This is easily my favorite Sedaris book. I wasn't busting a gut or anything, but I also didn't feel like I needed to. It was just really enjoyable, th...moreThis is easily my favorite Sedaris book. I wasn't busting a gut or anything, but I also didn't feel like I needed to. It was just really enjoyable, that's all. (less)
This book is so freaking good and absolutely nothing like the fairy princess adventure I expected it to be. I held my hand to my mouth and cried silen...moreThis book is so freaking good and absolutely nothing like the fairy princess adventure I expected it to be. I held my hand to my mouth and cried silent, unbreathing tears more than once. I felt a dancing joy at asah and bara. And while I can't be gay, I can love and loathe myself as much as the next guy; as much as Joel Derfner.(less)
I think this is my favorite* of the three Christopher Moore novels I've read so far. (This one, Fluke, and Lamb.) I must like this one because I'm so...moreI think this is my favorite* of the three Christopher Moore novels I've read so far. (This one, Fluke, and Lamb.) I must like this one because I'm so smart--I figured out the science mystery with the rats and stuff before everyone in the book did, so that makes me even smarter than Christopher Moore, a biologist, a psychologist, and a stoner constable combined. I also really like this book because the cover is green.
*Not that I pick favorites. I love everything the same.(less)
Sometimes I forget that David Sedaris isn't funny in the way you might think. But he's pathetically, sadly, humanly funny and that makes him better th...moreSometimes I forget that David Sedaris isn't funny in the way you might think. But he's pathetically, sadly, humanly funny and that makes him better than you might think.(less)
Not as funny as Colbert's I Am America and so Can You but funnier than anything by Rush Limbaugh, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex* is an encyclopedia of all...moreNot as funny as Colbert's I Am America and so Can You but funnier than anything by Rush Limbaugh, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex* is an encyclopedia of all the things you want to do in the bedroom but know you probably shouldn't since it was, after all, written as a joke.
*Not recommended for readers in the middle of a serious and depressing break up. DEFINITELY recommended for couples, singles, polys, readers going through an un-serious breakup, virgins, liberal grandmas, and gazellemos.(less)
I see you. Yes, you. The Tom Robbins fan. Quit making that face. Yank out the wedgie. Relax, man! This two-star rating bears no reflection on YOU. I’m...moreI see you. Yes, you. The Tom Robbins fan. Quit making that face. Yank out the wedgie. Relax, man! This two-star rating bears no reflection on YOU. I’m not giving YOU two stars. I’m not even giving Tom Robbins two stars. It’s just that B is for Beer is terribly disappointing. I mean, you see the cover, right? Look at it! Look how totally awesome and retro it looks, right? You see the Simpson-esque largesse of the stein, with a hoard of dance-happy (overly long-armed) adults surrounding? They’re living the good life, gazing up at the cup which runneth over, celebrating the rush of good energy that races through any crowd of joyful imbibers.
Such promise! Such hope! Can such pure, overwhelming joy really emanate from these 125 pages? When I finish reading this book, will I feel as gleeful as the people on the cover?
The fact of the matter is, B is for Beer is sort of a textbook. And a boring one. It’s hard to make beer production interesting, because, let’s face facts, science and agriculture are fascinating, but not as fascinating as, say, sex. Or murders. Or time travel. (Wait, unless it’s sex with a time-traveling scientist, dragging you with him across space and time as he attempts to outrun the contract on his head!) I digress...
So, yeah, B is for Beer is sorta textbooky. Even the arrival of a Beer Fairy doesn’t do much to make the adventure wilder or more brewski-like. And it doesn’t help that the protagonist is a 6-year-old girl. We’re meant to believe that this 6-year-old girl is quite cute, quite smart, and quite curious, but frankly, I don’t even buy into the fact that she’s a 6-year-old girl, let alone a cute, smart, and curious 6-year-old girl.
Let us then quell my boredom and discuss two points which I found to be lovely, uplifting, scenic points. 1. Costa Rica. 6-year-old Gracie’s uncle moves to Costa Rica. Did you know that Costa Rica has free health care, has a zillion national parks, and has no military? Sign me up! I wanna move to Costa Rica!!! 2. Sappy quotes. As Gracie and the Beer Fairy part ways after rescuing a young ingenue from impending doom, the fairy says to Gracie, “I want you to promise me that you’ll always be this brave, that when exploiters disguised as public servants offer you protection from puffed-up dangers, you’ll turn your back and skip away. Promise me you won’t be afraid of travel, of people different than yourself, of spiders, bats, bullies, dentists, attorneys, peer pressure, bad taste, social disapproval, insecurity, Sugar Elves... That you won’t quake before old men with titles, and most especially, that you’ll never be afraid to love, not even when there’s a chance you aren’t being loved in return.” Oh. My. God. You tugged my heart strings and jerked my tears, Tom Robbins! I don’t care if it’s cliche. I shall hold my hand over my heart, cry one round, salty tear, and toast life with a cold one.
So, two weeks ago, I reviewed 1984 and gave it a mere two stars. And that, combined with my 4-star rating here, makes me afraid that you're going to j...moreSo, two weeks ago, I reviewed 1984 and gave it a mere two stars. And that, combined with my 4-star rating here, makes me afraid that you're going to judge me as being a stupid dummy with a low IQ. But in order to move on with my life, I have to bury my head in the sand and pretend that I don't care what you think! So there!
