This book lied to me. It promised me great adventures, an awesome heroine, and a lush, gorgeously written fantasy. What did a I get?
Romance. Romance. Ro...moreThis book lied to me. It promised me great adventures, an awesome heroine, and a lush, gorgeously written fantasy. What did a I get?
Romance. Romance. Romance. AND MORE FREAKING ROMANCE!!!
Damian's body is beautiful. Damiam's body is chiseled. Damian's body is so hard and flexible and chewy and yummy and UGH I DON'T CARE!!!
This girl spends half the book talking about Damian's body. The other half is spent talking about Rylan's body.
RYLAN'S BODY IS FREAKING PERFECT! I UNDERSTAND THIS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TELLING ME!!! This is one of the most frustrating books I've ever read. I'm going to borrow a line from Khanh's review: Mulan would fucking never. You know what, don't even read my review. Just read Khanh, because she sufficiently expresses my anger.
Alexa is the WORST BOY EVER. She tries to pretend she's a boy... I'm not kidding you, over half of the characters find out on their own, and she is shocked EVERY SINGLE TIME. Speaking of her being shocked, this is the stupidest girl I have ever read about. She can figure out NOTHING by herself. Every time Damian reveals another secret she turns into a pissy, confused Overly Obsessive Girlfriend. They had a picture of her on the back, and this is what she looks like:
There were probably only two things in this book that were actually surprising. It was just so darn predictable. [spoiler]Damian isn't what he seems? Wow I totally didn't guess that! Rylan knows she's a girl and loves her? Huh? Since when? The king is evil? Iker is evil? The Belovon(or however you spell it - the worlds were so non-existent I don't know anything about the place so I don't care to remember it) army didn't kill Damian's mother? Lisbeth is a sorcerer? Jax is Damian's brother? Alexa, for no reason in particular, is the only person who can save the country? I definitely saw none of this coming. (I just lied - I saw all of it coming.) [/spoiler]
And the breeding house? Please explain what point they had, because it seemed like there was none. And I'm not just talking about the reader - I'm talking about in the story, for any character, THERE IS NO POINT. I guess it was just so Alexa would have to hide that she was a girl, but could the author really not think of a better reason? Alexa is almost 17 years old and the war has been going on for almost as long as she's been alive. How many soldiers could these breeding houses produce? Even if they started them at 14, at the beginning of the war, did you really expect it to go on for that long? How does the king justify this to his people? How has there not been an uproar? It's not like they're overly loyal. [spoiler]When Damian killed the king, there was no question about following him, instead.[/spoiler] I know my dad isn't a super special awesome fighting knight, but no way would be allow me or any of my sisters to be taken to this breeding house. He would die first. What is wrong with the mend in these books, that they don't care that their children are being taken away? If I was a guy and someone tried to take my daughter and force me into their army, screw that. I would be sabotaging that place so fast. There's no way that would happen.
Screw this book, screw the characters, and screw anyone who doesn't fight for their children.(less)
What can I possibly say about this book to show everyone my complete disdain for it? Giving it even one star is being so generous to it it makes me wa...moreWhat can I possibly say about this book to show everyone my complete disdain for it? Giving it even one star is being so generous to it it makes me want to just delete the whole thing from my shelves, that's how awful it is. Awful writing, awful(and selfish) characters, awful plot, awful everything.
Let's start with the writing. It was possibly the most bland, annoying, boring writing I've read. And I've read Twilight and Once in a Full Moon. At least those books had most interesting words in them(like hate). This book was just... there was nothing good about it.
The characters were even worse, though! The main character, Abby, is one of the most selfish characters I've ever read about, and her sister is just as bad! My sister had a wedding last year, so I know how wedding are. They're stressful, time consuming, and sometimes the bride gets a little agitated and lashes out. But what was in this book was that plus dramatized by a hundred. First, Carol takes over Abby's computer. No. Way. If my sister changed all the preferences on my computer(if I had one), I would not accept it like the pansy Abby did. I would get her to get the frick out of my room and don't ever touch my computer again. I understand using the computer, but why on earth did she have to change all the preferences to something she knew Abby hated?
