The writing was bad. Bad. So bad. Flinchingly bad. Flinchingly is not even a word (according to my spell check), but I don't even care - that's how fl...moreThe writing was bad. Bad. So bad. Flinchingly bad. Flinchingly is not even a word (according to my spell check), but I don't even care - that's how flinchingly bad the writing is in this book... It has seeped into my review.
Someone told the writers that PRESENT TENSE would be the best way to write a novel - "you know, man, so it would read like everything is totally happening right now!" It was the novel's biggest downfall. Instead of the story unfolding smoothly or organically, it clunks and rattles and sucks...sucks hard. Third-person present tense. Terrible.
Do you ever find that, sometimes when you're reading a good book, the words disappear from your perception - you find yourself in the story, surrounded by imagery. Ahhh, good books...
When you read this piece of shit, you find yourself surrounded by terrible sentences that you can't shake from your vision: in your mind's eye, this "story" looks like a pantomime projected onto a curtain in a corner of the room while terrible, giant present-tense sentences fly from the ceiling, whacking you on the head as they bounce off the walls.
Why two stars? You have to understand how invested I am in The Walking Dead franchise to understand this. I've read fifteen, fifteen!, of the Walking Dead collected comic book trade paperbacks, most of which I have waited anxiously for months to be released. I have watched all of the TV episodes in real-time, realtime! not "when I get the chance" off the DVR... hell, I have six people over every Sunday night for Dinner-Beer-Zombiez. In short, I've been a fan of Rick Grimes and the rest of Robert Kirkman's Walking Dead Universe for years now.
There was NO CHANCE this book was flying under my radar. I am a completist, and this book satiated my need for "more, more, more" (see Rhiannon's Dune Prequels Collection for more terrible books I was forced by my own fandom to enjoy). Now, I know from whence the character of The Governor came. Phew!(less)
To describe a novel teeming with werewolves, shape-shifters, and other supernatural beings lurking in the shadows of our modern cities, playing by the...moreTo describe a novel teeming with werewolves, shape-shifters, and other supernatural beings lurking in the shadows of our modern cities, playing by their own rules, and heading secret councils... Is to unfortunately describe an overdone trend that is seriously making me YAWN. This genre, in its essence, is supposed to excite and thrill. Fairies and vampires? Hybrid wolf-people? Immortality? Mutant healing abilities? These are elements of the strange and impossible. Instead, this type of story is being done-to-(un?)death, causing the genre to collapse under the weight of millions of writhing, desperate teenage girls looking for their next Cullen-fix.
So, move over Stephenie Meyer and third-rate paranormal-romanciers. Enter Lish McBride - she'll put an end to your melodrama. Quick warning: The story is not really original. Meh! I feel like this book was not influenced by the slew of sparkly purple-and-black Twilight-and-friends that are crowding up the urban fantasy genre. Rather than dreaming of all the ways one could consummate hot-vampire-sex, and then creating a shoddy book series out of the wet-dream, Lish McBride steps away from that scene, and her influences peek-out from a more sophisticated, and snarky, perspective. She creates characters, and her characters are far less like Mary Sues and Gary Stus. And so far, she's written a book that seems cemented against inconsistencies, which has the ideal pace and scope to offer the hope of a great series.
This book reminds me of Neil Gaiman (a little American Gods, more Anansi Boys, a touch of Good Omens), Alan Ball's True Blood renditions of the Sookie Stackhouse story, the way-too-short-lived (oh!) TV show Dead Like Me (waffles!), a touch of Nick Hornby... you know, AWESOME things.
The author clearly enjoys 1) good music 2) irony 3) sensitive man-boys 4) ya lit. I can get behind that!
This book offers 1) an escape from the boring, post-adolescent world of full-time crap-jobs 2) vegetarians contemplating the ethics of blood sacrifice 3) fresh, angry little lawn gnomes with tiny, pointy shovel-weapons 4) sexually-harassing 70-year-old witch neighbors 5) thankfully-not-too-graphic cage sex 6) zombie pandas 7) pantless satyrs 8) a talking cat, like the one in Sabrina The Teenage Witch.
So, this novel was fun, fun, fun.
Ladies, beware: McBride employs the "Women in Refrigerators" trope early on in the book. (someone explains it better than I can here: Tropes Vs. Women). However, the great thing about Lish McBride is (view spoiler)[She also turns the "Dead Men Defrosting Solution" (just watch that video, or wiki it, or whatever) on its head (pun in-freakin-tended!) by restoring the female character by the story's end (hide spoiler)]. Nice save!
Waiting for more! I think I have to wait a whole frickin year for the next one! Can someone do something about that?["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>(less)