... I don't even know, man. It took me months to read this book but I sporadically liked it. The experience went something like this:
"Alright, here we... I don't even know, man. It took me months to read this book but I sporadically liked it. The experience went something like this:
"Alright, here we go, the last vampire book I will ever read ... Hmm, this is a weird format ... Whoa ... Okay, is this seriously the format? ... Urgh, shut up, Lestat.........................OMG shut up Louis, you big baby............ .........*angstangstangst*.......................................................................zzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz... WTF? ..... Argh, thank fuck he's gone ... Never mind ... Huh, this is getting pretty good! ... Europe <3....... Oookay, this is getting creepy ... Reeeaaaally creepy ... LOVE this ... Deliciously twisted ... DRAMA! ... *wants Armand and Louis to just get it on already* ... NOOOOOO! .....zzzZZZZZzzzz... Wait, what? ... *ends* I wonder if the movie is better."
Spoiler alert: The movie is certainly not better. It's one of the stupidest movies I had ever seen, and I have seen a movie about a psychic, sentient tire that roles around the desert blowing people up. I was feeling second-hand embarrassment for Brad and Tom. Especially Tom.
I was right about one thing though: this is the last vampire book I will ever read. Besides Dracula (kinda) and Spike (Spike >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Angel), I think I just need to throw in the towel and just admit that I fucking hate vampires. ...more
This book would have been more appropriately titled “City of Angst”. I mean really, what kind of crap was this? I knew there’d have to be relationshipThis book would have been more appropriately titled “City of Angst”. I mean really, what kind of crap was this? I knew there’d have to be relationship trouble because there were all these couples Cassie had to deal with, but it was TOO MUCH and COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY . Who’ve we got again? We’ve got:
- Clary and Jace: Who seem to have some pseudo-epic romance. Yes, those two weeks it took you to fall in love is comparable to the months/years it takes for people to ACTUALLY get to know each other. And yes Clary, claiming that you care more about your pretty boyfriend than curing world disease or hunger is romantic, not so unbelievably selfish and stupid that it shouldn’t even be put into this shallow teen book. Do they have anything in common? Really? Do they ever have fun? Because it seems all this “love” story consists of is making out, crying and cheesy speeches. That isn’t a relationship, and shouldn’t be deemed “epic”. - The Simon/Isabelle/Maia triangle: Probably the least angst-y, but still ridiculous. It was so out of character for Simon to two-time, it had to have only been put there for one reason: for filler. It was so obvious who he’d pick, anyway. Still, there were moments it was quite amusing. - Maia and Jordan: For crying out loud, this is getting out of control. What did this add? What was even the point of these two characters, anyhow? They were a waste of space. - Alec and Magnus: Alec had never really been a front runner character, but I knew his personality well enough from the first three books to know he was not this whiny or immature. Once again, pointless drama to show that no couple is perfect, everyone has problems. Yes. You’ve shown us that Cassie. Repeatedly. It was just so hackneyed because you knew Alec wasn’t like this; he’s much more of the quiet, mature type. Although it did bring up a pretty valid concern in their relationship: Magnus is immortal and Alec is not. It’ll be interesting to see how that’ll play out.
The only romance that wasn’t insane was between Jocelyn and Luke, but y’know, they’re ADULTS, so that wouldn’t be any fun. After all that crazy, it’s amazing there was any plot at all. It was a weak one, but there was one, something to do with demon babies and Lilith. It was clear this book was made solely on making more money, because this was such a different story, having nothing to do with the Mortal Instruments anymore, even though this book is still under that series. It was still somewhat entertaining – as always, there were a few witty scenes and quips – but this book wasn’t relevant. All the characters became whiny little self-absorbed bitches – their people were dying, there are babies being kidnapped, and they didn’t even really seem to care all that much. All that stuff took a backseat to relationship drama. To be honest, I’m being generous with the three stars but despite my hatred for romance, Simon being the main character helped matters a bit, because his sole purpose wasn’t having a girlfriend. Luckily for me, the next book doesn’t come out for quite some time. Maybe I can forget how eye-roll inducing this was by then. ...more
This is – literally – the worst (published) book I have ever read in my life. Every time I so much as think about this book, or this series in generalThis is – literally – the worst (published) book I have ever read in my life. Every time I so much as think about this book, or this series in general, I suddenly have the urge to take a nine iron to an old lady, or set a kitten on fire or something else just as random and pointless that won’t actually solve my hatred towards this piece of crap but will help release some of my anger because Zoey is only a fictional character and I can’t actually kill her will a dull axe. *deep breath* It’s times like these where unpublished authors know they stand a chance: if shit like this cannot only be published but actually become incredibly popular, you know you could write a bestseller in a COMA.
