"I was reading this cool book - it was about a bunch of children who were thrown together and forced to play these games to the death."
"No quest"I was reading this cool book - it was about a bunch of children who were thrown together and forced to play these games to the death."
"No questions! So anyway, this one girl volunteered for it and was desperate not to participate-"
"Wait, why did she volunteer if she didn't want to participate?"
"What did I just say? Pay attention. Now, she met this boy who loved her and she said she loved him but really she didn't and he was so shocked in the end when he found out she was faking-"
"Whoa, hold on a minute. What a jerk! Why would she trick him into thinking that if it wasn't true?"
"THERE WAS A REASON! PLOT DETAILS WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED!!!"
This is a bit how reading The Maze Runner was like. You were told bits and pieces, but when asked a why or how, Thomas was told, Shut up! For some reason we will not tell you even though you are smarter than everyone else here and could possibly help us figure this maze out so we can stop being tormented by shucking grievers!
I seriously fail to see how not clueing the reading in on obviously important details for absolutely no reason is helping the novel. All it did was make me think everyone in the Glade is an idiot and doesn't actually want to get out.
Because, guess what? Everyone in the Glade is an idiot.
No one figures out the simplest things without it being explained or "remembered." Dashner treats Thomas like a god because he's so smart he can figure the Glade out, but really he just conveniently remembers everything he needs to at exactly the right time. Also, everything is predictable.
They also make up stupid words like shuck, shuck-face, klunk, and the like. "Why do you say klunk?" "Because that's the noise poop makes when it falls in." Okay... Well when I eat chips it makes a crunching noise, but I don't call eating chips crunching, do I? And shuck? Really? If you want to use swear words, make your book rated R or use normal substitute works like freaking. Why? JUST FREAKING DO IT. (There, now I'm not explaining important review points.)
Also, if someone can explain to me the point of Teresa...
I don't know why she was there, I don't know why they can speak telepathically, and I don't know how [spoiler]she triggered the ending. Oh sorry, I mean The Ending.[/spoiler]
What's with these books all having to capitalize stupid words? I'm surprised klunk and shuck weren't proper nouns. Instead of having grievers, the changing, and the ending - which would have made all those things sound cool - we have Grievers, the Changing, and the Ending. Why? It seems it's only purpose is so test the readers restraint, especially if they got this book from the library. (Oh, you want me to explain that? Yes I don't mind explaining something important because it serves me no purpose for you not to know. Let's put it this way: if I hadn't paid $10 for this book, it would have pen markings practicing my editing skills on all these stupid capitalizations and replacement words.)
If you have this grand theory about the Glade and the reasons behind it, throw them out the window. This is not a unique novel. The ending will not shock you. There are no epic reveals, so don't expect any. Instead, treat this like a light, fluffy read that will pass the time but not really quench your thirst for a good mystery or adventure. I actually enjoyed it myself, but there was such horrible dialogue, plot, and characters that I can't bear to give it a 3 star rating. It's one thing to like a good, it's another to know it's no good. And this, my friends, is no good. ...more
This book lied to me. It promised me great adventures, an awesome heroine, and a lush, gorgeously written fantasy. What did a I get?
Romance. Romance. RoThis book lied to me. It promised me great adventures, an awesome heroine, and a lush, gorgeously written fantasy. What did a I get?
Romance. Romance. Romance. AND MORE FREAKING ROMANCE!!!
Damian's body is beautiful. Damiam's body is chiseled. Damian's body is so hard and flexible and chewy and yummy and UGH I DON'T CARE!!!
This girl spends half the book talking about Damian's body. The other half is spent talking about Rylan's body.
RYLAN'S BODY IS FREAKING PERFECT! I UNDERSTAND THIS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TELLING ME!!! This is one of the most frustrating books I've ever read. I'm going to borrow a line from Khanh's review: Mulan would fucking never. You know what, don't even read my review. Just read Khanh, because she sufficiently expresses my anger.