And her parents are complete idiots. They flip out the most over the wedding and it's not even theirs! They, too, are selfish. Too selfish to let the bribe pick out her own wedding! They keep imposing their idealist wedding on her and pretty much forcing her to do what they want. It's completely out of control.
Everything in this book is unrealistic. I can't think of one think that I liked about it. There's even a character that says "yo" after every sentence. Could you put up with that? Looking at how long it took me to read this, I'm very surprised it only took me a month and a half. Could it really only have been that long? It felt like it was closer to three months.
I'm ashamed to finally have a book on my shelves that forces me to make a chick-lit shelf. Where else am I to put this monstrosity?(less)
My sister won this book in a Goodreads giveaway, and our friend and I instantly took it from her and started reading it. If that hadn't been the case,...moreMy sister won this book in a Goodreads giveaway, and our friend and I instantly took it from her and started reading it. If that hadn't been the case, I probably wouldn't have finished it. This isn't poetry is the slightest; it's some sick pervert's fantasy world. It's like he didn't know how to write poetry, so instead he decided to just cover that up by maybe being able to satisfy his readers by putting in his most disgusting dreams and hoping that would work. There doesn't seem to be any emotion behind it except that Craig Scott is horny. I hate to call this pamphlet a book, but it is indeed one of the worst books I've ever read.(less)
I have no idea how, but this was even worse than the first volume! Thirty pages into it I almost put it down, but I forced myself to finish it, and le...moreI have no idea how, but this was even worse than the first volume! Thirty pages into it I almost put it down, but I forced myself to finish it, and let me tell you, I'm sorry that I even picked it up. The writing is so atrocious I don't even know how anyone likes this. The characters are all annoying except for the cat, who's only fun because he's the only character that I don't feel like choking with a fork. Rather, I think he wants to choke everyone in this manga with a fork, which is the reason I like him.
When I finished the first volume, I hated it. But I thought maybe it got better. Sometimes it only gets good after a few books. I had up to volume 6 on my to-read list. After this, I'm taking them all off. There is no way I can stomach more of this.
The idea is fun, however, it's executed very badly. The whole hugging thing is just stupid. What a dumb way for them to change. It would be sooooooo much cooler if they were just shape-shifters.(less)
I'm going to save everyone I can from the awful experience I had to go through and give this clear warning: STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK!!!
I picked up thi...moreI'm going to save everyone I can from the awful experience I had to go through and give this clear warning: STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK!!!
I picked up this book because it's a pretty popular manga and it looked like it had a good storyline. But then... I opened it.
Right from the start I could make no sense of it. It went from place to place, jumping here then there, not fully explaining itself... it was a disaster.
Then the story starts to finally come into place and I'm thinking, "At last, it's finally going to be good!" No such luck. Right as it started getting better, it went straight downhill again. The dialogue isn't comedic or smart at all and the art isn't well drawn. The main character, Tohru, was pretty likeable(despite the writing) until Kyo was in it a lot. She was all over the Rat boy(I don't remember all their names because they're crazy Japanese names) until Kyo appeared, and the only reason she switched was because she loves cats. Not because she thought Kyo had a better personality or because he was nice to her, but just because she liked cats better.
Kyo was the only likeable character after that. He was crabby enough that it was funny but not so crabby that it got on your nerves.
Since I already suffered through the first one I'll probably read a few more to see if it gets good, but I doubt it.(less)
**spoiler alert** Where to begin? I gave Elixir four stars. So obviously I expected this book to be at least slightly good. Considering what type of b...more**spoiler alert** Where to begin? I gave Elixir four stars. So obviously I expected this book to be at least slightly good. Considering what type of book the first one is(the lovesick girl searching for her soulmate), I really didn't except much, even though I liked the first one. Wow, was I surprised.
Let's start with the character development. Let's see... hmph. None comes to mind.
Okay, let's move to the cool characters. Hm.... drawing a blank again.
