**spoilers for Wuthering Heights, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn**
"From the Pride and Prejudice-like coming together through a series...more**spoilers for Wuthering Heights, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn**
"From the Pride and Prejudice-like coming together through a series of misunderstandings and misinterpretations of feelings keeping the pair apart in Twilight, to the Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers story and close-to-tragic moment in New Moon, to the love triangle in Eclipse and its parallels to Wuthering Heights, the Twilight saga is an homage to these great love stories and works of literature." http://www.squidoo.com/bellaswan
Wuthering Heights is nothing like Eclipse. It's not a love triangle and it's certainly not romantic. It's not a love triangle if you know the girl only wants one of the two boys who want her, it’s a love triangle if she’s torn between the two of them. And what’s romantic about a pair of lovers who betray and torture each other with their selfishness?
But here’s the interesting thing – Meyer casts the boys the wrong way around. Either that or she’s never read Wuthering Heights. In her version, Bella (Cathy) didn't know Edward (Heathcliff) in her childhood, she knew Jacob (Edgar). She doesn't marry Jacob (Edgar), she marries Edward (Heathcliff). But in Wuthering Heights, Cathy (Bella) marries handsome Edgar (Jacob) over soulmate Heathcliff (Edward). Therefore, Edward is really Edgar, and Jacob is really Heathcliff.
However, in Eclipse, Edwards says he identifies with Heathcliff. A physically abusive, emotionally abusive, mentally abusive madman. An uneducated loaf who, because the 'love of his life' marries someone else, deigns to destroy the current generation by running off with Cathy's sister in law and inflicts misery on the next generation by keeping Cathy’s nephew Hareton uneducated and as a servant, keeping his own son Linton miserable and ill without a doctor in attendance, and kidnapping Cathy’s daughter Catherine, physically abusing her, and forcing her to marry Linton so he can control all of her wealth as well as the wealth he stole off her uncle, Hindley (Hareton's father). Not only that, but this brute of a ‘gentleman’ tortures animals, as well. I’ll let Nelly provide the proof:
My surprise and perplexity were great on discovering, by touch more than vision, Miss Isabella’s springer, Fanny, suspended by a handkerchief, and nearly at its last gasp. I quickly released the animal… I repeatedly caught the beat of horses’ feet galloping at some distance… though it was a strange sound, in that place, at two o’clock in the morning.
This is the man Edward identifies with. A man who would hang an innocent and helpless dog and then run off with its empty-headed mistress at two o’clock in the morning. That’s where his creeper tendencies came from. No doubt he crept into Isabella’s bedroom and watched her sleep, as well!
Yeah, makes perfect sense. Heathcliff is NOT a desirable character, yet Edward identifies with him.
Does that leave Bella to identify with Cathy? A spoiled little bitch who forgoes the real love of her life to marry some guy "because he is handsome"? Does that mean that Bella doesn't really love Edward, she just can't see past his sparkly emo facade to the real simpering weakling underneath? The kind of person who only appeals to Cathy/Bella because he is rich and handsome?
Then I put her through the following catechism: for a girl of twenty-two it was not injudicious. ‘Why do you love him, Miss Cathy?’ ‘Nonsense, I do—that’s sufficient.’ ‘By no means; you must say why?’ ‘Well, because he is handsome, and pleasant to be with.’ ‘Bad!’ was my commentary. ‘And because he is young and cheerful.’ ‘Bad, still.’ ‘And because he loves me.’ ‘Indifferent, coming there.’ ‘And he will be rich, and I shall like to be the greatest woman of the neighbourhood, and I shall be proud of having such a husband.’
