As Sookie would say: sweet Jesus,shepherd of Judea! what a way to kill a great series...the worst part? I knew it! Holy f^&%, I knew it and I stilAs Sookie would say: sweet Jesus,shepherd of Judea! what a way to kill a great series...the worst part? I knew it! Holy f^&%, I knew it and I still read it. I should have stopped in book # 9 or even 10. Well, I deserved it, a girl should know when to stop! ...more
Note: this is more of a rant than a review. It won’t make sense unless you have read the books. If you loved this one, you better skip it because youNote: this is more of a rant than a review. It won’t make sense unless you have read the books. If you loved this one, you better skip it because you won’t like what I have to say. And there are spoilers.
I’m considering this –writing the review- my random act of kindness of the day, you don’t deserve to blindly get this book without a warning first. If my review can save you the time and money I’ll consider my sacrifice to be worthy. I almost DNF’d it, but I kept reading it as my punishment for no listening to myself; last year I said I would quit the series, and yet, here I am again, so I guess I deserve the pain.
Deadlocked has no plot, none whatsoever. Nor does it have anything else going for it that may keep the reader’s attention. There’s a party where certain powerful vampires are supposed to be, but nothing happens except that a girl’s body is found nearby. No one knows who the dead girl is; she has no connection to the characters or plot (but there’s no plot so that’s okay); and there’s no motive. It just looks like a random vampire killing. Unfortunately, there’s more to it, and I say unfortunately, because when you learn the real reason behind the whole murder and what I guess is the book’s plot, you will feel like killing someone. It’s that stupid.
Then there are the “subplots”, and I use the term loosely because there can’t be subplots without a plot, but I don’t know what else to call this mess. It feels like amateur writing. It’s a bunch of random situations scattered along the book that serve no purpose. There’s no continuity linking the previous books, no character development, and the characterization is so poor the leads sound like different characters -Eric in particular-.
The past four books have destroyed all the things that made this series wonderful. Take for instance Eric and Alcide – two alpha males incredible gorgeous and powerful. Ms. Harris transformed them by making Alcide act like a fool in the last book when out of nowhere he decided to wait naked for Sookie in her bed. And Eric, a thousand-year-old vampire for crying out loud, is suddenly just a pawn in the vampire society waiting in the wings to find someone who really wants him. WTF?
Is this enough? Should I even talk about Sookie? She was just plain stupid. Either she doesn’t know her own mind -and she’s had twelve freaking books to figure it out- or her new job is to mess with our minds. She doesn’t want human’s boyfriends, something that’s been clear since book one, however, she keeps repeating it again and again and again. She loves Eric, doesn’t she? Maybe she doesn’t love him that much? Maybe he is not enough for her? Those are the questions she asks herself (again, in book 12, after years of the reader’s emotional investment in the couple). At this point it’s clear she doesn’t love him, because even knowing the intricate vampire politics, she is reluctant to use the one solution that will guarantee their HEA.
(view spoiler)[Instead, she uses it to save Sam’s life, which shouldn’t be at risk to begin with, because he’s a freaking were much better equipped to protect himself than a mere human. None of the werewolves realize he’s about to be attacked, Sookie, the human, does. Ridiculous.... (hide spoiler)]
Now Sookie feels like her life is void. One of her friend is having babies, Jason is about to get married and everyone is moving on, life is running its course for everyone but her. Or so it seems. The truth is she doesn’t like vampires anymore, or the complication of being associated to the supers (vampires, witches, weres, demons, etc.) so she’s doing nothing to fight for her love. Mark my words: She’s going to end up with Sam, having his babies and baking pies!
Anyway, I think that I figured out why all the books in this series have the word dead on the title. It isn’t because they’re about vampires, it’s because you feel dead inside after reading them. It fooled me several times at the very beginning of the series, but from the second half of it, until this last book, I certainty felt like I was dying a bit inside. What a waste of time, money and words. I don’t feel mad, just profoundly disappointed. It just shows how bad you can fuck something up. We should make a new grade, a special one for fucked up series, and I think it should be 0.5. The only redeeming quality is that you can finally see an end to it. So there!
P.S. If you still give this book a go, then join the club (its official name is “why do I keep reading this crap?”). I’m talking about it with my therapist (Brie), because there must be something wrong with me, I knew what I was getting into but I’m still surprised by how bad it was.
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I honestly think that Sophie Kinsella is the queen of Chick Lit. She creates these amazing characters and the funniest stories, so when I've Got YourI honestly think that Sophie Kinsella is the queen of Chick Lit. She creates these amazing characters and the funniest stories, so when I've Got Your Number came out the first thing I did after finishing my happy-dance was buy it. It was worth every penny.
Poppy -I love this name- is freaking out. She lost her engagement ring when she was at a party and she gives her number to everyone at the hotel so they can get in touch once they find it. But then she gets mugged, so she finds herself phoneless and desperate. That’s when she finds a phone in a trash can and decides to keep it for herself. But with the phone comes Sam Roxton (it used to belong to his assistant), a business man that after some convincing, agrees to let her keep it with the condition that she forwards every message and email to him.
The scene when they meet each other is hilarious, so try to read it when you are in a place where laughing out loud isn’t frowned upon –I was at the doctor’s-. My only warning is that you have to stretch your imagination a bit because in the real world when you find a corporative phone, you can’t and won’t use it freely, and you won’t become a PA over the weekend without really being part of the company.
Warning aside, the story is very fresh. It reflects well what’s going on now with the internet and all those phones and tablets. We no longer have to be present to have a relationship with someone, now we can have relationships through our mobile devices without having to actually meet. So even though our leads only communicate through emails and calls, they end up developing a relationship that starts as a reluctant friendship and ends in romance.
I don’t want to give a lot away with this review but something has to be said about Magnus and “the parents”. He is Poppy’s fiancé, an obnoxious guy that is not exactly bad, just selfish and full of insecurities, overly concerned with being or looking smart in his academic world (he is a college professor). This is obviously a poor match for a girl like Poppy who is kind and a little bit silly, but after six months of dating they don’t really know each other so well. His parents are quite a handful and once you meet them you get some insight into why Magnus is the way he is. I’m kind of ashamed to say that the academic world is filled with people like that, it was a cartoonish portrayal and yet it ringed true to me.
This book is sooo funny that you won’t believe it. It starts amazing, it loses a little of its charm in the middle but the ending is good. It’s not as good as Can You Keep a Secret? But that book was perfect so the standard is a hard one to meet. Poppy reminded me of Becky from the Shopaholic Series, but Kinsella heroines are a bit of a trademark so I’m not surprised by the similarities.
I have to confess that part of my love for the book is, in some extent, a consequence of me being such a fan of Sophie's work, but if you’re a fan of chick lit I’m positive that you’ll love it too. Funny, refreshing and invigorating, that’s what it is.