Sometimes I ask myself why I continue to read these novels. I can't help it. I'm in binge mode and I can't shut it off!!!
CRACK IS WHACK.
It's like twilSometimes I ask myself why I continue to read these novels. I can't help it. I'm in binge mode and I can't shut it off!!!
CRACK IS WHACK.
It's like twilight all over again. I've been sucked into the bloody train wreck, except this time the story replays itself over and over and over again. Because this entire series is like a paint-by-number monstrosity. Lately every novel is the same, just a different main plot that's really not all that different. Yet I can't help myself. It's crack.
Predictions before I read this novel:
*Stephanie will continue to suck ass at collecting skips, continuing to fall for the ole line of, "Sure, I'll come with you. Just let me get/do...first." and then lets them jump out a back window. Seriously. How many times can one person fall for this before realizing criminals are not dumb enough to walk hand-in-hand with you back to jail? It's impossible for anyone to be this naïve after the two-hundredth time. Furthermore, she'll continue to take Lulu with her on these apprehensions, so then we'll have two stupid people who can't learn making this doubly-pathetic.
*Her gun will continue to take up residence in her cookie jar, because why on earth would a cute little lady with no muscle or fight training need one of those to apprehend drug dealers, rapists or good ole felons who have no desire to return to jail? The bullets? She can't even remember if she has any.
*On-again, off-again boytoy Morelli will continue this open relationship with Stephanie because his possessiveness only makes her shut him off sexually. His dog Bob will eat another pair of her panties.
*Stephanie will continue to lust over Ranger and continually find her way into his bed on her off-nights with Morelli. Ranger will continue to ask for Stephanie for a woman's take on his security accounts as a ploy to lure her into his bedroom...which is incredibly easy these days.
*Stephanie's POS car will continue to blow up, be stolen or have garbage trucks flatten them, so of course she'll be forced to drive the '53 Buick or add to her ever-growing tab for one of Ranger's vehicles that she's slowly paying off in sexual favors.
*Morelli and Ranger will continue to pretend Stephanie's not really screwing both of them sometimes in the same day.
*For every page Lulu is on, she will overact to the tiniest thing and immediately need to fill her belly with a smorgasbord of Cluck-in-the-bucket, doughnuts, fast food, etc. because food has to be entering her mouth at all times.
*Stephanie's lush of a mother will continue to set her up with losers because she hasn't married. Stephanie's dad will continue to be oblivious to everything and simply grunt his way through meals.
*Grandma Mazur will cause a scene at the funeral home because the coffin lid has been nailed down on a disgusting, smelly body. I suspect she'll shoot at the nails with the massive gun in her tote, because everyone but Stephanie loves a big gun. Even the grandmas.
*Morelli's Grandma Bella will give Stephanie the eye again and place yet another curse. Maybe she'll curse Stephanie with some common sense and she'll actually be able to apprehend somebody in this novel all by herself and not need Ranger's help.
and last but not least... *Every character in the book besides Morelli and Ranger will use the phrase "...on account of..." because people really say that shitty line ten million times in their lifetime. Right? On account of they've got nothing better to say.