Good reasons to marry a man? I should think not. But what's worse, here are Cathy's reasons as to why she loves Edgar Linton:
‘… And now, say how you love him?’ ‘As everybody loves—You’re silly, Nelly.’ ‘Not at all—Answer.’ ‘I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches, and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions, and him entirely and altogether. There now!’ ‘And why?’ ‘Nay; you are making a jest of it: it is exceedingly ill-natured! It’s no jest to me!’ said the young lady, scowling, and turning her face to the fire. ‘I’m very far from jesting, Miss Catherine,’ I replied. ‘You love Mr. Edgar because he is handsome, and young, and cheerful, and rich, and loves you. The last, however, goes for nothing: you would love him without that, probably; and with it you wouldn’t, unless he possessed the four former attractions.’ ‘No, to be sure not: I should only pity him—hate him, perhaps, if he were ugly, and a clown.’
Yep, sounds like Bella to me. If Edward was The Hunchback of Notre Dame she wouldn’t look twice at him, and if he was the deformed Phantom of the Opera (not the Gerard Butler version, but the real version where he’s a 50 year old man and she’s a woman of twenty) (now that’s a real love triangle) there is not a snowflake’s chance in Hell that she’s consider anyone other than the handsome, rich young man that sweeps her off her feet, even if he is busy grooming her for an abusive relationship.
Here’s a small snippet that reminds me of Bella’s relationship with Edward and his sister Alice.
She seemed almost over-fond of Mr. Linton; and even to his sister she showed plenty of affection.
Here’s another segment I found that reminds me off Bella’s depression in New Moon:
Catherine had seasons of gloom and silence now and then: they were respected with sympathising silence by her husband (see: Bella’s father, Charlie), who ascribed them to an alteration in her constitution, produced by her perilous illness (see: perilous break-up); as she was never subject to depression of spirits before.
And here’s a section I found amusing:
‘If I were only sure it would kill him,’ she interrupted, ‘I’d kill myself directly!
Well, we’re all aware that Bella was only one step away from suicide in New Moon just to get Edward’s attention.
And here’s the funniest part of the whole book, which reflects exactly why Bella’s a Mary-Sue: because she’s based on the most horrendous stuck-up snobby spoiled bitch-masquerading-as-a-heroine in all of classic literature:
“I thought, though everybody hated and despised each other, they could not avoid loving me.’
BAHAHA! No one can avoid loving Bella. Despite being not particularly good-looking or interesting, she instantly gains the attention of all the boys at her new school and also the one boy who is disinterested in every other girl even when they throw themselves at him (like Bella’s kind of bitchy friend and that vampire chick from the Denali clan).
But here's the rub. With Edward playing the role of Edgar, Jacob - the boy who comes off second best in the Eclipse love triangle, plays the role of Heathcliff, the man who comes off second best in the Wuthering Heights love triangle. Heathcliff is an angry force of nature that inflicts misery on two generations of the Earnshaw-Linton family. Jacob has anger issues, worse even than Edward does. Jacob is definitely Heathcliff. This is where the comparison between the two gets iffy, and anyone who’s read Wuthering Heights would know it’s not a good comparison to Eclipse. Cathy has Edgar’s baby, and Bella has Edward’s. Heathcliff runs away when the baby is born, and so does Jacob. Yet over and over again, the story shows how Cathy loves Heathcliff more than Edgar Linton, and Heathcliff loves Cathy more than anything else in the world. The two torture each other with their love. Cathy’s love for Edgar pales in comparison. She clearly only wants Heathcliff, yet she's a selfish stuck up spoiled little cow and she marries Edgar for a whole bunch of shallow reasons. And here's what Cathy has to say about her love for Heathcliff:
"My love for [Edgar] Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
And who does Bella end up with?
Now we know for a fact that Edward hasn’t read the book, and I cast aspersions on whether Meyer did as well, or if she didn’t understand it. It’s not a complex story. It’s blindingly obvious. How could Meyer have got it so wrong?
So: who’s read Wuthering Heights? What do you think of the comparison to Eclipse?
This is a direct quote from Seth, Stephenie Meyer's brother and the person who runs her website.
"In an attempt to keep the books clean and not make yo...moreThis is a direct quote from Seth, Stephenie Meyer's brother and the person who runs her website.