There’s no need to mention the writing is atrocious; anybody who picks it up will tell you that. Every single character has a voice that’s like nails on a chalkboard. You know Janice, from “Friends”? Yeah, that’s the voice I give to Zoey. Totally fits, doesn’t it? Everything about this book screams juvenile, and I’m not talking about that preteen way which is fine, if this book is written for that age group, it’s just plain stupid. Sixteen year olds should be insulted by how they’re portrayed in this, and if they aren’t, and actually relate to these “characters”, they need to be terminated immediately. Everything about this is one big stereotype, from the gay people to the black people to the Southern girl, and funnily enough, Zoey thinks she’s better than all of them, and she’s too stupid to live. She thinks a normally constructed sentence is “amazing vocab”.
Every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence annoyed me. The showing, not telling. The unrealistic dialogue. Zoey. The fucking Twins. The shallow relationships (Zoey has best friends and a guy saying how he cares about her “from his heart” in ONE NIGHT?). Zoey. The religion. The vampires that are not vampires, but witches. Zoey. The “messages”. Everything. Zoey. Honestly, you’d think with two people writing this, there’s two brains involved, which should mean that at some point, there should have been at least ONE good example of writing: a piece of dialogue, some description, some semi-decent prose that didn’t have me wanting to kill the friend who leant this to me.
And can I just mention how much of a Harry Potter rip off this is? You’ve got the “protagonist” (haha) with a mark on her forehead, making her the Chosen One, and is sent off to some fancy boarding school for magical people like her. Because of this special mark, everyone knows instantly who she is, having a polarizing effect – some love her, others hate her. Then you’ve got the platinum blonde who’s rich and whines to her dad about how she’s not loved enough who becomes the “protagonist’s” archrival on the first day of school for no reason, other than jealousy of this newfound popularity someone else has. You’ve got the goofy, quirky sidekicks. You’ve got the “protagonist” suddenly being the favourite of the Headmistress and form a special relationship. There are all kinds of cool classes with the odd teachers. Please, this isn’t a Twilight rip off – just because it has vampires doesn’t make it a Twilight rip off. This is so Harry Potter I can’t believe nobody has mentioned it, except Harry Potter is – y’know – amazing. Stephenie Meyer is not as to J.K. Rowling as the Casts are not to Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer is Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters, Dickens, Tolstoy and anyone else you can think of compared to this garbage.
For a long time I judged people’s intelligence on a yard stick, the yard stick being whether or not you liked this book. Then I embarrassingly found out two of my very nice, smart friends actually like this, so huh, who knew. I’m still unwavering though – this is the worst, stupidest book ever written. I’m actually kind of embarrassed to have it on my bookshelf, because people will actually know I’ve read it. Just for the record, it was given to me, and I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings. Not my fault I stumbled on this. In fact, she gave several more to me, and I actually stopped mid-book. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
The blurb says: Mason would die to be with Rose... Well that's just silly. If you die to be with someone, you wouldn't be able to be with them, causeThe blurb says: Mason would die to be with Rose... Well that's just silly. If you die to be with someone, you wouldn't be able to be with them, cause you'd be dead! Plus, like everything else in this book, that's such a melodramatic statement.
I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what the big deal over this series is. It’s recommended all over the place, the star average for this is really good, and it’s really popular – maybe I got my hopes up too high? I read the first one, was indifferent to it, and then I heard about this series everywhere. It was a series that got better as it went along. There was character development. The heroine was multi-dimensional. Good, strong romance. Interesting characters. So, after a year, I picked up the second one to see if I had missed something and ... eh.
On one hand, I do see some positives, like the vampire lore. Most paranormal teen books are painfully simplistic, and I’m glad to say this book does have some world building going on here. I know nothing of vampires, so when I was researching fictional creatures and came across the types of vampires that were in these books, I was quite impressed. Using real mythology to work in your story and giving your own twist on it in a modern setting? Not bad, Mead. If I’m being painfully honest, I thought she just made those words (Strigoi/Dhampir etc) up completely. But hey, come on, some authors don’t even know what happens to vampires when they walk into the sun, not naming any names.
