her two nineteen-year-old lovers, toSometimes you can find a real old treasure in a thrift shop. When Hazel the horny granny takes Jimmy and Roland, her two nineteen-year-old lovers, to the thrift shop, the treasure they discover is her only slightly younger friend Stella, who is it's owner. Hazel thinks Stella needs to discover just how to enjoy her sexy sixties. A trap is laid and, when she takes the bait, so is Stella. The boys are going to need all their youthful stamina to satisfy this pair of mature man-eaters.
While this may not be quite as compelling at the first book in the series, it gives a taste of the more anarchic adventures which might open up for our intrepid pair of granny-lovers....more
If you thought the only thing wrong with the Walt Disney princess movies was the absence of incestuous fisting, fairy suicide bombers and carnal relatIf you thought the only thing wrong with the Walt Disney princess movies was the absence of incestuous fisting, fairy suicide bombers and carnal relations with domestic animals then this book is for you. Perverted parodies don't come any funnier or sexier....more
John and Jerry are back and this time their voyeuristic tendencies have led them to the life drawing class at the library. The hot model they have heaJohn and Jerry are back and this time their voyeuristic tendencies have led them to the life drawing class at the library. The hot model they have heard so much about doesn't turn up so they persuade the hippy MILF art teacher to pose naked with them in a series of risqué tableaus vivant.
This story is slightly less believable than Jaz Hall's elf stories. The transformation from art class to full on orgy doesn't take very long. But, hey, the fact that I can't see it happening in real life doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be there if it did. If you are one of those people who misses the days when "art" was a code word for "dirty", this might just be the story for you.
I'm looking forward to more John and Jerry stories. Bring on the MILFS!!!...more
A pair of perpetually horny college students decide to impress a couple of girls by pretending to be members of an expensive gym. Things don't go as sA pair of perpetually horny college students decide to impress a couple of girls by pretending to be members of an expensive gym. Things don't go as smoothly as they had hoped, but this pair have a unique ability to stumble into ecstasy, which is what happens when they find themselves mistaken for masseurs by a pair of pleasure-loving soccer moms.
John gives a wryly humorous telling of the pair's adventure. One of my favourite lines : "On the upside, they weren't very smart, but on the downside, neither were we." It's a brief story and the ease with which the pair are able to move from the application of scented oils to the outside of the women's bodies to the application of their own bodily fluids to the inside of those bodies may stretch credibility, but it's delightfully raunchy fun and that's what counts. ...more
This short story is about a young man named Steve who discovers something which many erotica writers have discovered before him - there is money in inThis short story is about a young man named Steve who discovers something which many erotica writers have discovered before him - there is money in incest.
Steve's sister has been using her naked body to charm the dollars out of a bunch of horny fans via webcam, and when an accident causes Steve to stumble into one of her live shows it looks as if they might become the most successful brother and sister act since the Osmonds.
The central plot idea is a good one and Hall makes the most of it, concentrating on the drama of characters led by circumstance to move into forbidden territory. Where a sex scene is not needed for the plot she leaves it to our imaginations, but where it is needed she doesn't skimp on the raunch. It is easy enough for us to take the fantasy from there.
For those who like happy stories about horny people who do very naughty things. Hot stuff!...more
There are many tricky situations in which we can find ourselves during the course of our lives, and advice on how to deal with these situations is alwThere are many tricky situations in which we can find ourselves during the course of our lives, and advice on how to deal with these situations is always welcome. That's where Dr. Mosely Untreu comes in. Or maybe he doesn't. If you're a woman then books answering questions about what you should do with your penis are probably going to be of limited practical value. And since the situations Dr. Untreu advises about coincidentally happen to be ones unique to the fantasy lives of immature males of all ages, their practical real world applicability, even for the unfair sex, is questionable at best.
Actually the concept for this raunchy humour series is a pretty good one. When the titles of the stories alone provoke a smile and maybe a belly laugh, it's a good start. How much does reading the story add to the entertainment value inherent in that title? Well, the story is very brief and best suited to those looking for laughs rather than titillation, but Thomas is skilled at striking comic sparks from the collision of an absurdly pandering male fantasy and the pomposity of the self-professed authority. I look forward to reading more....more
I was curious to read this book after reading about an author's campaign to have it removed from certain sales outlets. When I hear that someone is shI was curious to read this book after reading about an author's campaign to have it removed from certain sales outlets. When I hear that someone is shocked and offended by a book it immediately arouses my interest. And I abhor censorship.
The controversy here arises from the book's title and plot description. Sally Hemings was Thomas Jefferson's slave as well as his mistress. He owned her according the laws of the day. This wasn't just a BDSM master/slave situation. Is it appropriate to use this real-life relationship founded in an atrocious social practice - that of slavery - as the basis for an erotic paranormal romance? To critics this is the romanticisation of racist rape.
