How in the hell am I going to describe this book without fan-girling or gushing?
Hmmmm . . . *snaps fingers* I think I got itActual rating: 4.5/5 stars
How in the hell am I going to describe this book without fan-girling or gushing?
Hmmmm . . . *snaps fingers* I think I got it.
When I first got this book, I was expecting a light, funny, fluffy book a la Sarah Mlynowski's Magic In Manhattan series. Then, I checked the publisher: Hyperion Books A.K.A. a division of The Walt Disney Company. Oh boy, I thought, this is going to be fluffy indeed.
Okay, it starts with our protagonist, Sophie Mercer, getting in trouble by making an unsuccessful love spell. Her misadventure gets her sent to Hecate Hall (nicknamed "Hex Hall"), a boarding school for other delinquent paranormal creatures like werewolves, shapeshifters, fairies, and witches. And let's not forget vampires. Oh, yes. Sophie gets a vampire roommate named Jenna, and everyone thinks that Jenna killed Holly, an old student at Hecate Hall. And some dark witches get bitchy when Sophie rejected them. And she develops a crush on Archer, the boyfriend of one the witches. Same old, same old.
But, I was okay with that because my expectations weren't that high with this one. Then, the second-half came. That was probably my favorite part. The story became more developed and the suspense was making me ache. I was questioning, "WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON? WHO ACTUALLY DID IT?"
And then the last 30 pages happened. I don't want to spoil this book so much, so I'm going to write my reaction. Enjoy.
*heart pounding* Oh, my God . . .
No, it can't be . . . Oh my God, it's true . . . Holy shit . . .
NO. No. NO!!!
Sophie is a . . . what?
And the ending?
I think that sums it up pretty well.
The writing could have been better, though. Oh, well.
The heroine is witty and funny (She tried to control a werewolf with "BAD DOG!") and the twists are unpredictable. What more could I ask for? The sequel. Yes, please....more
**spoiler alert** You know what? No. Fuck no! I think rating it 1 star is being extremely generous in this case. What the hell was this? I was warned seve**spoiler alert** You know what? No. Fuck no! I think rating it 1 star is being extremely generous in this case. What the hell was this? I was warned several times that this book wasn't good, but, like always, I don't listen. I guess I like torture way too much.
Oh, boy. Mother isn't going to be happy with that fact.
Do I even have to explain why this book was terrible? Yes? Well, I know I'm writing a review, but do I really have to--? YES!! Okay, fine. Let's get this shit started.
Shit, that felt good.
PLOT: T-there was . . . a plot? Are you fucking serious?!! (view spoiler)[Lupin: How did you know about Sirius and I? (hide spoiler)] Saying that this book has a plot is like saying that The Last Airbender wasn't bad!! Here's what I got so far:
Helen lives in Nantucket. Nantucket is boring. She lives with her dad, Jerry. A new clan of vampires people arrived. Everyone loves them. Helen almost kills one of them. His name was Lucas. After trying to kill each other, they date each other. Helen wants to sex him up. He says no. Helen is upset. Helen discovers that the Delos's family are descended from Greek gods and Helen is one too. They go into training. Helen gets more powers. Shit happens. MORE shit happens. Lucas and Helen can't be together because the Houses have to be separated. Groan. More groan. Daphne, Helen's mother, reappears. Daphne tells them that they're first cousins. "You know what? This is gross. Incest, yuck!"
THE. FUCKING. END.
The whole story was predictable and dragged on way too long. This book is almost 500 pages long, people! And nothing ever happens in there!! UUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH. I saw the plot twists coming and I was never impressed. Not. A. Bit.
WRITING: Oh fuck, are you serious? The writing skills were amateurish at best! SHOW, DON'T TELL!! SHOOOWW, DAMMIT!! IT'S NOT SO HARD!! Basically, the sentences were too simple and its love for info-dumping was too extreme. And let's not forget its attempt at similes and metaphors. Oh, boy.
but her insides felt gooey and soft, as if she were a freshly microwaved chocolate chip cookie.
Helen ripped into the bread like a medieval glutton with low blood sugar.
