Really interesting. Definitely adds to the discussion on attachment parenting, which mostly centers around infants. This includes infants but naturallReally interesting. Definitely adds to the discussion on attachment parenting, which mostly centers around infants. This includes infants but naturally is much more geared to kids old enough to actually interact with their peers.
If you liked the book Unconditional Parenting or How to Talk so your Kids will Listen, you'll find this adds another dimension to the discussion in those books. And, oddly enough, it also adds another dimension to the discussion of the so-called "tiger mom": many of the controversial 'no's' that the author of Tiger Mom lists in her book are activities that, Gordon Neufeld argues, can create a peer-orientation in your child if not conducted with moderation in the context of good attachment relationships with adults.
Reading this to understand my almost 4-year-olds tantrums better, and help her avoid them. Main thesis is that kids who are prone to be explosive usuaReading this to understand my almost 4-year-olds tantrums better, and help her avoid them. Main thesis is that kids who are prone to be explosive usually lack certain skills (which might include emotion regulation, cognitive flexibility, as well as social, executive and language processing skills). These skills are needed to be able to avoid exploding (or imploding), and critically, they can be taught, using a method called Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS). Lots of good examples of how to do this. Very helpful, as How To Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk also recommends problem solving, but doesn't go into as much detail. Worth a shot!...more
Did not like the author's writing style. The conceit of the fictitious case study kids was distracting rather than helpful. I did come away with the cDid not like the author's writing style. The conceit of the fictitious case study kids was distracting rather than helpful. I did come away with the conviction that kids who are behaving out of control want their parents to help them get back to a state of being in control. This helps me to have more empathy for my 3-year old when she is in the middle of a meltdown, and convinces me I need to be better about helping her get back to equilibrium after a tantrum. ...more
William Crain reminds us of some of the characteristics of children's development that have fallen by the wayside as the push for academic achievementWilliam Crain reminds us of some of the characteristics of children's development that have fallen by the wayside as the push for academic achievement (as measured by standardized tests) has become stronger and stronger. The child's desire to be connected with nature, to use her imagination, and to produce art and poetry is valued so much less in our schools than the three R's. As a result they are in danger of disappearing from the curriculum completely, especially in schools with limited resources. Yet these activities are precisely what researchers in the last two centuries have observed to be at the very heart of childhood.
The assumption that our children's future is more important than childhood itself has become so commonplace that it is difficult to shake it even for parents who are committed to a parenting style that is child-centered. This book challenges the assumption that academic achievement is a goal unto itself, rather than a by-product of kids who are happy, well-loved, and allowed to grow at their own pace. It will remain a powerful reminder for parents committed to a child-centered parenting style of what childhood is for in the first place. ...more
This book was recommended to me about a year ago by a friend of mine while our two daughters had a playdate. I finally got around to reading it afterThis book was recommended to me about a year ago by a friend of mine while our two daughters had a playdate. I finally got around to reading it after going to six different stores at Christmas trying to find a belt for my daughter. She needed one because girls' pants these days are so low-cut that her underwear shows every time she bends over. Unfortunately, the only ones I could find were covered in pink and gold glitter and/or rhinestones. This is great if you are Dolly Parton, but not if you are a four-year old girl. We finally ended up buying a simple boys belt which reverses from brown to black leather.
I think the title captures this book well: dispatches from the frontlines of the new girlie-girl culture. In other words, this is a journalist reporting on the way that the Disney Princess marketing scheme and others like it have changed the cultural climate for many girls and their families. If you are dismayed by the increasing tide of pink and purple stuff marketed to girls, you will want to ready this book. But because Peggy Orenstein is also a mother of a young girl, there is also quite a bit of her own personal reaction to these changes in the book. So this ends up being a detailed description of the problem (if you see it that way), along with some personal anecdotes of how this played out in Orenstein's family.
The book left me wanting a bit more guidance on how to deal with the princess juggernaut, but I don't think that's it's intended purpose, and Orenstein probably isn't the person to give that advice, anyway. Part of the value of this book is that it points out how complicated it is to parent your daughter through some of these situations; there really aren't many easy answers. Still, I feel better informed having read this book, and I feel that the information here should help my husband and I find a middle way as we raise our two young daughters....more
Rereading this obsessive-compulsive classic to refresh my memory. I don't think we'll be introducing solids for a few more months, but it helps to beRereading this obsessive-compulsive classic to refresh my memory. I don't think we'll be introducing solids for a few more months, but it helps to be prepared....more