Anyway, this book sure is funny. I laughed a lot. A bit out-dated because it's copyright 2000, but still very funny. I recommend it to people who like funny things.
I wouldn't pay 15 bucks for this sucker, but the $3 I paid was well worth it! Combing through the Humor section of my local used bookstore, I came acr...moreI wouldn't pay 15 bucks for this sucker, but the $3 I paid was well worth it! Combing through the Humor section of my local used bookstore, I came across this hidden treasure and never looked back. Filled with horrendous pop-culture references from the late 90s, the CIGFD is Colbert before there ever was a Colbert (only not as funny). Authors Dullard and Dolt have written your best how-to on living the "ignorance is bliss" lifestyle. (I didn't even notice that the title's spelled wrong. Excellent! I'm well on my way to becoming dumber, and therefore happier!!!) By the time you're done reading it, you'll be glad your hopes and dreams didn't come true. After all, happiness can only be found in a bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos, sweetly accompanied by a can of the Silver Bullet and an obsessive compulsion to watch High Def ESPN until your eyes bleed.
10/6--Kim, are you out there? Are you listening? You're Amy Krouse Rosenthal, aren't you? Me, too!!!
10/10--In a brief half hour of stillness, I open my...more10/6--Kim, are you out there? Are you listening? You're Amy Krouse Rosenthal, aren't you? Me, too!!!
10/10--In a brief half hour of stillness, I open my book. And my breath is stolen by the entry on Dying. A sudden snap, and life as we know it is over. And not so much by our own death, but by the death of someone we love or of someone we don't even know. This entry tells me that Amy Krouse Rosenthal has a hole in her heart that can't be filled by all the funny encyclopedia entries in the world, no matter how hard she tries...
10/11--Finished. I am reminded, time and again, at each turn of the page, that we are the same person, bonded by silliness and sentiment. My god, it almost makes me feel normal.
Some of my favorite parts: ~Tuesday Night. Amy and her kids walk along and a woman in the neighborhood runs out her door asking for help!!! Her zipper is stuck, and can Amy help her out of her dress. OHHH! So touching and sweet. ~Identity. An experiment you must see! ~Infinity. Is infinity even or odd? I LOVE THE NUMBER INFINITY WITH UNBRIDLED PASSION, YET I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF ITS EVENNESS OR ODDNESS BEFORE!!! Really, it's both and neither, shit I really enjoyed thinking about it for a while. ~Good to Bad Mood. Yes, yes, and yes. ~Catch. The Mars sybmol means "throw the ball." Ha ha ha ha! ~Purple Flower. Where was I at that moment? Sitting in the farmers' market at our "today only because of A&T Homecoming" location, sitting behind a display and glancing occasionally at a pile of fresh kale beside me. I considered emailing Amy (Krouse Rosenthal) my story, per her request. But then I couldn't find her email address. And then I stopped looking because I chickened out. ~On the back page, after the book is technically over. Here you will find a list of things happening right at this moment in another part of the universe. I love this so much because I wonder what other people are doing all the time. I sit and I close my eyes and I think, "Wow. Other people in the world are breathing right now. Sarah Michelle Gellar is probably sitting at a bar with a dear friend, just chatting. Lee Lee Tran who was my best friend when I was in 3rd and 4th grade is somewhere in the world, maybe hugging her daughter (if she has one). Scott, the only man I've ever loved, is on the other side of the world, sleeping. And NOT dreaming of me. I hope he never has sex again for the rest of his stupid stupid life. Ohhhhh, but I bet somebody in the world is having perfect and passionate sex right now, and they will never forget this moment as long as they live. How cool is that? ~Wabi-Sabi. This is the new thing I learned today. I hope I remember it tomorrow.(less)
Rocktastic most wonderfully-awesome book!!!!!!! This cover is not the one I have. I have the Dave McKean cover--not sure what this one is. Mine is bet...moreRocktastic most wonderfully-awesome book!!!!!!! This cover is not the one I have. I have the Dave McKean cover--not sure what this one is. Mine is better. So there.
Never mind. I switched to the right cover. THIS BOOK IS FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(less)
I've always been a sucker for a brotherhood story. Or a fellowship story, if you will. (<--LOTR Reference) I get all choked up and want to throw my...moreI've always been a sucker for a brotherhood story. Or a fellowship story, if you will. (<--LOTR Reference) I get all choked up and want to throw myself into a cause and fight for what's right and good and for what is love. And then someone dies and I grow weary and collapse. That's what happened here. Big-picture-wise.
Little-pictures-wise, I super loved all the beginning parts where they went off and learned all the Taos and Confucies and all and how Josh became enlightened and then decided to become a Bodhisattva for his people. I loved the Yeti parts. I loved the silliness. I loved the BFFishness. I hated all the sex. And at the end, I especially hated that I lost the humanity in Josh. He became a character I no longer felt like I was spending time with. I didn't care if he was crucified or not. And I got bored by Biff and didn't feel his emotion or reasoning (or lack thereof) or drive. It kinda sucked. Gimme 50 more pages and do some depth of character please, Christopher Moore. But anyway, did I mention how I'm a sucker for a brotherhood story? Oh yeah. Complaints aside, this book really hit the spot. I wept. And I wanna read some religious texts, too.
(Ok, I cried some. I didn't actually weep. But I think I'm funny and was referring to the Bible verse: "Jesus wept." See? I'm funny.) Goodnight!(less)