JUST LOOK AT THEM!! And the dialogue? Trying too hard. What teenager says "What the holy grenade"? TELL ME!! After several bad paragraphs (Which were a LOT), my head started to hurt and I was craving aspirins. ASPIRINS!! I HATE ASPIRINS!! And a drink. I'M UNDERAGE!! Even my eyes wanted to bleed because the writing was too painful. And did I mentioned the info-dumping? Angelini tried to stuffed all the Greek histories in short paragraphs, and guess what? I learned nothing.
If you want to expand some Greek knowledge, this is not the right book. Apparently you have to learn the ENTIRE story before reading this. GAH. But, this is nothing compared to--
THE CHARACTERS: The main character is Helen Hamilton, the most beautiful girl in Nantucket. You know, kind of like Helen of Troy. Very subtle. Apparently, she's so SHY and AWKWARD and doesn't realize how beautiful she is. And she's clumsy. THAT'S SO ORIGINAL. And she's also a brainiac! Helen was made specifically to make the reader feel sympathy for her. Girls hate her because she's beautiful and every guy pays attention to her. The guys even call her Heaven Hamilton. No kidding. If you hate her, you're just jealous. And she has really super KEWL powers and gets stronger each chapter. She's the most powerful demi-god there was and nothing can kill her!! In other words, she's a Mary Sue. And an idiot. Oh, yes she is. And before she met Lucas, she's never have a boyfriend or been kissed. Because if she's not "pure", readers will think she's a whore that needs to die. Right. And even though she has super KEWL powers, she doesn't use them. You know why? "Because killing enemies is so mean". She is so damn useless. Why give her superpowers if she's not going to use them? She lets other people save her ass! I. DON'T. GET. IT. Useless, useless, useless! She is the definitely the worst YA heroine I've ever encountered. Sorry Bella Swan. And she's part of a prophecy where she will save the world. Yikes.
Next we have Lucas Delos. He is so hot and every girl falls for him. Because he is so hot. And he has swimming-pool blue eyes. That's so creative. When he first met Helen, he wanted to kill her. And then they fall in love with each other. They can't live without each other! Co-Dependency for the win!! I didn't like him. At all. He orders Helen around (Even the quotations are marked as "he ordered") and gets horribly jealous when she talks to other people.
"Is Zach after you?" Lucas asked with wide eyes. "Oh, not really. He wants to talk to me about something, I think," Helen said as if it wasn't important. She shut her mouth before she could say too much. "Yeah, I'll bet," Lucas said with a sneer, his blue eyes turning nearly black as he sensed her untruth. Is there any reason for Zach to think that you might be single?" "Are you trying to make me jealous or are you just so frustrated that you're already looking for someone else? Someone who would give in to you?"
And this is before they were dating!! Basically, Lucas kept saying no to Helen, but is is suddenly a tragedy if Helen wants to be with somebody else. FUCK THAT. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE??! And he threatened to rape her at one point. Only because she wore a certain type of pajama.
"I only have so much willpower, Helen. And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid."
Translation: "If I force myself in you it will be your fault because you tempted me with your transparent nightgown." This behavior is not okay. Being in a relationship is supposed to feel safe. When your boyfriend is threatening to rape you, you BREAK UP WITH HIM. What will happen then when you're completely alone? Hmm? Nobody deserves to feel used in a relationship. And he likes to panic Helen on purpose! Look!
"You're pretty cute when you panic," he said with a huge smile.
Because it is so cute when guys make you fear for your life for their enjoyment. In other words, Lucas attitude toward Helen is like this: "I know we can't be together, but I'm still going to order you around. Now go to sleep, you inexperienced woman." I can't. And if Helen dares to lose her virginity to another guy, Lucas will kill that guy! Ah, true love. Oh, and here's the kicker: He watches Helen sleep. Can writers please get it through their heads that stalking isn't romantic? Look, just because Twilight did it, it doesn't mean that people will find that attractive. And if they do, they have serious problems. Is this the guy women really want? An arrogant, creepy, abusive love interest with the excuse of having good looks? *checks the best-selling list* But of course they do. And apparently he switches places with Hector to watch her.
The Delos family: Let's just say that they're kind of like the Cullen clan.
