Fantastic read. Further is shaping my new view that I, and all of us, don't actually know how we would react and behave in many different situations.Fantastic read. Further is shaping my new view that I, and all of us, don't actually know how we would react and behave in many different situations. The slightest, seemingly-innocuous variable can have profound effects on the behavioral paths we take.
Key Takeaways * We don't know the 'real value' of things. We take cues by comparisons of things we think are similar 'enough'. * Supply and demand explains only a fraction of what really goes on in economic decisionmaking. * The only way to make sure we don’t give in to temptation is to make it impossible before the temptation arises.
In his own words, Ariely summarizes the work nicely:
“we usually think of ourselves as sitting the driver's seat, with ultimate control over the decisions we made and the direction our life takes; but, alas, this perception has more to do with our desires-with how we want to view ourselves-than with reality”
However, he continues,
We can actively improve on our irrational behaviors. Start by becoming aware of our vulnerabilities. If you're planning on a purchase, ask yourself: - How did that habit begin? - What amount of pleasure will you be getting out of it? - Is the pleasure as much as you thought you would get? - Could you cut back a little and better spend the remaining money on something else? Train yourself to question your repeated behaviors.
Other interesting tidbits: -The "endowment effect": when we own something, we begin to value it more than other people do. -The discussion of social and marketplace norms is also worth mentioning. -Mere contemplation of standards affects our ethical behavior.
Some final quotes:
“Standard economics assumes that we are rational... But, as the results presented in this book (and others) show, we are far less rational in our decision making... Our irrational behaviors arevneither random nor senseless- they are systematic and predictable. We all make the same types of mistakes over and over, because of he basic wiring of our brains." pg. 239
“Ownership is not limited to material things. It can also apply to points of view. Once we take ownership of an idea — whether it’s about politics or sports — what do we do? We love it perhaps more than we should. We prize it more than it is worth. And most frequently, we have trouble letting go of it because we can’t stand the idea of its loss. What are we left with then? An ideology — rigid and unyielding.” ― Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions ...more
Not a self-help book. Think more along the lines of "personable coach that will feel what you're feeling alongside you and then validate those feelingNot a self-help book. Think more along the lines of "personable coach that will feel what you're feeling alongside you and then validate those feelings"
Anyway, it was a bit simple. Kinda mushy and touchy-feely in parts. But so authentic. Set aside the research, and let's just talk kind of book. I enjoyed it. It has more than a few great insights. Some of the standouts:
"The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become." 16-17
3 conditions for hope: 1. An ability to set realistic goals 2. And ability to figure out how to achieve our goals, including developing alternatives 3. A belief in ourselves
"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging" 39
"The problem is that when we don't care at all what people think and we're immune to hurt, we're also ineffective at connecting... staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection." 53
"Advertising is an over $200 billion a year industry. We are each exposed to over 3000 ads a day. Yet, remarkably, most of us believe we are not influenced by advertising. Ads sell a great deal more than products. They sell values, images, and concepts of success and worth, love and sexuality, popularity and normalcy. They tell us who we are and who we should be." (Quoting Jean Kilbourne, p68-69)
"the more entrenched and reactive we are about an issue, the more we need to investigate our responses." 95
"When we don't give ourselves permission to be free, we rarely tolerate that freedom in others." -123
But, as usual, my favorite part came in the form of a quote: "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." - Anna Quindlen...more
I was surprised by how impressed I was by this book. It started off like it was going to be just another rah-rah business book, but this book has deptI was surprised by how impressed I was by this book. It started off like it was going to be just another rah-rah business book, but this book has depth. From ways to project charisma, to how to remember names and even resources like the different types of jokes, there is a lot of great content here.
This book is for anyone who wants to see the sales and persuasion techniques that are well-thought through.