And .... that’s pretty much what I liked.
I have to laugh when I hear the characters of Vampire Academy being called complex or “deep” – I mean really. Come on. I get what the attraction to Rose is – big mouthed, outgoing, snarky – the exact opposite of the whiny dish mop YA heroines we’re used to, amirite? No, let’s instead make her ANOTHER stereotype and now she’s oh-so-original! Don’t actually bother to make her a three dimensional character, that would be SO MUCH WORK. Just make her the exact opposite of the dish mop heroine, and teens will totally fall for it because she’s so speshul and different – except they DO fall for it! URGH. Rose is just so exaggerated I don’t even really hate her; there’s not enough of her to feel much of anything for. She’s just too obnoxious, too loud, too self-absorbed to really be taken seriously. And to top it off, she’s kind of an idiot. This girl is some kind of guardian for a PRINCESS and she’s about as slow as a heard of turtles racing through peanut butter. Mead has a hard time planning surprises well, because nothing comes off nearly as shocking as it is intended because any semi-discerning reader is smarter than Rose. The secondary characters are all right I guess – I like the witty remarks and all, although none of them make me laugh out loud. Still, it’s nice to have a group of teenagers speaking like teenagers for a change without quoting Latin and Shakespeare. Except Dmitri, who’s about as fun as watching “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” without a bathroom break.
Speaking of which, this series is soooo predictable. Can someone please tell me why all teen authors do this? I wouldn’t mind a love triangle, I really wouldn’t, if there was actually a point or at the very least a surprise along the way. If we have three interesting, complex characters, and you like all three of them, then a love triangle can make you ache for them. If you have a hard time choosing between the two boys (or girls, I suppose, but you never see a girl-boy-girl love triangle) then that’s a sign you did it RIGHT. If you don’t know who the girl is going to pick because both boys are so awesome and she sincerely loves them both, then you’re doing it right. WHY DOES NO AUTHOR EVEN ATTEMPT TO DO THIS? Answer: because that would actually require some tough decision making.
How do YA authors REALLY write love triangles? You’ve got the main girl, the soul mate, and the poor other guy who you know is going to either end up miserable and alone, dead, or hooking up with some secondary character you barely even remember the name of by the end. I haven’t even read the rest of the series and I don’t have to – I KNOW Rose will end up with Dmitri. I know it the way I knew Bella would end up with Edward, Clary would end up with Jace, Ever would end up with Damen, Luce would end up with Daniel, Tessa with Will (view spoiler)[ Having finished The Infernal Devices, I'm eating my words on this one and saying the love triangle was actually fantastically done. However, I still firmly, wholeheartedly believe that if Tessa had been forced to woman up and CHOOSE one (misunderstandings and wedding engagements aside), she would have chosen Will. (hide spoiler)], Donna with Xan ... just a few off the top of my head (some of these series aren’t done and I have no intention on reading them, but trust me, I KNOW – I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG YET). Even the Hunger Games, which on most days I think is a good series, was painfully obvious with the love triangle – did Gale ever really have a chance? The author can never help but hinting at who her favourite is, and when you know who the favourite is, you’ve got who the girl will end up with. When you know who ends up together, it’s boring. It makes the angst pointless and annoying to read because you know everything is going to end up alright. She’ll end up with the lame, mysterious, brooding guy, because she always does. Screw the guy with a personality and sense of humour.
(Sidenote: Have you noticed the readers always seem to like the underdog guy? I wonder why that is. Maybe the author is so busy trying to make everyone love the brooding guy, and she isn’t trying to make the other guy swoon-worthy, that his personality comes out easier. Because Brooding Guy never seems to have a personality.)
The writing is terrible by the way. I know, I know, it’s written in the narration of a rather dimwitted teenage girl, but it’s still irritating. The prologue, explaining the story so far was so corny I was grimacing the whole way through. It gets a bit better after that but everything is explained – unfortunately – through Rose, so naturally, it’s all telling, no showing, explaining the most obvious things, the vocabulary never extending past that of a sixth grader and ruining sentimental moments with cheesy, misplaced comments only a stupid teenage girl would say.
Look, it’s not the worst book in the world (silly, “Marked” is!) but I can’t slog through what, four more of these? I know what’s going to happen in the end, so I don’t see much of a point in going through hackneyed, predictable trials of these bland characters when I KNOW. Will Rose and her mother reconnect? Will Rose's father be revealed? Will Lissa end up a powerful royal? Which boy will Rose end up with? Will good conquer over darkness?