Minor characters: Claire, Helen's best friend, who always tries to prove that she is right so (view spoiler)[she pushed and stabbed Helen just to see if she had powers. (hide spoiler)]; Matt, Helen's other best friend; Zach, guy that suspects that Helen is hiding something; and Gretchen, the girl that ruined Helen's reputation because she accidentally pushed the bathroom door while she was in it by accident. And she still hasn't get over it after 7 years.
We have the most fascinating and complex characters in the history of literature right here! Sigh.
VILLAINS: Just pathetic. We have Creon who pretty does nothing until the end. He spends the majority of the novel staying in Spain, longing for Helen. That's right. He lusts after Helen, too. That's not cliched at all! And he says crap like:
A lady never cheapened herself by using foul language
He had sworn to remove the feminine evil from the cestus from the world so that all men, Scions and normals alike, could finally control their lust.
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, A THOUSAND TIMES FUCK YOU!!! How can people still have this primitive mindset about women? And a WOMAN wrote this! A WOMAN! How can we still think that women are to blame for men's actions? How can we still degrade women by the way the talk, dress, or act? This is disgusting and unacceptable. I know the villain said that, but it is perfectly clear by the way it is written that this message is being preached. I'll talk about the message later. Then, we have Daphne Atreus, Helen's mother. Short story short, she abandoned Helen when she was a baby and cursed her. And then she suddenly appears in her life just to lie to her and Lucas that they're cousins. How pathetic is that? She was a really annoying villain and I wanted her to disappear. Then, those two (view spoiler)[kill Pandora (hide spoiler)] and Hector (view spoiler)[kills Creon, making him an Outcast (hide spoiler)]. I hope Daphne gets her turn.
WHAT STARCROSSEDPREACHED TAUGHT US (WARNING: I don't mean to offend anyone with this. I'm just mocking the book's message.): Hey girls! Did you know that if two boys fight over you, it is all your fault and deserve to be hated if those two get in trouble? Silly girl, didn't you know that men are never responsible for their own actions? And if you try to fight back, you're wasting your time. You're a woman, you always want drama in your life. If you're beautiful, girls will hate you because us girls are jealous harpies that want all the attention to ourselves. And you know what? Let's all make fun of domestic abuse!
Ha ha, look at her! She obviously liked being beaten up! Can't you see how much she enjoyed it? You know what? Since it is so funny, let's all pretend to be in an abusive relationship to justify your bruises to your parents! That will be a very funny family reunion.
I'll just tell him [Jerry] you abuse me," Helen said with a shrug. "And I'll tell him you like it," he teased back.
And you want to fight? *dope slap* Silly woman! Don't you realize that men do all the fighting and you're supposed to stay in the kitchen? If you want to fight, do it to stay in shape! You're supposed to be feminine and round! No men likes a strong woman!
Everything about Ariadne was so feminine and round and lovely that Helen simply couldn't imagine anyone hitting her. "Do you guys do this to each other often? The fighting, I mean." Ariadne was shaking her head before Helen had even finished talking. "No. We spar together to stay in shape, but only the boys really fight, and only when they need to get something off their chests."
Your boyfriend orders you around? He's doing it for your own good and he loves you! That means he really cares about you! Don't worry if he tries to rape you. He's your boyfriend and you're suppose to do what he says! Besides, it's not rape if you like it. And please don't curse! You're a lady, not a tomboy! Being watched while asleep is so romantic. Never questioned it. He's doing it for your own good. And if a guy rapes you, it is all your fault. Why can't you be more careful with your clothes? Look at your skirt! No wonder their penises couldn't contain themselves. *dope slap* Silly woman. And oh my goodness! The guy you liked is gay? You know there's a solution for that, right? It's called getting a sex change.
She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.
You may live happily ever after. And EW! You're trying to have a life outside your relationship? Why do you hate him so much? You're supposed to depend on your boyfriend! That's real love, you silly woman! You're not supposed to have a mind of your own, your boyfriend IS your mind. And OMG what are you doing? Are you trying to have sex? BOO! YOU WHORE! You're supposed to lose your virginity to your husband and no one else. Wait, you love that guy? Screw you, silly woman! You deserved to be left behind when he's done with you! Don't you realize that men don't want a woman who has been deflowered? That's right, ladies. Your virginity is all you have. Without it, you're a big whore who deserves to die a painful death.