Here is a great quote, though not even typical of the best stuff in here, it just one of the first I have transcribed: "Neophyte sales people believe that the buyer is rewarding them by giving them an order. If you think that way, you are probably communicating meeting this to your prospects. Superstar salespeople project that the buyer is fortunate to have them there to solve their problems and serve them better."...more
Extremely illuminating. Opened up a whole new world and several subcultures I was completely ignorant of. A book about expertise and how memory works,Extremely illuminating. Opened up a whole new world and several subcultures I was completely ignorant of. A book about expertise and how memory works, Foer makes an enjoyable, 100% readable venture on the mind and how, in his words, "we all have remarkable capacities asleep inside of us. If only we bothered ourselves to awaken them."
Besides all the amazing memory tips, I got more than a few things out of this book:
1. Be more mindful (remembering only happens if you take notice) [So much of remembering happens at the moment of encoding, because we only tend to remember what we pay attention to. 159] "attention is a prerequisite to memory" 176. Have to be the type of person who remembers to remember. 2. The more you know, the easier it is to know more. Because of more possible associations (baker-Baker paradox), which is why experts are expert: they have increased the size of their 'memory web' by which they can catch new information. In other words, It takes knowledge to gain knowledge (baseball example--experts vs less avid fans). You can't have understanding without facts. 3. Ok plateaus/deliberate practice. Practice makes perfect? Why not improve typing when 'practice' hours per day? Because learning goes in three stages (cognitive, associative stage, and autonomous stage)When you want to get good at something, how you spend your time practicing is far more important than the amount of time you spend. 4. Creativity is about taking many disparate old associations (memories) and creating something novel, fresh, unique in the sense that those associations could only be combined because of your unique assembly of past memories.
Eye-opening. This is a book worth digesting. How many worthwhile thoughts have gone unthought and connections unmade because we have not fully developed our memories? ...more
I liked this book. It was my second read, and it was a lot more basic than what I gave it credit for. Nonetheless, it has some good questions to ask yI liked this book. It was my second read, and it was a lot more basic than what I gave it credit for. Nonetheless, it has some good questions to ask yourself. Two in particular stood out:
"What is your essence? What are you really about?" and, relatedly,
What is something that you have to do, or you'll burn up? Something that you think is costing the world because it does not exist in the right quality?...more
Nothing really stood out to me in this book. It was one guy's experience, just relating what happened to him. Not really that helpful to me, as far asNothing really stood out to me in this book. It was one guy's experience, just relating what happened to him. Not really that helpful to me, as far as value-added. Skip....more
Awesome read. I wish I had time to share my fav parts. Here is what I can offer:
This may come as a surprise to you, but failure is an illusion. No oneAwesome read. I wish I had time to share my fav parts. Here is what I can offer:
This may come as a surprise to you, but failure is an illusion. No one ever failed at anything. Everything you do produces a result. If you're trying to learn how to catch a football and someone throws it to you and you drop it, you haven't failed. You simply produced a result. The real question is what you do with the result that you produce. Do you leave, and moan about being a football feel your, or do you say, throw it again, until ultimately you're catching football? Failure is a judgement. It's just an opinion. It comes from your fears, which can be eliminated by love. Love for yourself. Love for what you do. Love for others. Love for your planet. When you have love within you, your cannot survive. Think of the message in this ancient wisdom: "Fear knocked at the door. Love answered and no one was there."
... Be enthusiastic about all that you do. Have that passion with the awareness that the word enthusiasm literally means "the God (enthos) within (iasm)". The passion that you feel is God inside of you back in you to take the risk and be your own person. I found that perceived wrists are not risk it all once you transcend your fears and let love and self respect in. When you produce results that others laugh at, you're also stir to laughter. When you respect yourself, stumbling allows you to laugh at yourself as an occasional Stumbler. When you love and respect yourself, someone's disapproval is not something you fear and avoid.