This book had no flow, no character development, no new, interesting aspects, so stunning revelations, nothing at all interesting. Even the writing seemed like horrible quality, which in Elixir it was not. Most of the new things you discovered are things that you've already guessed or won't be surprised by. And Clea... holy crap! Girl, I didn't know you were such a slut! She sees Sage drugged up and making out with a girl so she completely uses Ben to "get back at him." I'm sorry, but what a selfish bitch. Ben has done awful things, but he didn't mean to do those things and certainly doesn't deserve to be used that way. And Clea wasn't even trying to convince herself that she actually liked Ben. She was being completely open with herself about how she was using him. Even when she was almost naked on top of him she was thinking of sticking it to Sage. And then when Ben rejects her because he's not a complete tool, she goes back to her car crying. You stupid, whiny baby! I don't care that your feelings are hurt. In fact, it kind of makes me happy, they way you haven't given a crap about anyone but you boy this whole book.
And what's up with that, anyway? Clea is such a selfish person that she's willing to make probably hundreds of people die before their 30th birthday so she can save a guy that has been alive for 500 years because she loves him. She doesn't care that the guy her friend, Rayna, likes it going to die within two years. All she cares about is that she'll be alone.
And the ending. Wow. You know a book is bad when you only like the last 20 pages, and then not even the ultimate ending. I was so happy when Sage died. I literally smiled and thought that maybe I'd give this book two stars instead of one just for this fact. But then he went and possessed the body of the guy that Ben killed(which is a whole other rant). Stupidest thing ever.
If there's a third book, I'm seriously considering not reading it. And if you know me you'll know that I hate not finishing a series. But I don't think I can stomach more of this.(less)
**spoiler alert** My review for Once in a Full Moon started out talking about Taco Bell, so now I don't know where to start here. Checkers? Hungry How...more**spoiler alert** My review for Once in a Full Moon started out talking about Taco Bell, so now I don't know where to start here. Checkers? Hungry Howies? Because let's be honest, is there anyone in the world who actually wants to talk about this "book"? (Ignoring fools who like it and blissfully ignorant people who haven't read it.)
But then, my review will seem like a masterpiece compared to this book, so I will start from a random place - the end. Someone take a knife and drive it through my skull, because that was possibly the worst ending to a book I have ever read(possibly, because can you really beat Breaking Dawn?).
"Beware a bite under the full moon; it will complicate your love life."
Oh, no! Not my love life! PLEASE GOD NO! NEVER THAT!!! Please make it something life threatening instead!
If you know me, you might know I hate Twilight. But I have got to give it to Meyer, even she made a threat of death in her vampire book. I guess werewolves don't care about dying, though. Their biggest fear is having a complicated love life. I don't think I've ever used this before, but... *facepalm*
The big thing in the ending is that Celeste has to *gasp* kiss her horrid ex-boyfriend! Isn't that the most awful thing you've ever heard of? I mean, Bella Suewan had a whole army of vampires after her, but what if she had to kiss Jake to save herself? Now, that would have been bad. Good thing she got away with almost dying instead. (You know something's bad if it's bad compared to Twilight!)
And I cannot in my whole life rant enough about how crappy these werewolves are. They don't turn into wolves, they turn into hippies with fangs. B acts completely the same when it's his time of the month as he does any other time. How lame is that? But then when Nash changes he's different, more aggressive and stuff. Does that make sense to you? Because it sure doesn't to me.
After I read Once in a Full Moon, I decided I would read all these books just because they make me laugh so much. But this book was disappointing. It wasn't funny. It was boring, and that made me sad(and mad). So I probably won't be reading the next ones, but we'll see.(less)
Before I even read this book, I knew it would be horrible. But I also figured it would be super fun. You know when a book is so bad, sometimes you act...moreBefore I even read this book, I knew it would be horrible. But I also figured it would be super fun. You know when a book is so bad, sometimes you actually love it because it's so hilarious? That this book. I had read Once in a Full Moon before this, which is by the same author, so I assumed that the writing quality would be horrendous and the character shallow. I was very right.
Some names may be misspelled; I was recording my notes with a voice recorder.
The character of Raven is exactly what I expected her to be. A dense, shallow, stereotypical teenage girl who has no idea what's going on. She's the most hardcore Gothic she can be, which isn't really that Gothic because she acts like a six-year-old, and let's face it, six-year-olds just can't be that Gothic. She spends her free time putting on black lipstick. I ask you, how long does it take to put on lipstick? Swipe, swipe, you're done. Maybe get rid of any smudges or add more to one part. Then on page 14 she outlined her lips with lipstick. Tell me, how does one outline their lips with lipstick? Has she never heard of lipliner? And why is she even outlining her lips if she only has black lipstick on, anyway?