PLOT TWIST: It's all a lie. Helen and Lucas believe that they're cousins and they suddenly stop loving each other. Huh. I guess the thrill is gone. It is legal to marry your cousin in some states. Problem solved! Oh yeah, I forgot. Fucking your cousin is disgusting. The stupid thing is, they're not related at all! This conflict is utterly useless. UUUUUGH.
ANY POSITIVE QUALITIES? Hector. That is all.
I could go and on, but enough is enough. This book blows. It's shit. Crap. Garbage. IT FREAKING SUCKS. Nothing more than a preachy, sexist book. And it has a sequel! Oh boy, what did I do? *sighs* I have to continue. I think I'm going to throw up.
. . . Wow. Excuse me while my heart keeps pouring out rainbows . . . Wait, what?
Since I liked Unearthly really much (Liked? Try LOVED!!), I was very exc. . . Wow. Excuse me while my heart keeps pouring out rainbows . . . Wait, what?
Since I liked Unearthly really much (Liked? Try LOVED!!), I was very excited to read the sequel, Hallowed. I was actually going to read this three months ago, but SOMEONE was keeping the book from the library WAY too long. I hate people like that. Some people want to get it, damn it!
Moving on . . .
Hallowed continues right after the events of Unearthly. Clara Gardner had a purpose: To save the boy (Christian) from the fire. Since she didn't fulfill that purpose exactly the way it was supposed to be, her purpose won't leave her alone. Clara chose Tucker Avery as her love, but Christian ain't having that! Oh, ho ho no!! They belong together, y'know? THE PURPOSE IS TELLING THEM TO! OBEY THE PURPOSE OF GOD!! You know what? I don't want to hear the word "purpose" for a long time.
It will be hard to review this without fan-girling.
See? I'm still doing it!
I just loved it so freaking much! Tucker, Angela, Marge, Jeffrey, pretty much everybody. (view spoiler)[Specially Clara's father, Michael. Oh, my yes. (hide spoiler)] Everything is more developed. The plot, the characters, and the prose. At first I hated Christian, but now? I think I'm in love! Why, oh why? He is too sweet and caring. But, what about Tucker? Oh, yeah. He got a little mean. Still really, really irresistible, though. Rawr. I mean, damn you, love triangles! I normally hate them with a passion, but here it worked so well! And the relationships are still healthy!
In Hallowed, we finally got to know more of the characters intentions: Marge's real reason for being secretive, Jeffrey's real reason for acting so strange, and getting more into deep with the "purpose". Damn that word . . .
The writing keeps being wonderful! Man, I want to kiss it so badly! Is still gentle as the wind and fast-paced. Even though the action is lacking, the themes of family, love, and relationships were so great made I didn't care.
And Cynthia Hand really has a sense of humor. She makes fun of love triangles and . . . Twilight.
I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept, just in case, I don't know, his comic book collection decided to spontaneously combust. This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way. pg. 86
Before I moved here, I never got the whole love-triangle thing. You know, in movies or romance novels or whatnot, where there’s one chick that all the guys are drooling over, even though you can’t see anything particularly special about her. But oh, no, they both must have her. And she’s like, oh dear, however will I choose? William is so sensitive, he understands me, he swept me off my feet, oh misery, blubber, blubber, but how can I go on living without Rafe and his devil-may-care ways and his dark and only-a-little-abusive love? Upchuck.
And that ending!! Oh my God, that was, that was . . . so heartbreakingly beautiful. *sniff* So beautiful.
This is perhaps one of the best YA angel fiction I've ever read. I need the conclusion. Now.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
Well, well, well. This is the book that actually started the cliche storm that influenced the Twilight series. Put it in your book history book (Whaa?Well, well, well. This is the book that actually started the cliche storm that influenced the Twilight series. Put it in your book history book (Whaa?), my dear readers!
I haven't seen the TV series yet (I will until I finish the entire series. I can't wait for Nina Dobrev, one of my favorite actresses!), but I'm pretty sure it's so much better than this. I don't know, maybe it was the writing that set me off. I wouldn't say it was terrible, it just wasn't . . . good. I will say it once again: Show, don't tell, goddammit!