Alexa is the WORST BOY EVER. She tries to pretend she's a boy... I'm not kidding you, over half of the characters find out on their own, and she is shocked EVERY SINGLE TIME. Speaking of her being shocked, this is the stupidest girl I have ever read about. She can figure out NOTHING by herself. Every time Damian reveals another secret she turns into a pissy, confused Overly Obsessive Girlfriend. They had a picture of her on the back, and this is what she looks like:
There were probably only two things in this book that were actually surprising. It was just so darn predictable. [spoiler]Damian isn't what he seems? Wow I totally didn't guess that! Rylan knows she's a girl and loves her? Huh? Since when? The king is evil? Iker is evil? The Belovon(or however you spell it - the worlds were so non-existent I don't know anything about the place so I don't care to remember it) army didn't kill Damian's mother? Lisbeth is a sorcerer? Jax is Damian's brother? Alexa, for no reason in particular, is the only person who can save the country? I definitely saw none of this coming. (I just lied - I saw all of it coming.) [/spoiler]
And the breeding house? Please explain what point they had, because it seemed like there was none. And I'm not just talking about the reader - I'm talking about in the story, for any character, THERE IS NO POINT. I guess it was just so Alexa would have to hide that she was a girl, but could the author really not think of a better reason? Alexa is almost 17 years old and the war has been going on for almost as long as she's been alive. How many soldiers could these breeding houses produce? Even if they started them at 14, at the beginning of the war, did you really expect it to go on for that long? How does the king justify this to his people? How has there not been an uproar? It's not like they're overly loyal. [spoiler]When Damian killed the king, there was no question about following him, instead.[/spoiler] I know my dad isn't a super special awesome fighting knight, but no way would be allow me or any of my sisters to be taken to this breeding house. He would die first. What is wrong with the mend in these books, that they don't care that their children are being taken away? If I was a guy and someone tried to take my daughter and force me into their army, screw that. I would be sabotaging that place so fast. There's no way that would happen.
Screw this book, screw the characters, and screw anyone who doesn't fight for their children....more
I'm going to try to avoid spoilers, but there may be some light ones!
The main thing I've noticed about Erin Hunter is that she(for the sake of this reI'm going to try to avoid spoilers, but there may be some light ones!
The main thing I've noticed about Erin Hunter is that she(for the sake of this review, I will treat Erin Hunter as one person) creates very good and sometimes unique problems - Tallpaw has some major issues in this book and she did a good job of creating his alienating personality and builds up his Clanmates slipping away from him, and actually managed to avoid pointless romance. She threw in some really good quotes and [she-cat]slapped some cats that deserved it. However, endings are very, very important. For me an ending can ruin a book or make it perfect. This ending didn't quite ruin it, but it certainly didn't compliment the majority of the story, either. There were these intense moments of "ohmigosh shes gonna do it shes gonna make her warrior do somethin baaad" and then it was like... oh. Not a crazy, startling killing scene or a revolutionary forgiveness. It was just like, k. No biggie. Are you kidding me? After reading five hundred pages I get that? Bull.
Another thing that pissed me off was that when Shrewpaw had the same circumstances that Tallpaw later had, everyone was sympathetic to Shrewpaw and turned on Tallpaw. But when the same thing happened to Tallpaw they were all defensive of Sparrow, the poor rogue who just wanted to explore. Hecks no. Defend your Clanmate you punks, not the random rogue that's living in your camp.
I'm also getting sick of Super Editions being Super for no reason. Five hundred pages, and for what? For four hundred and ninety of them to be super build up and ten to be just kay? These Super Editions need to get over themselves. Firestar's was amazing - every chapter was filled with adventure and awesomeness. Bluestar's Prophecy - well, Bluestar. Need I say more? Then we got SkyClan's Destiny, which had some major flaws, yes, but was decent nonetheless. Yellowfang's... eh. I guess. Crookedstar's pissed me off, which is just what it intended, so I'm good with that. Tallstar's Revenge was a little like that, too. But the most major flaw all of them but Firestar's had was that it was loooooooong. For. No. Reason. Why are these so long?! The majority of it is filler. Hunting, fighting pointless battles, training, and there's always a cat that picks on the main character for no reason. And most of the time they're racist. But that's beside the point. The point is these should be probably the size of a normal Warriors book - maybe a little longer. I feel like I'm speaking heresies here, but even Bluestar's was a little boring at parts. (I'm so sorry, my one true love!) Want to know something about hunting? It's boring. I've read about it like 30 times from Erin Hunter. I'm done with hunting. I don't need more. I get that they're cats. Just stop the hunting!
2.5 stars for this book. I was really feeling for Talltail, and that gave it some points. But between the filler and the unsatisfying ending, it really wasn't that great. ...more