Now I lay me down to sleep. I hope to hell my soul keeps. Because, if I shake off this mortal coil before I wake, I’m going to be mighty pissed that t...moreNow I lay me down to sleep. I hope to hell my soul keeps. Because, if I shake off this mortal coil before I wake, I’m going to be mighty pissed that this was the last book that I freaking finished. This is not my legacy.
I can play all Britney and Oops-I-did-it-again, I could use the old adage ‘Fool me once, shame on you….’ Or I could let my horribly low self worth tell you that yes, I am an idiot and could be classified with all those soccer moms wanting an escape with shiny vampires and fallen angels. You choose.
BUT. I will admit… fully admit… that this book sucked donkey balls. Seriously.
Character Profiles: Christian: He’s uber rich, he’s got unruly dark copper-colored hair and intense bright gray eyes. Trust me on this, she mentions it about every 3 pages. He’s also really freaking hot. (her words) He’s also long fingered. I think that comes in handy (heh) later on. He’s got a wounded past that he will not share, he doesn’t like to be touched and he’s extremely jealous. (YAWN) oh. And “Michelangelo’s David has nothing on him.”
Anastasia: (Please, Anastasia? Barf.) She thinks she’s a Plain Jane but she’s gorgeous, she’s never been kissed or anything else and she’s like 22, she is clearly psychotic as she has an ‘inner goddess’ and a ‘subconscious’ that flit around and judge and cower and personally I would like to beat with any of Christian’s implements of pain. She’s a book nerd (I take offense to this) who reads the classics and Tess of the D’Urbervilles is her favorite book (surprise surprise) Her muscles deliciously clench a lot too, she should have that looked at. I think she is even more annoying than Bella. Yes, I did indeed say that.
Usually I can lose myself in the plot and ignore the horrible writing, oh no no, not this time. Maybe because um… IT’S THE SAME LINES from all those previously hyped books! Ok, maybe a tweak here or there, but c’mon… how DUMB desperate do you really think we are?
“Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers.
“It’s wrong. It’s not safe. I’m dangerous, Bella — please, grasp that.” Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.190
“You know it’s really not fair.” I glace down at the formica tabletop, tracing a pattern on it with my index finger, trying to sound nonchalant. “What’s not fair?” “How you disarm people. Women. Me.” “Do I disarm you?” I snort. “All the time.” (Page 458: Location 9546)
“You really shouldn't do that to people," I criticized. "It's hardly fair." "Do what?" "Dazzle them like that - She's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now." He seemed confused. "Oh, come on," I said dubiously." You have to know the effect you have on people." He tilted his head to one side, his eyes were curious. " I dazzle people?" "You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?" He ignored my questions. " Do I dazzle you?" "Frequently," I admitted.”
Yeah, I don’t normally do images, but:
I will also point out that Ms. James is BFF with Thesaurus.com: Profligate, mercurial, epistle, verbose, loquacious, castigate, conscupiscent, largesse, frisson… ay yi yi… yet she has lines like this: “I have never felt as alive as I do now. It’s a thrill to be sitting here beside him. He’s so unpredictable, sexy, smart, and funny. But his moods… oh—and he wants to hurt me.”
“He’s got right under my skin….literally. He smiles and his eyes light up.”
“I melt against him, and my breathing stops as my insides unfurl with longing.”
“My scalp prickles as adrenaline and fury lance through my body, all my worst fears realized.”
“I gape at him, thinking about his tongue on his palate. Hmm, his expert tongue.”
“Anticipation runs bubbling like soda through my veins.”
No, I am not making this up. If this is really what women of my generation are turning to then I need to start some kick ass bitch slapping. If you need BDSM, read the The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. If you need romance, read Outlander or The Bronze Horseman But, please… for the sake of books everywhere. Stop.
The other night I happened to pass by the living room and noticed that my children were watching this show where this freaky guy in black has these tr...more The other night I happened to pass by the living room and noticed that my children were watching this show where this freaky guy in black has these trampy half-dressed assistants and is proceeding to show us, the audience, how magic is faked.
I don’t want my kids being jaded before they hit high school! I want them to think that people can regurgitate multi-colored scarves and be sawed in half or beheaded and still slink away in that sequined bikini thing. Fuck, Houdini died for our sins after all, right? Let us be heathens and revel in the magickal.
The Night Circus seems to be a love/hate book, from what I can tell from my goodread friends anyway. And, it seems that my male friends are the ones leaning towards the hate. I can draw all sorts of conclusions but why bother… it is what it is.
I liked it. I thought it was bewitching. Le Cirque des Rêves… it even sounds pretty. A circus of dreams… not of elephant dung and sketchy drifters.. Nothing like Carnivale which was a Lynchian head fuck. I liked Celia and Marco.. they made a great duo. They created these awesome exhibitions like The Cloud Maze, the Labyrinth, The Wishing Tree, the Ice Garden, the Wunschtraum Clock. These are places and objects that would make my eight year old self squee.
It has all the right ingredients for a fantasy/young adult/romance novel, there are star-crossed lovers, there’s the steampunkish setting, the mystery and whimsy, the heroes never age, it plays off of Shakespeare, there are ‘villains’ of sorts, there are fucked up childhoods, there are kittens…
We even have the purple prose chapters, where you find yourself meandering through the circus, buying caramel apples and feeding your insomnia.