Now my knowledge of American history is not that great. I was aware that Jefferson had had a sexual relationship with a slave but didn't know much more. So I read up on Wikipedia and used Google to find a short video produced by the History Channel on the life of Sally Hemings. During that video the relationship between Jefferson and Hemings is referred to as a "romance". The term "rape" is not used once. This makes me think that it might be more appropriate for those who object to this relationship being portrayed as a "romance" rather than "rape" directing their protest against the History Channel, which many trust as a reliable source of knowledge, rather than this book, which is likely to be read by very few and taken seriously by none.
What makes things more complicated is that the book itself is not what it claims to be. While the extremely short main story, the one which mentions Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings, is proceeded by a couple of even shorter sexually suggestive pieces - one on dancing nudists and one on nude photography - that story itself is not, by any definition of the term, erotica. Thomas Jefferson himself doesn't appear in the story at all. His name only appears because Sally Hemings is sometimes referred to as "Jefferson's Vampire Sex Slave". And she only makes a relatively brief appearance in the story, if you can call it a story. It is more like a philosophical tone poem fever dream. The opening lines read : "Now Sally Hemings the vampire mistress can become like a man. As a werewolf Sally the vampire sex slave can have the the strength and agility of a man and even over power him." So we can see that Sally Hemings is "the vampire mistress" and "the vampire sex slave". So when a conversation takes place between "Vampire Mistress" and "Jefferson's Vampire Sex Slave" (the former scolding the latter for being a poor servant to her) we can only assume that this re-imagining of Sally Hemings is a woman with a split personality. And that conversation is her only appearance in the story. The rest consists of a long discussion between a king, a prince and a Vampire Blood Scientist about the nature of vampirism and lycanthropy and a possible cure for the conditions. Oh, and there are a couple of poetic passages relating to the spiritual aspects of menstruation and childbirth.
What I like about this piece of writing is it's eccentricity and flashes of poetry. It feels like something written by someone who is insane or on drugs. What I don't like is that the dialogue is lumped together within paragraphs and there are quite a few typos, making it a bit hard to read. And then, of course, there is the misleading plot description.
It is a well-worn cliche that a particular book is "not for everyone". But what book is for everyone. O.K. Some might suggest the dictionary, The BiblIt is a well-worn cliche that a particular book is "not for everyone". But what book is for everyone. O.K. Some might suggest the dictionary, The Bible or the phone book. What we really mean when we say that a book isn't for everyone is that it is for a select few.
The work of comic book artist, porn connoisseur/historian, trash film aficionado and ranter of riotous rants Robin Bougie (and his partners in crimes against good taste) is for those of us who self-identify as "jaded sickos". If you are not a member of this merry band don't even look at the cover.
This first volume of the Cinema Sewer series is a revised and expanded re-presentation of the first 12 issues of the magazine of the same name. The text is mostly hand lettered in capitals by Bougie. This doesn't always make it easy to read, but it gives it a pleasant home-made feel. The articles and reviews/plot synopses of films and television shows are illustrated with wild drawings, by Bougie and others, along with photos and ad matts. Fans of the old underground comics of the Sixties and Seventies will enjoy the artwork, which ranges from the pornographically erotic to the hallucinogenic or stomach-churningly grotesque. What it never is is tasteful.
This applies also to the written content. Bougie (along with his fellow contributors) presents himself in a warts and all uncensored form whether engaging in fantasies about actress Thora Birch participating in an incestuous orgy with her alleged porn star parents, spewing a comic rant against all of those who decide to become parents (followed by a roundup of films with child killing scenes in them), or describing a porno parody of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Bougie is like an adventurer to distant and dangerous lands who comes back to relate his adventures to stay-at-homes like me. I'm glad I've never witnessed someone committing suicide, but Bougie's history of people who have committed suicide live on television satisfied my morbid curiosity. The same is true of many of the sick underground porn videos he describes. (There were times I felt an impulse to try to read the page with my hands over my eyes.) The world can be a disturbing place and there are some parts of it I'd rather have someone else look at for me.
It isn't all disturbing though. There is coverage of sexy films, enjoyably cheesy films and general oddities. Some of the descriptions of Japanese television programs are particularly astounding. And then there is The 100 Worst Porn Movie Titles by Brad Yung, which is hysterical. Who knew there were porn movies called : Let's Stain the Couch, Big Trouble in Little Vagina, Moulin Splooge, Airtight Granny or May the Foreskin Be With You?
Perhaps most impressive in terms of the writing are Bougie's articles to do with the porn business. He explains how the myth of the snuff movie originated, dissects the controversy over Linda Lovelace, provides a commentary on the development and decline of the feminist anti-porn movement, and relates the story of Marc Wallace, a porn star who knowingly gave AIDS to at least six of his female co-stars.