"In an attempt to keep the books clean and not make young girls think about things that they don't need to think about, no other book mentioned anything about reproductive systems."
Hear that, girls?
You're not supposed to think about things.
Especially not sex.
Don't think about sex. Ever.
Or you will be thinking about things you shouldn't be thinking about.
Don't think about boys. Thinking about boys leads to thinking about holding hands and kissing, which leads to thinking about sex, which is bad.
Don't wonder about how babies are made and don't ever wonder where you came from. Clearly you popped out of your mother's vajayjay the instant your parents thought about having a child, like in The Sims 1. No sex involved.
Don't wonder if your parents still have sex. (Newsflash: most parents keep having sex after their kids are born).
And girls, especially don't think about other girls in the way you should be thinking about boys. I mean... don't think about boys in that way, either. If you must think about the thing you're not supposed to think about, it should be about boys. But still, don't think about it.
In fact, don't even read these books, because they include boys, and a girl who tries to seduce a boy who - like all good boys - won't do that thing you're not allowed to think about with her. Because he's the perfect boy. But don't think about him.
Because you don't need to think about sex. You don't need to be prepared. You don't need to know about protection. You don't need to know that some boys only want you for the feelings the magic baby-maker between your legs gives him. This whole 'sex' thing? It just happens. Magically. And it doesn't hurt and you'll never regret it and you'll be happy and content forever.
But, uh... don't think about that. You don't need to know about it.
And when that baby pops out nine months later (not like a week, which we have been led to believe) and you don't turn into a vampire, don't be disappointed. When you struggle to be a young single mum with a baby that actually takes work to look after and you're not an OMGAMAZINGGODDESSVAMPIRE supermodel, remember: you're not supposed to think about it.
And for god's sake, don't read these books and then fantasise about having sex with the boy, because even though Meyer wrote him to be the 'perfect' boy, and he's based on one of her own wet dreams, and she has been quoted as saying if Edward or Jacob showed up on her doorstep she would leave her loving husband and three children for either one of them... remember: SEX IS BAD. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.(less)
**spoiler alert** I don't want to be giving this 2 stars simply because it wasn't my thing. Because I've read urban fantasy before, I've read some vam...more**spoiler alert** I don't want to be giving this 2 stars simply because it wasn't my thing. Because I've read urban fantasy before, I've read some vampire books before (even though they are SO not my thing, Vampire Academy is my favourite YA series), I literally grew up watching Charmed and I write fantasy myself. So I can deal with all the elements needed to make this novel. It's not 2 stars simply becuase it's not my thing, although after reading the first book I will not be continuing because it is just SO not my thing.
The reason I picked it up was because I liked the idea of a strong witch being the lead, not your normal damsel in distress or kick-butt super-powered woman. I liked the idea of just an average women being the lead. Which is why I was disappointed when it turns out she's really quite an important and special person, and part of one of the courts fighting it out in this book.
I also didn't particularly like Grieve. I certainly didn't like whenever Cicely was around the vampires. I certainly didn't like it how when one of the vampires fed from her and made her orgasm, she was totally offended that he didn't fall madly in love with her. Like... what? Bitch, you're just food to him. Get over yourself.
AND ANOTHER TIME CICELY RANDOMLY MENTIONS, ABOUT SOME GUY SHE'S NEVER SHOWN AN ATTRACTION TO, HOW IF GRIEVE WEREN'T AROUND SHE'D TOTALLY BE FUCKING THAT GUY. Yes, that needed to be in caps. Because WHAT. THE. FUCK. I don't care that she's a sexually empowered twenty-something. Either you only want Grieve and it's a true forever love because you're destined to be together or not. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, BITCH. Be faithful.