It’s not a ‘great read’ but it is a good read. It’s written to sweep you away and I think that that’s what books should do. Escapism. Gotta love it. And, I will go on believing in magic because otherwise the world is like having sticky fingers without the joy of cotton candy. Blech.
“Not a one of them even has an inkling of the things that are possible in this world, and what’s worse is that none of them would listen if you attempted to enlighten them. They want to believe that magic is nothing but clever deception, because to think it real would keep them up at night, afraid of their own existence.” (less)
What? Did you think we would enjoy a graphic novel version of Outlander from Jamie’s point of view? R...moreYou’ve done us a great disservice, Ms. Gabaldon.
What? Did you think we would enjoy a graphic novel version of Outlander from Jamie’s point of view? Really? We are not Twilight fans, Diana (okay, some of us are, but for exasperated outrage sake, let’s not quibble.) We are a different breed.
We’ve forsaken our literary street cred, we’ve risked justified divorce proceedings, we’ve let precious family moments pass us by. We’ve poured through 6,850 pages, 7,458 if you count the Outlandish Companion!!!
We’ve stood in line at a bookstore and have openly purchased your books. We are COMMITTED (some more so than others.) And, this is what you’ve given us? Oh, how little you think of us.
First of all, THAT IS NOT WHAT JAMIE LOOKS LIKE. I know, I know, you’ve heard this all before…. But this is your fault. You’ve set us on this path and then give us this…
Uh uh… no way.
I read about how you used to write comics for Disney and how it was near and dear and all that crap. Still, you don’t toy with us with Jamie and Claire. Wow. This is how you see Claire? Seriously?
Please give us more credit than this. Please just work on the next book and let us know what happens with Roger and Gem and wee Ian and William and Fergus and of course, our favorite super couple, Clamie….or is it Jaire?
This review is going to be so biased, so subjective, so, some might say, girlie and may even explain why NOW has denied me members...more I can’t lie to you.
This review is going to be so biased, so subjective, so, some might say, girlie and may even explain why NOW has denied me membership. But, I really don’t care. I have 85 days before I turn 40 and I’m going to embrace my Twilight mom-Johnny Depp-Duranie-Shawn Cassidy epicness and just go with it. Consider yourself warned.
Oh My. I have to admit. I had high hopes for my summer reading. I hit the library, grabbed The Complete Milton and To the Lighthouse. But, it wasn’t going to happen--I couldn’t wrap my brain around anything multisyllabic or with small font (Perseus Jackson, I’m looking at you)
Another confession: This book was a 5 star-er before I even cracked open the cover and relished that new book smell. I was a goner after The Hunger Games. I didn’t even review Catching Fire because I still can’t come to terms with myself and my love of these characters.
Is it because of the writing? Not really. Which may get me kicked out of all the nerdy book talks, but what’s new? I can’t change who I am. I love me the young adult books and I especially love me a dysfunctional heroine torn between two really cute guys. (I’m envisioning my friend count dropping off as I type)
I love Katniss. Who wouldn't? She’s compassionate and she's got that independent thinking going on; she kicked ass in both the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell and she still has no clue of the effect that she has on people. (where have I heard that before? Oh, right… Bella…..hmmm)
Really, Katniss/Bella, Bella/Katniss. No denying it. And I’m sucked in. Like most girls, (I say ‘girls’, I’m not dumb… most grow up and get over this) I want to be Katniss. Well, yeah maybe without all the deaths on her conscious and having to be responsible for her family and living in this dystopian society that crushes any hope for a happy life…you know, besides all that. Who wouldn’t want to be her? I mean, she’s strong, beautiful, intelligent, and willful. (Jo March/Lucy Honeychurch/Davey Wexler/Weetzie Bat/Liesel/ Lyra) and she’s got two really hot guys gunning for her--trying to ‘save’ her, protect her… unconditionally loving her.
Oh…. Lots of Gooeynesss….yeah.
So, yes, this might be the start of bodice ripping literature for 12 year old girls everywhere or just the continuation of strong heroines in literature…but you won’t find me preaching to or swaying the masses. I am what I am.
When my eleven year old daughter grabbed this book from my trembling, tear stained hands, I asked her…“Who do you hope Katniss chooses?” She pauses…she’s a tomboy, this type of ‘talk’ unnerves her, but I can see it….. that gleam that this series brings out and I grab at it, pull her in, egg her on… finally, she answers…
“Gale.” She grabs the book and stages her exit… another pause… “But, we’re not making teams or anything.” And then she’s gone.
Okay, I will admit it...I love these books...they're a fast read and they make me giggle like the dickens... is that a phrase? it works for me. I thin...moreOkay, I will admit it...I love these books...they're a fast read and they make me giggle like the dickens... is that a phrase? it works for me. I think Betsey is da bomb... she rocks. My one concern is this: is this the last? I could just look on the website but the intro pretty much makes me feel that this could be it, you know? And so far as last books go, it's a good one. I'm not disappointed in the wrap up, but bummed that it's over. (less)