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing and doing it very well, ever lose his self respect. George Bernard Shaw
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live Johann Wolfgang von Goethe...more
I actually moderately liked this book, but there was a lot of personal opinion and ranting, which cut into my experience significantly. He also quotedI actually moderately liked this book, but there was a lot of personal opinion and ranting, which cut into my experience significantly. He also quoted some great material. The first and last are my favorite.
"Latter-day Saints must demonstrate to the world that the restoration of gospel principles in our day is an advantage over the present forms of religion. We must show others that one of the most visible product of this work is the impact that the gospel has on marriage and family life. Stable individuals produce stable marriages, and they in turn produce stable families who produce stable individuals. Quality home life is our best magnet to attract others to the gospel plan. President Spencer W. Kimball said, "Our success... as a church will largely be determined by how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home" (Ensign, May 1979, p. 83). President Gordon B. Hinckley pleaded: "Let us work together, every one of us, to build the kingdom, to tell our neighbors, to help the missionaries, to live the kind of lives which will cause other people to ask about us. That will be the greatest thing that we can do." (At Quito, Ecuador, August 12, 1997; Church News, February 7, 1988, p.2)
Mr. Wallace: “Since World War II, we seem to be splintering; we seem to be becoming more selfish, more self-absorbed, less community minded. Families don’t seem to mean so much, and morality has gone to hell [his expression] in a handbasket. Why?”
Response: “The basic failure is in our homes. Parents haven’t measured up to their responsibilities. It is evident. A nation will rise no higher than the strength of its homes. If you want to reform a nation, you begin with families, with parents who teach their children principles and values that are positive and affirmative and will lead them to worthwhile endeavors. That is the basic failure that has taken place in America. And we are making a tremendous effort to bring about greater solidarity in families. Parents have no greater responsibility in this world than the bringing up of their children in the right way, and they will have no greater satisfaction as the years pass than to see those children grow in integrity and honesty and make something of their lives. …” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, November 1996, pp. 48-49).
"What you sincerely in your heart believe of Christ will determine what you are, will largely determine what your acts will be." ("Gospel Ideals" Improvement Era, 1953, p.34)...more
It gave some good ideas, but there was way too much fluff. A lot of the book felt like it was stretching for the sake of publishing promises "100 diffIt gave some good ideas, but there was way too much fluff. A lot of the book felt like it was stretching for the sake of publishing promises "100 different fields covered!" etc. That being said, you could find 30 pages of solid advice....more
Perfectly fits the bill for a 20 something that has never been explicitly taught the basics of money management. I feel completely confident that I amPerfectly fits the bill for a 20 something that has never been explicitly taught the basics of money management. I feel completely confident that I am no longer a complete moron when it comes to my finances. Highly recommended....more
A delightful book. Read it in two sittings, and it pretty much had me the whole time. It reminded me of my vulnerability, something that I have unconsA delightful book. Read it in two sittings, and it pretty much had me the whole time. It reminded me of my vulnerability, something that I have unconsciously suppressed in my current job. It gave me a window into several experiences and types of relationships I will likely never have, but most importantly, it did for me what books do best: it triggered in me a wide range of emotions while reminding me that our human condition is lovable and full of meaning.
And now, some of my favorite parts, devoid of context for you, but full of meaning for me:
"Some people don't understand promises when they make them," I said. Isaac shot me a look. "Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love *is. Love is keeping the promise anyway." -Page undocumented
P.123 That's why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival version of the word pedophile? You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are."
P.135 "Kinda," I said. But it wasn't that. The truth was, I didn't want to Isaac him. "To be fair to Monica," I said, "what you did to her wasn't very nice either." "What'd I do to her?" he asked, defensive. "You know, going blind and everything." "But that's not my fault," Isaac said. I'm not saying it was your *fault. I'm saying it wasn't *nice."
182 "This boy appears to have some kind of developmental delay"
188 "Lidewij, play 'Bomfalleralla' immediately."
223 I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed.
With the last quotes, on pages 216 and 262, being too much of a spoiler to quote... but totally worth the read getting there.