The writing itself was largely fine. Some sentences didn't quite make sense because they were missing a word, but I could figure out which word was missing. Other times I was frustrated by the complete lack of description. I don't want a tale of "Well I woke up and opened my eyes and breathed and blinked and got out of bed and brushed my hair and had a shower and washed my hair"... you get it. I don't want a play by play, but I do think it is important to mention important things like when doors lock, open, or close, when someone is embraced and kissed and they're not just having a tongue suddenly rammed down their throat form someone who was previously standing five feet away. When someone is standing in the kitchen and then in the next sentence they leap into their car. Is the car in the fucking kitchen? It's just lazy writing trying to get a sense of urgency that fails.
The premise was the most interesting thing: vampiric Fae. Fae that have been vamped up and are more powerful than both. It sounded cool. but we saw way less of these Fae than anything else, and when we saw Grieve it was mostly to have sex.
Cecily was also supposed to be this witch, right, that taught herself, right, yet I couldn't figure out if she was especially gifted or not. I couldn't figure out just how powerful she was, and in the end, some goddess gave her a present for no reason other than she wanted to. Cecily didn't deserve the gift, and from what I read, she deserved to lose her withcy gifts as well from under-use before the novel started. BUT she apparently was a good witch. BUT she made everyone else do all the magic stuff (warding, spells etc), because she didn't know it. SO what DOES Cecily do?
In the end, all the politics and the deals made are totally wasted anyway, because Cecily takes her tiny little five-person army (including a ghost dreamwalking guy who showed up randomly for no reason) to go and rescue Peyton, and they manage it pretty OK. So the entire novel is OMG WE MUST SAVE PEYTON and trying to figure out where she is and how to do it, and Cecily makes a deal witht he vamps that includes one of them drinking from her even though they don't do anything for her and she is meant to spy on the Indigo Court even though she's not Indigo, she's just part Fae, and then they go in by themselves with no help from the vampires anyway. So why was the book so long???
I do believe the ending was well written. I got the climax, it was very climax-y, and there are unresolved issues that will be resolved later in the series. I won't be reading on because I thought it was going to be more witches and less vampires and were-folk.(less)
**spoiler alert** I simply cannot get over how abysmally disappointed I was with this book. I bought it because I saw the cover and I knew it would bu...more**spoiler alert** I simply cannot get over how abysmally disappointed I was with this book. I bought it because I saw the cover and I knew it would bug me forever if I didn't give it a shot. It's a beautiful cover, possibly the most beautiful I have ever seen. The back cover blurb suggested that there was an mysterious boy that Luce, the protagonist, would want to investigate with possible hope of romance. OK. Truth time. Daniel Grigori is a dick. Lucinda Price is the most overrated heroine ever. She's frustratingly passive, a doormat that her new friends walk all over. She's supposed to be at a reform school that allows facial piercing yet will electronically shock their students for no reason, has practically NO adult supervision, and is surrounded by security cameras that are easily circumnavigated. The reform school is a gloomy, poor, falling-down place, set next to a graveyard. Ooooh, spooky! Yeah, right. I have no idea who the hell would build a reform school like that. Also, Luce is put in there because she was present at the death of her first kind-of-boyfriend, who spontaneously combusted when she kissed him. It doesn't make sense as to why Luce ended up in a reform school and not a pysch ward. We're not given explanations as to why the other kids are there, either (except for Penn, who attends because her father worked there). The kids Luce makes friends with don't even seem bad in any way, just typically teenagers, even though the majority of them are fallen angels. Some of them are GOOD fallen angels and some of them are BAD fallen angels (called demons). Now, I'm not religious, but even I know that there is no such thing as good fallen angels. Those who fell threw in their lot with Satan. Maybe they're hoping God will allow them back into Heaven if they behave now that they're fallen. I don't think so. We are given NO explanation of how the boyfriend BBQ fire starts, whether Luce had something to do with it (oh, it's hinted that she was kind of responsible, but it never happens to any other boy she gets close to and it's never explained exactly what happened) and don't even get me started on how pissed off I am about the SECOND fire that randomly starts in the library as Luce and her weird friend Penn are stalking Daniel. Luce is so superficial, she falls head over heels for a dick who obviously hates her, yet he also ends up falling in love with her because it's fate. Meanwhile there's hottie bad boy Cam who is supposed to confuse her and we KNOW is going to be the villain, it's that obvious, but I was damn well rooting that Luce end up with him. The secondary villain, Miss Sophia, is given absolutely NO foreshadowing for her abrupt betrayal, and her part in the story doesn't even make sense. After the whole book preparing us that Luce and Daniel being together was a very Bad Idea, yet also telling us the two were damned well meant to be, it was very anti-climactic when nothing happened when they kissed. And there was no explanation as to WHY nothing happened. All of Luce's past lives exploded on account of being brought up religiously, and this life's Luce, who is agnostic, doesn't explode into a fiery pinnacle when she learns too quickly what Daniel is and how she fits in with it. Luce is kept in the dark, and as the reader, we are kept in the dark as well. It's a very frustrating experience. Sense making = zero. I expected so much more.(less)
If anyone finds any of the relationships in this book romantic, I think you need to go and stick a toilet brush in...moreI love this book.
