Oh god, I hate Chick Lit. I'm only 20 pages in and I'm hating it already. She's so darn "I'm blonde and gay. My life is so full of warmth and happines...moreOh god, I hate Chick Lit. I'm only 20 pages in and I'm hating it already. She's so darn "I'm blonde and gay. My life is so full of warmth and happiness nothing can stop me from singing and dancing around." She wakes up and gets kissed by her overeager blonde mom, hears her favourite song and feels so energized she started singing to it and prancing around her room. And while she prances, she says (direct quote)"I'm not like those over-exuberant girls". Come on ,man, that's a blatant lie.
Even her friends are gay! "omg, you got asked out by NICK. Christenson? SQUEAL!"
GAY. Ugh, this isn't even supposed to be Chick Lit. Oh, and you know what's more? She gets asked out by almost every guy in her school but she's oblivious to it all. And then she goes to agree to going out with a few just for the fun of it. Seriously, dude? And in her heart, she's debating whether to kiss the guy, but is in this shit dilemma because she wants her first time to be special. Hey girl, you're a freaking oxy-moron. If you even give a shit about true relationships and not adolescent infatuations, you wouldn't even be agreeing to go on a date with a guy you barely know just for the freaking "fun" of it! And why are you leading him on anyway? You're giving them hope just to crush it so callously! Ugh.
And I'm not even one-tenth into the book yet. Think I'll continue reading next year. Or maybe not. Ugh.(less)
This review was originally posted on abookaliciousstory.blogspot.com .
7 September 2011: 0.5 stars. All I can think to say to this book now is: "Utter...moreThis review was originally posted on abookaliciousstory.blogspot.com .
7 September 2011: 0.5 stars. All I can think to say to this book now is: "Utter crap. The stove is there, please see yourself there."
So I'm not going to do the review now. Don't want to cuss too much.
8 September 2011: Right, here we go. This book, is utter crap. Have I said that already?
Bilquis "Billi" SanGreal's dad is the head of the Knights Templar, people who police the things that go bump in the night, so to speak. And to officially become one of them, you'll have to pass the Ordeal. True to its name, the Ordeal is a terrifying task which Billi dreads to take.
Her mom died when she was a kid, and her dad has been treating her like so much scum for all these years. The year that Billi had her Ordeal is also the year where her best and only friend, Kay, left for Jerusalem (or was it Isreal...) to train as an Oracle. So Billi was mad to see him return to London a day after her Ordeal because he wasn't there for her when she was downright terrified or when she passed it.
Now, I have very strong feelings about this particular point, and they are not positive strong feelings. You see, it was Billi's aggravating dad that sent him away in the first place, but Billi totally dumped the blame pile on Kay. And she acted like a total tarmagant to him. Which pissed me off royally.
Billi was resentful of her friendless, miserable Templar life. So when handsome Mike Harbinger (Can you believe this shit? Hi, I'm Mr Harbinger. Totally normal last name. Totally.) saved her from an assault from three thugs, her rebel spirit was somehow rekindled and she invited him into her house.
Turns out Mike really is a Harbinger. A big one. The one that scares the shit out of parents just seeing him look at their kids. Or maybe just seeing him from way over the horizon with their binoculars. Lol, end of sarcasm.
Sounds innerestin, don't it? Don't let the summary screw your judgement like it did mine. Cause I'm telling you, this book is not worth the trees that has to be so brutally sawed off.
Firstly: The cover is screwed up. Cause if the protagonist turned into a male in the end, then I didn't read about it cause I did not finish reading this. Too painful to the eyes, head, nose, ears, hands, physique. Anyway, yes, the protagonist is a girl. If it's about the antagonist, then I have to remind them that he only appeared about mid-way thru the book. (I'm talking about the cover with the red cross at the front). The other cover isn't much better anyway. Billi's supposed to look Middle Eastern. That girl suuuuure looks Middle Eastern to me.
Secondly: Billi has a sorry excuse of a romantic relationship. And the way she fell for them, is even more commiserable, and deplorable. One of them, she fell in love with under 10 min of meeting him after a traumatic incident. The second one, she fell in love with a day after she got dumped by the first.
In the synopsis they say that Kay is back demanding her attention with a vengeance right? Turns out that vengeance is only on day one when he hugged her, then after that deemed her unsafe for him (as in, she would be a fatal distraction to him being an Oracle). And the hot guy that she was supposedly dating didn't even reciprocate the feeling. He even manipulated and tried to kill her!
Thirdly: Billi the protagonist seems more of a supporting character.
Templars: Oh no, who is powerful enough to save us? Kay: Me! Templars: Oh no, we are being attacked on all sides, who do we look to? Head of Templars: Me! Templars: Oh no, who's that big bad wolf outside our window? Mr Harbinger: MOI
You see? There're all not about poor old Billi! And look at her name! It's not even a girl's name! *gasp in horror and pity*
But rest assure, Billi often voices her frustration with life throughout the book. Did you miss the keyword? Let me repeat myself. Ahem. "Often".
Fourthly: The entirety of the uneventful-ness of this book is astounding. Really. I'd expected so much more when I read the synopsis. Disappointing, to say the least.
Fifthly: This one's the best. This novel didn't even follow the Bible/Quran correctly. Chadda somehow managed to twist the stories and.. Lol, they were original, and so odd it became an unintended comedy.
This bitching session has been surprisingly draining. Lol. I shall stop here. I want some down time to mourn the loss of my time, and this complete let-down of a book that had so much plot potential.
PS. Sorry if there were a lot of grammer errors. Didn't want to check cause I don't want to renew the irritation that this book had incited in me.(less)
I'm still only at Chapter Two, but I think I'll stop for awhile. I'm not that into "I am a higher being with a predestined mission" then OH! I see a b...moreI'm still only at Chapter Two, but I think I'll stop for awhile. I'm not that into "I am a higher being with a predestined mission" then OH! I see a boy and I'm in love. YA insta-loves just do not cut it for me. And I'm not a fan of Hand's writing style. Then your mom comes along and be all I'm a hundred years old and got her trap shut about her own mission a long time ago and about her divorced husband. Are angels even allowed to procreate with humans? Anyway, I'm not liking it so it'd be on the pile for awhile.
I'm also going to hold off rating it in case my antagonism towards UNEARTHLY stems from my mood-reading tendencies.(less)
I've decided to read this book after my O's and when the fourth instalment is out so that i can really enjoy this book for real.sigh..4 more months! i...moreI've decided to read this book after my O's and when the fourth instalment is out so that i can really enjoy this book for real.sigh..4 more months! i can do this!(less)
Fave part: Halt thought for a few moments, then nodded to himself. “Yes. A few weeks with people closer to his own age will do him good. After all, fo...moreFave part: Halt thought for a few moments, then nodded to himself. “Yes. A few weeks with people closer to his own age will do him good. After all, folk do say I can be a little grim from time to time.”
“You, Halt? Grim? Who could say such a thing?” Gilan said. Halt glanced at him suspiciously. Gilan was, all too obviously, just managing to keep a straight face.
“You know, Gilan,” he said, “sarcasm isn’t the lowest form of wit. It’s not even wit at all.”