In gym class she's supposed to wear white-on-white, every time she wears black-on-black. Every time the coach naggs her about it. Why doesn't she just wear white? I hate wearing all white, but if it was school regulation, I would. It's just unrealistic. Also what is unrealistic is that she used to play in the cemetery around her grandmother's tombstone.
Here are some examples of how dumb she is. At one point she thinks maybe she turned into a vampire, so she goes through some experiments to figure this out. These are very thought out and researched. Reasons to disclaim the theory:
1. The mirror didn't hurt her. 2. She smelled garlic. It didn't hurt her. 3. She looked at the cross. It didn't hurt her.
Then after she goes trick-or-treating, she’s naming all these candies she got. And then, most importantly, spider rings and tattoos! Hello, if you’re a hardcore Goth, you should want more than plastic spider rings and temporary tattoos. They’re probably stupid butterflies, anyway.
Page 9: "I have only one friend in Dullsville. A farm girl, Becky Miller, who is more unpopular than I am."
Page 10: "I wasn't shy like Becky, but I was just as unpopular."
So one page you say how she's even more unpopular than you, and then right in the next page you're at the same level?
At one point she says that she thinks any vampire is sexy. So she thinks all these things are sexy?
And then, the worst one of all...
And then there's Alexander. The "mysterious" boy who lives in the vampire mansion. First off, if you're a vampire, why are you doing the worst job in the world of covering it up? I'm pretty sure if you were a vampire you would want to blend in, not make in known to everyone in the world that you are. And second, Alexander is not mysterious. He's boring. And Raven's only likes him because he's a vampire, it doesn't have anything to do with his personality.
I was thinking if he turned out he wasn’t a vampire it would be funny. But then I realized no matter how it turned out, it would be funny.
Page 12: "Could it be possible that the combination of the two vampire lovers couldn't be captured on film?"
Page 55: “I was ready to make my escape when I felt something I’d never felt before. A presence.”
Page 83: "My head started to spin like in The Exorcist." (So you're a huge horror movie fan and you can't even make subtle references? You have to pick one of the most famous ones and even spell it out for us?)
Page 94: "We both slithered down the iron gate on opposite sides. The iron bars separated us, but not our friendship."
Page 97: "I didn’t look back and made sure not to lose my footing and stumble and fall like in Friday the 13th movies." First all of, it should be the Friday the 13th movies. Second, why only Friday 13th? You mean every slasher movie in existence?
121: "We laughed in the moonlight, and I placed my free arm on his chest and hugged him, as my Gothic mate softly stroked my arm." (Mate? This from the girl who claims she's not even on a date. Does this mean she thinks she's a slut, since apparently she's slept with him but she's never been on a date with him?)
123: "He looked dreamy and gorgeous and somehow lonely. I wanted my Gothic vampire mate to kiss me now. I wanted his mouth on my neck and his soul within mine." (Does this sound a little dirty? "His soul within me...")
Page 150: "'Listen, Raven, I have something to tell you,' she began in a nervous voice that was even more nervous than her normal nervous voice."
Quotes that I like:
Page 18: “He was a bad boy, but he was a rick bad boy, which made him very boring.” (Well, at least Schreiber has the decency to point out her fail characters.)
Page 146-147: "I had gotten totally caught up in the rumor mill, just like all the other Dullsyllvanians. I'm no better than they are, am I? We wear different clothes, but I'm just as shallow as they are." (No duh! You call your brother Nerd Boy even though he hates it, yet you get hurt when people are mean to you about being Gothic. You are a shallow hypocrite!)
A theory I've come up with: This book was written in 2003. Twilight was in 2005. Maybe Meyer read this and thought, "A crappy, crappy, crappy vampire book! I'll improve on it 3%. Anything can be published after this." Maybe she’ll make a werewolf series next! And it might be 4% better than Once in a Full Moon.(less)
While I sit at my computer preparing to write this review, I ask myself one question.
Is my mom ever going to get home so we can go to Taco Bell?
I'm li...moreWhile I sit at my computer preparing to write this review, I ask myself one question.
Is my mom ever going to get home so we can go to Taco Bell?
