If you're looking for the perfect book about arm condoms, turkey shit-offs, and cleaning deer - this is it. Even if you are not aware that you are looIf you're looking for the perfect book about arm condoms, turkey shit-offs, and cleaning deer - this is it. Even if you are not aware that you are looking for such a book - this is it. If you see it in a book shop and you are wondering whether it is the book for you (or not) don't put it back on the shelf without memorising the cover. Look now. Look at that mouse. Can you even say 'not today' to that mouse? If you don't find the mouse totally charming you probably aren't creative (and strange) enough to enjoy this book the way it deserves to be savoured and enjoyed.
Now be prepared, there are some unexpected side effects from reading this book.
1. I hurt myself laughing. Seriously, one of my floating ribs is poking into my skin. I have a lump. It hurts. This probably won't happen to you, since I have bad spinal curvature and puny bones to begin with. You could hurt yourself though if you drink hot tea while reading, or you might laugh so hard you spray hot tea on your companion. Or you might choke if like me you sometimes snack while reading. You might fall off the bed and roll around laughing even while you curse. You could get hurt.
2. I'd like the statistics on the number of people who had to stop to go take a crap in the middle of reading "The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door".
3. You will probably look up several really weird things you never thought of googling before, and we are blaming the author for the spike in searches involving horse enemas and water squirrels.
4. The tragic childhood loss of your beloved pet will seem less tragic in comparison to what has happened and can happen to other pets making your story just a little ho hum.
5. You might feel liberated enough to laugh as a first response to the awful, terrible, things that happen in your daily life and start planning how they will fit into your memoir....more