Since I was more familiar with the TV series, I wasn't expecting Elena to be . . . blonde. And with lapis lazuli blue eyes. Because ordinary blue eyes are too mainstream, I guess. And because brown hair is for ugly girls. Didn't you heard that gentlemen prefer blondes, girls? Okay, here's my problem: Elena is a whiny bimbo. There, I said it. Elena isn't the typical ordinary girl. Instead, she is the Queen Bee and really rich. But, wait! Her life isn't perfect. She wants everything to be perfect, because if she doesn't, her life is ruined! Oh, how my heart aches for her suffering. She has a really nice boyfriend, Matt; (view spoiler)[Who is a monster as well. I spoiled myself by accident. (hide spoiler)] the best friends in the world; and of course, a frenemy, Caroline, who wants to take her spot as the most popular in school. And she is a superficial bitch who is willing to have what she wants, because she is also a spoiled parasite.
Yawn, yawn. Where's the spice?
Then, Stefan arrives. And in case you missed, HE IS A VAMPIRE! Elena immediately falls in love with him and is willing to dump her boyfriend so he can have him. Bitch. Stefan realizes that Elena looks like Katherine, his former lover, and the reason he is a vampire. Katherine also had an affair with Stefan's brother, Damon, whom is now his worst enemy. He falls in love with her as well, but ignores her for some reason. Stuff happen, blah blah blah, after some angst, they finally get together. It doesn't make me happy, though, considering by the fact that their relationship is a bunch of garbage. If that isn't codependency, then I don't know what is! Even Elena said that she will dead without him, even before they got together. And he apparently stalks her. Great, that's exactly what we needed: Another creepy YA lover. If doesn't matter, though. Wait, what? Why am I saying that? Let's do a little quiz, shall we?
QUESTION TIME!! If you discovered that the guy you liked has a piece of clothing of yours (the one you lost on your second day of school) and you've been officially dating since yesterday, what would you do?
a) Call the police. b) Think it was the most romantic gesture somebody has ever done to you. c) RUN. AWAY.
If you chose either A or C, then you're not Elena Gilbert. Enough. Said.
And where is Damon? Honestly, I didn't pay attention to this after Elena and Stefan got together. Nothing interesting happens from there.
Oh yes, I forgot! Someone is murdering innocents in the town! Who is responsible for this heinous crime? I don't think I care.
The blurb tells you that there's a love triangle. The only love triangle at the moment is the one between the Salvatore brothers and Katherine. Which happened, like, centuries ago. I'm still intrigued about what will happen with Elena and the Salvatore brothers, though. Okay, yes, this book was predictable, cheesy, with bland characters and plot-less, but I still want to know what will happen next. That's my explanation for the rating I gave for this book. EDIT: The rating is now 2 stars after some consideration.
One thing, though: The ending was so messy. That's not a cliffhanger, that is just being lazy! UGH.
I'm thinking that I made a really big mistake. Oh, well. ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
Every time I see the cover, I have this imaginary rap in my head:
Bitches be like, I'm so fly But the truth is that t
Their love was meant to be.
Every time I see the cover, I have this imaginary rap in my head:
Bitches be like, I'm so fly But the truth is that they're not I'm the baddest bitch, you should never doubt When I shit on these haters while I skyrocket high
Look at me motherfuckers, look at me fly Look at me motherfuckers, with my ass saying bye Don't forget to kiss it and my anus, too Because you know deep down that I want to get kinky with you
Oh, the things my mind does.
That being said, I knew this book was going to be terrible, but I wasn't expecting the terribleness. For a book that is so short and easy to read, it was a living snooze pill, but not as relaxing. Unoriginal doesn't begin to describe it. Rip-off is more like it.
And you have every reason not to. I also can't believe myself either. Here's yet another cheap imitation of Twilight. Sure, it doesn't have vampires and they're in Ireland, but it doesn't mean there's not similarities. Let's start, shall we?
