Every so often I come across a book like this that makes me think I should seriously reevaluate my star allocation system.
Everyone should read this boEvery so often I come across a book like this that makes me think I should seriously reevaluate my star allocation system.
Everyone should read this book.
As seen in the October 2015 issue of Toastmaster magazine.
"Of course, in advance, we don't know what we don't know. But rather than assuming we already know everything we need to, we should assume that there is important information we don't have access to. It's a good bet to be true."
"There's nothing wrong with having these rules. In fact, we need them to order our lives. But when you find yourself in conflict, it helps to make your rules explicit and to encourage the other person to do the same. This greatly reduces the chance that you will be caught in an accidental duel of conflicting rules."
"Instead of asking yourself, 'How can they think that?!' ask yourself, 'I wonder what information they have that I don't?' Instead of asking, 'How can they be so irrational?' ask, 'How might they see the world such that their view makes sense?'"
"It's not okay to look only at my contribution. That's not reality as I see it. I feel like in trying to look at both of us. Is there anything I'm doing to make it hard for you to look at yourself?"
"Have Your Feelings (Or They Will Have You"
"When people are having a hard time listening, often it is not because they don't know how to listen well. It is, paradoxically, because they don't know how to express themselves well. Unexpressed feelings can block the ability to listen."
Like the shark metaphor, "Almost always, an increased awareness of the other person's story changes how we feel."
"The bottom line is there is no bottom line. Ben can feel good about many of his actions and choices, and ambivalent or regretful about others. Life is too complex for any reasonable person to feel otherwise. Indeed, a self-image that allows for complexity is healthy and robust; it provides a sturdy foundation on which to stand."
"After observing O Sensei, the founder of Aikido, sparring with an accomplished fighter, a young student said to the master, 'You never lose your balance. What is your secret?' 'You are wrong,' O Sensei replied. 'I constantly losing my balance. My skill lies in my ability to regain it.'"
"For many of us, that's not easy. Our Identity Conversation tells us loud and clear that asking for help is not okay — that it is shameful or weak and creates burdens on others. These thoughts are powerful, but ask yourself this: If someone you loved — an uncle or daughter, a favorite colleague — were in the situation you find yourself in, would you think it was okay for them to ask for help? Why should you be held to a different standard? "If part of your identity is believing that you don't need help, then asking for it is never going to be easy. And when you do ask, not everyone will come through for you, and that will be painful. But many people will. And by trusting them enough to ask, you offer them an extraordinary opportunity to do something important for someone they care about. Then one day, you may have the opportunity to return to favor."
"Like free radicals, feelings wander around the conversation looking for some acknowledgement to hook onto."...more
**spoiler alert** Apparently so-named because it takes place in Midnight, Texas and is a crossover of Charlaine Harris's other series: Manfred Bernar**spoiler alert** Apparently so-named because it takes place in Midnight, Texas and is a crossover of Charlaine Harris's other series: Manfred Bernardo, boy psychic from the Harper Connelly mysteries, is a major character; another major character is from Shakespeare, Arkansas and is buddies with Lily Bard; and one of the characters is, of course, a Southern vampire.
Which makes no sense. I haven't read the Lily Bard series, but I'm pretty sure that if there were vampires (and witches) in Harper Connelly's world, it would have come up. And yet here Manfred is tossing off lines like "Don't they have a bottle of blood here for you?" (so it's not just that vampires exist, but they're mainstream enough that you would expect a diner in the sticks to have synthetic blood for them) and the Rev preaches about the oppressed two-natured as if people know what that means.
I liked Manfred and Fiji and Bobo and the Rev, but I don't know if I'll read more of this series....more