Gee, I have NO FRIGGIN IDEA. ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
**spoiler alert** This’ll just be a review for the whole Mortal Instruments trilogy:
I’m a little biased about these books, so I’ll just try and put th**spoiler alert** This’ll just be a review for the whole Mortal Instruments trilogy:
I’m a little biased about these books, so I’ll just try and put this into perspective – when I was 13/14 I was one of those rabid fangirls that adored Cassandra Claire’s fanfiction. *hangs head* I know, I know – but they were addictive. You know what I’m talking about, it’s that same reason all those haters of Twilight bitch and moan through all four books but you know what? They keep reading, because it has that *quality*, and they can’t stop. Except Cassandra Claire’s fanfiction did it even better. Anyways, when I found out she had gotten published, the fangirl in me squeed for joy – surely a published book would be far better than a fanfiction, right?
Look, the Mortal Instruments weren’t bad. In fact, they’re far better than most young adult crap that’s out there – it has an actual plot for one thing. That’s probably why its average is so high. The problem is though, I know Cassandra Clare can do so much better. Yes, I am fully aware that she plagiarized the fanfiction, and that’s not a good thing. It was a pretty pathetic and stupid thing to do, but I figured she had enough talent to stand on her own, and maybe learn from the mistake. The thing is though, she’s leaning on it. She’s using practically the same name, and because I know that fanfiction so well, I can tell she’s using the same characters, and a similar plot.
Jace is obviously Draco, so much so that it kind of annoyed me. I wouldn’t have minded if she had made him as awesome as Draco in the fanfiction, but he was sort of a diluted version. While Draco was hilarious, Jace was kinda funny, and where Draco was tortured, Jace sort of had that annoying-teen-angst thing down, and while Draco was classy and intelligent, Jace was ... not. The rest were the same – they were all shells of the Harry Potter characters she created, and were all lot more clichéd and predictable. I knew Valentine so well because he was so much like Voldemort. Isabelle was sort of like Rhysenn.
It’s really not that bad though. The pace is pretty fast, and there’s a lot of magic, which I love. While I knew from the moment I found out Jocelyn had been married to Valentine that he had to be Clary’s father, it was still a fun ride. The banter was funny and all those interesting places really painted a nice visual picture in my head. There seemed to be a good balance between the social drama and the action stuff. It just ... doesn’t have the addictive-ness.
Maybe, and I know this is probably false hope, that Cassie is just writing a cardboard story to gain a fanbase, and once she’s in, she’ll go back to that angsty goodness. Anyway, I realize there’s nothing actually wrong with using characters you’ve used in unpublished fanfiction, so I’m giving it an unbiased four stars. ...more
I probably only enjoyed this as much as I did because I was in the middle of midterms and needed something brainless because honestly, this was awful I probably only enjoyed this as much as I did because I was in the middle of midterms and needed something brainless because honestly, this was awful. I read on the author’s website that she wrote this in like fourteen days or something and I believe it. This almost meets the criteria of what not to do for starting writers. There were several things that annoyed me:
-The show-don’t-tell rule definitely didn’t apply here. I think after the protagonist’s first meeting with the love interest she actually says “there was a connection between us”. The whole book was like this.
-The main character was completely unlikable. She had no redeeming qualities whatsoever – she sleeps in class and is failing (and doesn’t care), and just sits around and watches tv all day, waiting for a text message from a boy she likes, completely abandoning her family for him. When she finds out she’s going to live with this family, she’s thrilled because now she’ll never have to work or go to college. The love interest is pretty much the same: he’s got all eternity, and all he wants to do is play video games.
-This is a pet peeve of mine, but I just despise modern references in books. I mean really, she uses modern bands, labels and tells us in extraneous detail what she’s wearing – there is no timelessness in this at all. In a few years, people will laugh at this.
-I’m a little bit dense with these things, but I could not tell, until Alice and Jack actually said out loud, whether or not Alice was romantically interested in him. She kept saying “I’m not attracted to him”, they weren’t dating, there was no internal monologue of her pining for him or anything, so it was really confusing. Only until the kissing scene happened did I know for sure.
- The simplistic writing style really got on my nerves. I guess the POV was a (rather vapid) teenage girl but it was just so ... plain.
-Jack’s family IS the Cullens.
I probably won’t continue on with this series, but it was a nice break from Darwin, Shakespeare and philosophy essays. ...more