*Heroine starts with moving to another state (in this case, country). *Heroine immediately starts making friends despite being ordinary. *Heroine meets mysterious SUPER HOT boyfriend with green eyes and falls in love with him almost instantly. They have a biology class together. *Love interest does too, but warns her to stay away anyway after he rescued her. *Heroes professed their love for each other and can't live without the other after just a few weeks. *Hero confesses that he had watch her sleep before and that he's paranormal. Heroine doesn't give a fuck. *Hero introduces Heroine to his paranormal. family. He has two brothers with names that start with an A (Who is pixie manic one) and a R (Who doesn't like Heroine). *PLOT TWIST: Heroine has powers too eventually. *Their love is consider destructive and may result with a DEMON SPAWN FROM HELL baby. *Harmless villain captures Heroine. Evil laugh. *Villain gets beat by deus ex machina. Heroine ends up in hospital. *I'LL LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOOUUUUUU FOREVEEEEER!! OOOOOOH YEEEAH, YEAH, YEEEAH!!! FOREVEEEER!!!!
THE. MOTHERFUCKING. END.
Could you guess which book we are talking about? Holy shit, yes! We are talking about Twilight, y'all!
But, wait! This is not Twilight! This is Carrier of the Mark! SO SIMILAR!
I want to tell you the plot, but you already know it. But, I'll tell you this: It's nonexistent! Like Twilight! SHOCKING.
Now, let me tell you about the characters . . .
Megan Rosenberg: Our protagonist, she falls for Adam DeRís, a mysterious boy at first sight. She almost gets assaulted but Adam rescues her. MAKE OUT TIME. She discovers that she's also a paranormal being like Adam's family. She's also a Carrier of the Mark and of royal blood at the same time, which apparently hasn't happened before. And also, there's a possibility that she's part of a prophecy where she's considered the fifth element and the key to save the world. In other words, Mary Sue. GASP! Like Bella Swan! SHOCKING.
Adam Derís: Mysterious boy who saves Megan for assault. Loves Megan ans watches her sleep. Stalker. He's a paranormal being. Looooves making out with Megan. Horny bastard. He's needy and wimpy. They love each other after two weeks of meeting. Codependency for the win. He also has green eyes. GASP! Like Edward Cullen did before he was a vampire! SHOCKING.
Caitlin: Megan's human best friend that has a boyfriend. She always talks about him. He may or may not have cheated on her. They break up. They come back. THE END.
The DeRís family: Paranormal family. I'll tell you what they're in a minute.
Aine DeRís: A pixie cute girl. Has a "sight". Not similar to Alice Cullen. At all.
Rian DeRís: He's mad most of the time and doesn't like Megan. Not similar to Rosalie Hale. At all. Except masculine.
You think this book rips off ONLY Twilight? Think again . . .
The Deris family are element benders. Rian is fire (of course), Aine is earth, Adam is water . . . and Megan happens to be the missing element: Air. Megan is the last airbender, y'all!
It takes the cake that Adam is a water-bender, just like Katara, Aaang's love interest. SUBTLE.
But, wait! There's more!
The mythology: A mind screw. Adam and Megan shouldn't have sex because she will have a 25-year-old pregnancy and that baby will destroy the world. Just like a baby that used to be the Black Plague. Yeah. Do you get it? I didn't.
Writing: Mediocre at best. SHOW, don't TELL, damn it! And juvenile writing. Oh, dear God. Most of the descriptions were: "I made a face", "He made this, he made that" "Pukey"! I know this is YA, but it shouldn't mean that the writing should be atrocious. Damn it.
Conflict: . . . There was a conflict? Really? Oh, I remember! 20 pages before the end, a villain named Lyonis Fleet (Yes, really!) captures Megan. For some reason. Oh, and he has a British accent. So original. Blah, blah, blah, evil laugh, blah blah blah, Adam comes to the rescue! But, oh no! Adam is losing! That makes Megan mad! And then . . .
