I don't really know why I put "realistic fiction" as one of my tags, considering everything about this book is totally unbelievable. Here's just a few...moreI don't really know why I put "realistic fiction" as one of my tags, considering everything about this book is totally unbelievable. Here's just a few:
(1)Someone as boring and ordinary as Ana attracting the attention of someone like Christian (probably a wish fulfillment fantasy on the author's part).
(2)A 27-year-old billionare. Born to a crack whore. Yeah.
(3)Ana as a literature student. *dies laughiing*
(4) The sex. As in, Ana going from a scared virgin to a sex goddess IN ONE NIGHT.
(5) The lack of plot. No, seriously. The "conflict" I assume, would be the contract, but nothing ever actually BECOMES of it. It's always there in the background, but it's not like Ana and Christian don't have sex becaue of it, or not do the things they aren't supposed to do until it's signed.
(6) Ana NOT a submissive person.
(7) Ana and Christian in love. It's like those paranormal young adult romances, where the heroine SAYS she loves the hero, but never talks about anything other than his looks, and sometimes his charm. Never his personality, which is usually either nonexistent or freakishly dominant. As for Christian - why would he love Ana? What makes her different, exactly? Any sane person would have reacted to the situation the way Ana had, with the exception of GETTING THE HELL OUTTA THERE IMMEDIATELY. Consequently:
(8) Ana and Christian falling in love in 3 weeks, when they do nothing but screw and fight.
(9) Ana as a 21-year-old woman. She has no clue what the subconscious is, for crying out loud.
(10) The ending. So contrived, and so unnecessary - you just KNOW it won't last, consisdering this is a trilogy.
(11) That this book is even published. I wouldn't say this is the worst book I've ever read, but it's the worst written. It's scary bad. My brain is sore.
I know I should give this one star like every other self respecting person out there, but in a disgusting, sordid kind of way, it IS entertaining. (less)
This is – literally – the worst (published) book I have ever read in my life. Every time I so much as think about this book, or this series in general...moreThis is – literally – the worst (published) book I have ever read in my life. Every time I so much as think about this book, or this series in general, I suddenly have the urge to take a nine iron to an old lady, or set a kitten on fire or something else just as random and pointless that won’t actually solve my hatred towards this piece of crap but will help release some of my anger because Zoey is only a fictional character and I can’t actually kill her will a dull axe. *deep breath* It’s times like these where unpublished authors know they stand a chance: if shit like this cannot only be published but actually become incredibly popular, you know you could write a bestseller in a COMA.
There’s no need to mention the writing is atrocious; anybody who picks it up will tell you that. Every single character has a voice that’s like nails on a chalkboard. You know Janice, from “Friends”? Yeah, that’s the voice I give to Zoey. Totally fits, doesn’t it? Everything about this book screams juvenile, and I’m not talking about that preteen way which is fine, if this book is written for that age group, it’s just plain stupid. Sixteen year olds should be insulted by how they’re portrayed in this, and if they aren’t, and actually relate to these “characters”, they need to be terminated immediately. Everything about this is one big stereotype, from the gays to the blacks to the Southern girl, and funnily enough, Zoey thinks she’s better than all of them, and she’s too stupid to live. She thinks a normally constructed sentence is “amazing vocab”.
Every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence annoyed me. The showing, not telling. The unrealistic dialogue. Zoey. The fucking Twins. The shallow relationships (Zoey has best friends and a guy saying how he cares about her “from his heart” in ONE NIGHT?). Zoey. The religion. The vampires that are not vampires, but witches. Zoey. The “messages”. Everything. Zoey. Honestly, you’d think with two people writing this, there’s two brains involved, which should mean that at some point, there should have been at least ONE good example of writing: a piece of dialogue, some description, some semi-decent prose that didn’t have me wanting to kill the friend who leant this to me.
And can I just mention how much of a Harry Potter rip off this is? You’ve got the “protagonist” (haha) with a mark on her forehead, making her the Chosen One, and is sent off to some fancy boarding school for magical people like her. Because of this special mark, everyone knows instantly who she is, having a polarizing effect – some love her, others hate her. Then you’ve got the platinum blonde who’s rich and whines to her dad about how she’s not loved enough who becomes the “protagonist’s” archrival on the first day of school for no reason, other than jealousy of this newfound popularity someone else has. You’ve got the goofy, quirky sidekicks. You’ve got the “protagonist” suddenly being the favourite of the Headmistress and form a special relationship. There are all kinds of cool classes with the odd teachers. Please, this isn’t a Twilight rip off – just because it has vampires doesn’t make it a Twilight rip off. This is so Harry Potter I can’t believe nobody has mentioned it, except Harry Potter is – y’know – amazing. Stephenie Meyer is not as to J.K. Rowling as the Casts are not to Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer is Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters, Dickens, Tolstoy and anyone else you can think of compared to this garbage.
For a long time I judged people’s intelligence on a yard stick, the yard stick being whether or not you liked this book. Then I embarrassingly found out two of my very nice, smart friends actually like this, so huh, who knew. I’m still unwavering though – this is the worst, stupidest book ever written. I’m actually kind of embarrassed to have it on my bookshelf, because people will actually know I’ve read it. Just for the record, it was given to me, and I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings. Not my fault I stumbled on this. In fact, she gave several more to me, and I actually stopped mid-book. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
What the hell IS this? Did Amanda Hocking miss out on the sixth grade English when they taught the basic outline of a story? There needs to be a begin...moreWhat the hell IS this? Did Amanda Hocking miss out on the sixth grade English when they taught the basic outline of a story? There needs to be a beginning ... a middle ... a CLIMAX ... and an end. This wasn’t even a story, it was just a random bunch of non - events.
The most annoying part of this “book” was the complete lack of progress or pacing. The beginning actually wasn’t bad; Wendy was kidnapped by the Vittra and I actually thought the whole book was going to be like this, but no. Once Wendy gets back home, nothing happens at all. There are endless conversations in this book that lead nowhere, talking about what they could do, what they should do, what they want to do, what they plan to do but there is NO ACTION AT ALL. Every time the plot could have gone somewhere, it backed out – the Chancellor suggests an attack, but they say no, they research ways to loophole out of the Vitrra peace agreement, but they don’t find anything. If you aren’t planning on going anywhere with something, then don’t bring it up! Don’t just have pointless, repetitive conversations just to make it novel length!
Speaking of pointless, repetitive conversations, the info dumps annoyed the hell out of me. There would be whole chapters devoted to back story. And for some reason, after every conversation or event, Wendy would feel the need to repeat exactly what happened over again, once again, to what, add page length?
This is the first and last time I ever try an indie author. There’s a reason this “writer” isn’t published except apparently, because of her success, she IS getting published now. (Upon reflection, swearing off all indie authors because of one author is a ridiculous statement to make. Not being traditionally published doesn't really mean you can't write). I don’t know how she became so popular, as everything about her screams “amateur.” I read the epilogue of the final book (I couldn’t bear to read another book of this) just to see how it ends. And ...
(SPOILER OF FINAL BOOK)
... she doesn’t end up with Finn? Because he didn’t fight for her? Wha? I thought it was clear that Wendy understood what had to be done for the sake of the kingdom, and that she could NOT be with him. She explains all the reasons why they can’t be together over and over and over to the reader, yet she still gets pissed? At the beginning of the first book, I actually kind of like Wendy because she was so refreshing. She was very independent, snarky and she actually punched a girl in the face. Not what I’m used to in heroines. But, as usual, she turned out like all the rest being clingy, selfish, whiny and above all, STUPID. (less)