And if you like this one, there are three more volumes available....more
With this story you get what you expect, a brief clumsily-told story of a girl's entry into the world of group nerd sex. If that sounds appealing youWith this story you get what you expect, a brief clumsily-told story of a girl's entry into the world of group nerd sex. If that sounds appealing you may find Buffy's artless enthusiasm charming....more
This story is written from the point-of-view of Joel, an expert seducer of women and an expert pleasure-giver. He's an accounting software consultantThis story is written from the point-of-view of Joel, an expert seducer of women and an expert pleasure-giver. He's an accounting software consultant and in this first of a proposed series he sets his sights on Jessica, an attractive married accountant with whom he is doing some work.
What makes this story is the convincing first-person narration which grabs you and brings you into the story. Of course Joel is smug and arrogant, but because he really is able to do what he brags about being able to do, men will want to be him and women will want to be with him.
Were it not for the fact that we are inside the head of the character this might be just another raunchy sex story. It's like having a commentary when watching a sporting match to build up the drama of the event.
The other element which gives the story appeal is that of the ordinary normally unadventurous woman who is unlocked by pleasure to release an inner self who wallows gleefully in the full messiness of sex even in a situation where she is risking everything.
It will be interesting to see how the adventures of Joel work as a series. The appeal could wear off if they are too much the same. Continuing success will depend on the creation of a varied and convincing series of women to be on the receiving end of his "panty-whispering" and also some serious challenges to this talent, lest he fall into the "Superman trap" of being so invincible that all suspense over whether or not he will succeed dissipates....more
Remember the old Roadrunner cartoons? Poor old Wile E. Coyote would get blown up and have anvils dropped on his head, but then he'd be back in actionRemember the old Roadrunner cartoons? Poor old Wile E. Coyote would get blown up and have anvils dropped on his head, but then he'd be back in action a few seconds later. In reality we don't want to see someone blown up or mashed by a falling anvil. But it is only a cartoon. This book is like that. It is full of every kind of depravity, but it is basically a happy feel-good story because it all takes place in a cartoonish world in which nothing is serious.
Princess Aggie is a sexually-insatiable and perverse elf and these are some of her adventures. When she isn't having sex with members of her own family, humans, ogres, unicorns, horses, dogs, etc. she is attending parties (i.e. orgies), playing strange sports (which usually end in orgies) and sometimes having encounters with ghosts. Rape is the favourite sport of the kingdom, but everyone seems to enjoy it - whether giving or receiving.
Some of these are fully-developed little stories, some are just brief incidents. Often they are laugh-out-loud funny, especially if you have a sick sense of humour. They are also surprisingly sexy for stories which are so sick. Maybe it is just me, but in this cartoonish universe, I found that the more depraved the action got the sexier it was. There is just something irresistible about Aggie's unquenchable perversity. And you can rest assured that nothing is sacred. One of the hottest sex scenes involved Aggie, her sister Isadore, and several of Santa's reindeer.
If you've ever seen the movies "Network" or "Broadcast News" (or if you saw Russell Brand's appearance on MSNBC), you'll realise that television newsrIf you've ever seen the movies "Network" or "Broadcast News" (or if you saw Russell Brand's appearance on MSNBC), you'll realise that television newsrooms can be stressful places. And what better stress reliever is there than sex. So, in this novella, the staff of a news program gradually discover that the best way to let off steam is to engage in orgiastic exhibitionistic sex with co-workers in the offices, the toilets, the elevator, etc. And news anchor Karen even discovers the perfect natural remedy for a ticklish throat.
The appeal here is in the enthusiasm with which the story is told and its cheeky cheerful pornutopian perspective that all any of us really need is a chance to honestly express our animalistic selves in a good old fashioned orgy. Speaking of "animalistic" some of these characters may have some bulldog genes in them judging by the way they drool and dribble during sex : "...they kissed each other with a ravishing hunger, their mixed saliva spilling and flowing down from Karen's chin. It flowed down her neck into the valley of her bosom."
Karen's spirited pursuit of pleasure comes alive on the page and the fantasy presented is an appealing one. There may be some rough edges - some repetition to the way the sex is described and a relative paucity of fleshed out characters for a story which ends up with about thirty or forty (I would guess) people playing musical genitals. But none of that matters all that much when the story is so much fun to read....more
I loved this warm witty little story about a married woman surprised to find herself succumbing to the temptation to have revenge on her erring husbanI loved this warm witty little story about a married woman surprised to find herself succumbing to the temptation to have revenge on her erring husband by picking up a handsome stranger for a wild night of abandon.
What makes it so intoxicatingly sexy is the way the author takes us into the mind and emotions of her lead character. The tension between conscience and concupiscence (and we know which one will win out) ramps up the passion of some very sensually described sex.
Add to that a infectiously cheeky sense of humour, and this is a story not to be missed. I can't wait for more from this new talent....more