I suddenly realized that I was up in the air high above them. I appeared to be radiating a bright light. The air around me swirled until Icould no longer see the land. River water started rising up and spinning around me. Next the boats lifted, then some trees, their great roots torn from the earth by the brutal force emanating from me. It was a massive vortex, spreading out farther and farther until the riverbed was visible, the water swirling high above it. The boats and the trees that had been tugged up swirled so fast that their outlines became a blur. I saw the object of my rage running away. He was making for the woods, but I pushed out the great vortex of moving air and debris so that he stayed constantly in my sight. There was no way he could break through its impenetrable wall. “You,” I snarled. My voice was not mine. It was a mixture of howling wind and cracking thunder. “You will pay.” I clasped my hand, as if to pick up his little body far below me on the ground, and he rose right into the air until he was at my level. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he screamed, flailing his legs and trying to shield himself from my glare. “Too late for that.” My voice reverberated around the valley. I saw them waving up at me, but I was beyond caring what they wanted. The power inside engulfed me, took over my very core, and it needed vengeance.
Yeah, that just happened.
Villain is defeated and Megan and Adam are happy.
That's it? All this building up for the Big Bad and it only lasts for one chapter of 10 pages? And gets defeated in the last two by a deus ex machina? A DEUS EX MACHINA! What. A. Ripoff. This is just lazy. The villain came out of nowhere and left out of nowhere. I hope the next villain isn't utterly pathetic in the sequel. IF I read the sequel. Which I will. Damn it.
Megan goes to the hospital, leaves, and CHEESE FOR MEGAN AND ADAM!! THE. FUCKING. END.
Was there at least a positive quality? NONE!! Okay, the setting, but THAT'S. IT. This book sucked monkey's balls and actually gave it a blowjob! That's how much it sucked.
Fallon, you had a promising story and you decided to let Twilight fucked it up its ass and get it pregnant! This is the result, damn it! Why? JUST WHY? You had Ireland and element benders! You only needed a better world-building and characters! Good riddance!
I sure hope Shadow of the Mark doesn't end up being New Moon: The Remix, because then my fury gets higher!
I'm afraid that if I write a proper review for this book I won't do it any justice. But, I'm going to say this.
I liked JanelActual rating: 4.5/5 stars.
I'm afraid that if I write a proper review for this book I won't do it any justice. But, I'm going to say this.
I liked Janelle Tenner's character. She wasn't whiny or stupid. Perhaps a little reckless, but she's not an idiot. About fucking time someone made a proper teenage protagonist. Then there's Ben, the love interest. He sounded like the typical mysterious "I don't give a shit about the world" paranormal guy, and I'm glad he was more complex than that. And that romance? Well, I was kind of disappointed that they fell in love instantly but at least their love wasn't forced or unnatural. They really did care about each other and not in the superficial way. Refreshing.
And the plot? Janelle gets hit by a truck at the beginning of the story. That accident killed her but somehow she's brought back to life thanks to Ben. Then, people are dying inexplicably and turning radioactively gelatinous. And there's that countdown to end of the world. Janelle has to find a way to stop the clock and the reason why people are dying before it's too late . . .
The story contains elements of sci-fi, mystery, and paranormal (if that wasn't obvious). There were some subplots that were out of place and non-interesting (view spoiler)[The-whole-possible-rape-memory? Yeah, I didn't get it either. (hide spoiler)] and that made the pacing slow down for me. There were also some twists that I did see coming, (view spoiler)[What Ben really was. (hide spoiler)] but towards the end IT HIT RIGHT IN THE FACE what happened towards the climax. And the ending! Oh, my gosh that was . . . so bittersweet. Did I mentioned the writing? No? Well, it was wonderful. It took me like 200 pages to noticed that it was written in present tense, and that's a very complicated thing to master! Kudos to you, Norris. :)
Even though it wasn't extremely amazing, I still enjoyed very much. Fans of the sci-fi TV series The X-Files and Sliders will certainly enjoy this book and get their "science fiction fix".["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
I thought it couldn't get any worse. Boy, I was wrong.
Bethany Church, or the Paranormal Mary Sue, whichever you want to call her, hasn't changed. At aI thought it couldn't get any worse. Boy, I was wrong.
Bethany Church, or the Paranormal Mary Sue, whichever you want to call her, hasn't changed. At all.