I'm like a savage animal. I need my Taco Bell. I'm starving. But not for this book. No, no. Never for this book. If I was starving to read this book... well, I'd be a Twilight fan. Because that's what this is; the werewolf version of Twilight. If you look at my rating for Twilight, you'll see that(in my eyes, at least) this is a very, very bad thing.
This book is full of clichés; Celeste is the most popular girl in school, her friends flock around her, she's dating the guy that's handsome "by any girl's standards" and also happens to be the star of the football team, she scoffs at the unpops... that is, until she meets one boy.
And you wanna know why? Is it because he's nice and caring? Because he can get her to see through the stupid, stupid wall the Eastsiders and Westsiders have put up?
If you said either of those things, you're wrong. The former comes later, the latter never comes. The real reason: he's hot. Yup, that's right. She likes him because he's hot. Oh my, that hasn't been done a thousand times before!
So here we have our shallow, stupid, cliché main character. Maybe Brandon, this Westside guy who is apparently the hottest thing ever, will be better.
No such luck. He's also stupid and cliché. His "protect the wildlife" routine may be cute to some girls, but to me it's just stupid. And did I mention cliché? Yes, I'd rather be dating a guy who shoots and kills Bambi to provide for his family than one who freaks out if you dare to hunt. And then eats steak.
And then there are her friends. The attention-seeking Abby; the naive Ivy. Two more ignorant and annoying characters. These people claim to be her friends, yet Celeste is terrified that if she goes out with a Westsider they'll ditch her. Um... what? Tell you what, if my two best friends abandoned me for going out with a boy they didn't like, I wouldn't be scared of hurting they're feelings. I'd be smacking their faces for being fake friends for however many years.
And that's just the start of it- the characters, plot line, and their flaws. The writing itself is just horrendous. I've read some bad books before, but this... I think this tops them all. It's like her paragraphs don't have any structure; and neither to her sentences, while we're on that. It's like she right whatever pops into her head at that instant and doesn't bother with editing. At least with Twilight and Vladimir Todd it was somewhat interesting. This was a piece of crap. Examples of awful writing:
Page 127 "Wow, I thought. That was kind of like when I volunteered at the nursing home. Brandon was putting his grandparents' needs in front of his own." (Because apparently we were too stupid to make that connection- instead she had to point it out to us like we're little five-year-olds.)
Page 130 "I needed to see Brandon and I wouldn't fight it any longer." (GAG! At this part, she's hanging out with her friends and she ditches them to see B.)
Page 266 "I felt a huge pain in my soul whenever Brandon closed the door." (Yes, it does way "whenever.")
Speaking of souls, this lady needs to stop using that word! It feels like if she wants to be as passionate as can be she doesn't use creative words to paint pictures; she just uses "soul." I gazed soulfully in to Brandon's eyes, or I felt it down to my soul. This. Is. Crap. You're a seventeen-year-old that acts like a fourteen-year-old. You did not just feel that kiss with all your soul.
At one point she goes on and on for about 2 pages about being in love with all her soul- but then she asks her sister how she knows she's in love. What?! This girl is so stupid. After her sister tells her she's never been in love Celeste is so surprised... her sister has been with tons of guys, surely at least a few where her one true love? Stop being so ignorant, idiotic main character! You're sister is a whore that sleeps around. What she experiences isn't love; it's lust.
On page 158 she says maybe B's not a werewolf, maybe because she loves him she imagined him that way. I'm way overusing this because the story demands for it, but... what?! You moron. Why would you see him as a beast because your in love? Oh, wait. Because he's not a beast! That's right. This so called "werewolf" turns into this half-man, half-beast "gorgeous" animal! When they made in into a kind of Wolfman, not fully wolf, I thought that was cool and unique. Not that I dislike when they transform all the way, it's just nice to see something different. But then they made him out to be this sexy beast that she can't resist. He grows a goatee!!! Not even all covered in hair. Just long hair, hairy legs, arms, and chest and a goatee. Couldn't even make the werewolf part cool.