After Xavier proposed to Bethany at the end of Hades, God made it really clear that this marriage was an abomination. Did Xavier and Bethany listen? Of course not. So, they get married, cheese cheese blah blah, and OMG! A reaper appears to destroy it. What should they do? Bethany protects Xavier which made the reaper KILL Father Mel, Xavier's family friend! DID I JUST READ THAT RIGHT? BETHANY, AN ANGEL, KILLED SOMEBODY! Okay, not directly, but she caused it. Her response after Gabriel and Ivy arrived? “We didn't know it would happen!”
*sighs* Bethany, you marry a human, which is prohibited by Heaven law, and you didn't know it would happen?
I doubt that Bethany will realize that, though.
So, Gabriel and Ivy tried to reason with her but she. Won't. Listen.
"But why? This is not fair! We only wanted to get married! Why can everyone see this from our perspective? What we have is TRUE LOVE!!"
Selfish, is Bethany's new name.
The new plan is to hide them because a group of Slenderman-like angels, the Sevens, are out to destroy them. Thanks a lot, Bethany, your stupid actions caused a lot of chaos.
"But I didn't mean it!"
Fuck you and shut up.
Gabriel and Ivy produced new identifications (which is impossible considering it was made in no time) so they could pass as brother and sister in Oxford. Okay, pause. That's impossible. You can't just go to college without filling out applications. It takes time, damn it! Something that Adornetto doesn't seem to understand!
So, they get into college and Bethany gets a roommate, Mary-Ellen, which is another excuse to mock teenage girls and their "sins" once again. Blah blah blah, more drama with a popular girl wanting Xavier, blah blah blah, a bonfire and-- *record scratches*
Bethany and Xavier HAVE SEX. Oh, no.
The worst part is, they decided not to use a condom because "Forget about it!" So much for the abomination of Nephilim.
Blah blah blah, AND MOLLY IS BACK ON THE PLOT! Really? She moves to Oxford so she could get together with this creepy, controlling, guy named Wade. She's SO over Gabriel, y'all.
Oh, talking about "y'all", Adornetto couldn't help but stereotype Southern people. Yes, really.
Then, Hell breaks loose over Xavier and Bethany's marriage (Wtf?) and like, always, Bethany is being selfish.
I felt my stomach sink to my shoes. Was this my fault? Were people now dying because of me, because I'd been stupid enough to make Lucifer angry?
Yes, Bethany. Thanks for your stupidity, everyone is suffering. Get it through your head.
Blah blah blah, MARY-ELLEN CATCHES THEM MAKING OUT. SCANDALOUS BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BROTHER AND SISTER. BETHANY ERASES HER MEMORY. Done.
Blah blah blah, SEVENS ATTACK AND KILL XAVIER! Wait, what?
THE BEST THING FROM THIS BOOK, PERIOD. But it doesn't last.
Blah blah blah, demon possession, blah blah blah, Jake is back, blah blah, Gabriel gets his wings stripped--
BLAH BLAH BLAH, I don't care. (view spoiler)[By the way, she meets Xavier's dead girlfriend, Emily. And Xavier is part-angel. HOLY SHIT! Way to go, Adornetto! You couldn't help but make him more special, could you? And apparently this whole mess is because he is part-angel and not because Bethany is marrying Xavier. Now that's what I call totally missing the point. (hide spoiler)] Short story short, Bethany gets back to Heaven, she finds it boring, God gets mad, she gets her wings stripped, AND SHE'S FINALLY HUMAN. Yes, you read that correctly. She gets rewarded even though she caused disaster and chaos everywhere. Such a Mary Sue. Even though two years passed when she was in Heaven, Xavier and Bethany get back together and live happily ever after. THE. FUCKING. END.
This was all over the place, it wasn't funny. This homophobic, sexist (There's a part where it explicitly says that women should obey their husbands), and Christianity-ruiner mess of a book is absolute trash.
And I'm glad I'm done. Thanks a fucking lot for the suffering.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
I like how incredibly suspenseful and provoking this short story is. It shows that you should be really, REALLY careful on what you wish for. The WhiteI like how incredibly suspenseful and provoking this short story is. It shows that you should be really, REALLY careful on what you wish for. The Whites should have known that a long time ago.
By the way, you're a jerkass, Mr. Sergeant-Major Morris. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! ...more