And the werewolf part? She needs to get her facts straight. She kept saying "werewolf form" and talked about when he turned into a werewolf on the full moon. News flash: your boyfriends a werewolf. He doesn't turn into a werewolf every now and then, HE IS ONE. Just because it's not a full moon doesn't mean he's human. He's still a werewolf. At one point she says "werewolf form" four times in three paragraphs. Two of the paragraphs are only one sentence long!
And what's with her saying the only cure is a silver bullet? She supposedly researched it and that's the only thing she could find. Well, she must be the most terrible person at research. I pity all her school essays. I meant, just look here and you'll find other ways!
On page 219 Brandon and Celeste are out in the woods, Brandon being in him "werewolf form." He has some steaks roasting, and Celeste wonders where he got them. Only he doesn't know, they were just there. Celeste is horrified- she can't imagine her precious Brandon ripping into Bambi's face and killing and eating him... but it's okay, because Brandon was just joking. She got them out of his grandparents' freezer.
So, let me get this straight. It's bad if he kills the deer and you're not sure if you can date him after that, but as long as someone else kills it, that's okay? Idiot.
So, the moral of this story is, stay away from this book!!! I'm probably going to read the second one because this one ended in a cliffhanger and I just want to see if the author has actually learned something from her mistake of a first book and written an awful book instead of an almost unreadable one. Probably not, but then it's only one more book, not like seven. So we'll see.
The few goods points:
This novel was a detestable scramble of pages thrown together, but I have to point out the few goods points. First, the phone call between Celeste and her friends. I don't remember what page but I wrote it down in my notebook at one of the good ones. Her friends get so confused because Celeste is talking to them and Brandon at the same time. They made me chuckle.(less)
Nightshade was awesome. I read 130 pages in one day. I couldn't put it down. Wolfsbane? Yeah...
I read 5 chapters a day so I could get it done in the week I had left with it from the library. I wish I didn't have to endure that much of it at once.
Pages 1-80: Calla and Shay look like idiots, not figuring even the simplest things out by themselves while Silas(the freakishly racist scholar) tells them about their real history.
If you thought Calla was slow in the first book(and really, sometimes I was wondering that myself), you will think she's a complete moron in this one. There were many times that Silas would say something and I think to myself, "Ah, that's interesting, that means this is this." It won't even be something that I think they're hinting at, it's just something that they explain. Only Calla and Shay don't get it, they need it to be explained further.
And speaking of Shay, he has probably 30% of the brain power he had in the first one. In Nightshade he was figuring stuff out in an instant, knowing things that a normal person wouldn't know. In Wolfsbane he's a complete idiot. He's not quite as slow as Calla, but he's getting there.
Spoilers from this point on!
The thing that drove me crazy the most was the whole Monroe and Ren situation. As soon as they mentioned that Monroe and Ren's mom had a thing, I knew without a doubt that Ren was his son. It wasn't a, "Oh, I bet this is what happened, I'm almost sure!" No, it was, "Gee, could they make that any more obvious?" And what a surprise, I was right! Oh, wait, not a surprise. Because there were no surprises in this book.
And then, even when Emile pretty much says that Monroe is Ren's father, Calla STILL DOESN'T GET IT!!! I wanted to strangle her.
Emile: "He's almost as stupid as his father!" Calla: I didn't get it. Why would Emile be calling himself stupid? It just didn't make sense. And why was he staring at Monroe when he said it?
Now, those aren't exact quotes, but the big picture is the same. Let's see, Monroe says he had a thing with Ren's mom, he's been acting as protective as a father, and Emile implies that Monroe is Ren's father. I wonder what that means? *face-palm*
And then the one time that Ren is shown, he's ten times the douche he was in the first book. I mean, I get that he's messed up, he's been tortured and he lost the girl he loves. But come on. He tries to rape her? No, that's just stupid! I know he went a little too far in Nightshade, but she was kinda asking for it in that one. She was leading him on every time she saw him, only to regret it when she was with her precious Shay. In this book Ren is just a monster who's trying to force her to be his.
And then there's the cover. Why, oh why, does Andrea want us to think that Calla is a stripper so badly? I get the whole wolf-crouching-ready-to-attack thing, but that's not how it comes off. It's more like I'm-a-seductive-chick-who-wants-to-sleep-with-you-for-money.
I'm still gonna read Bloodrose, partly to see if it gets better, but mostly just to finish the series.(less)