It's not a romance.
If anyone finds any of the relationships in this book romantic, I think you need to go and stick a toilet brush in your ear and clean out your brain, because there is nothing romantic about people who physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse each other for teh lulz.
I love this book because it's not a romance. I love this book because the characters are all selfish and self-destructive, and completely ruin the lives of those they purport to love. It's a story of two incredibly selfish people who can't just love each other but have to hurt everyone around them as well. I think the destruction they cause from their actions is really cool. They're like little hurricanes sweeping the secondary characters along for the ride. There's so much drama confined in two houses on the Yorkshire moors that it leaves me wondering why doesn't this book explode from sheer awesomeness.
People seem to think Wuthering Heights is some kind of great love story about the biggest and greatest love triangle ever. That's funny, because it's obvious Cathy doesn't really love Edgar. If you want a good love triangle, read The Phantom of the Opera. This is the story of what happens when two adopted siblings fancy the fuck out of each other but can't be together because it's as bad as if they really were siblings. When Cathy chooses to marry another man for a whole bunch of really selfish reasons (the main one being 'he is handsome') Heathcliff's malevolence amps up to a whole new level and he absolves himself to destroy the lives of everyone ever connected to Cathy, including her innocent and lovestuck sister in law Isabella, Cathy' nephew Hareton, Cathy's own daughter Catherine the Second, as well as Cathy's brother Hindley and her own husband Edgar. And he does it masterfully, which is what I admire. He takes complete control of absolutely everything, despite being a gypsy foundling with not much education. This man destroys generations of people and makes everyone around him miserable all because Cathy married another man.
It's not like Cathy didn't love him. She did, in her own selfish way. She loved him as much as she could comprehend love. She saw through his exterior right into his soul, and still, for some reason, thought it was a good idea to marry Edgar and break Heathcliff's heart. And it's not like Heathcliff is bad because he was abused as a child - he's always been bad, and Cathy was always a spoiled bitch.
And Nelly Dean? The narrator herself is a bitch. She takes Cathy Jr's love letters, the only source of pleasure for her, and burns them. What a cow! I never realised before how much I dislike Nelly. She's way too big for her servant boots and she sticks her nose into everything. I know as a narrator she has to be there during scenes and deliver information to us but jeez! A little more decorum, please? There are times when eavesdropping is OK and times when it is not.
Just about the only characters I do actually like are Cathy Jr and Hareton as an adult. I think their relationship is sweet, even though it starts out so disgustingly. I think Hareton is just a big teddy bear, and Cathy Jr inherited her father's sweet nature, thank God.
I love how artfully the narration changes points of view. It uses Lockwood's narration, Nelly's narration within that, and letters and others speaking inside that. It's framed so beautifully, and you never get lost with who's telling the story. The book was written like forever ago and it does it better than a lot of modern day books.
So! Melodrama on the Yorkshire moors spread out over two generations in one house! Politics and emotions and selfishness to please all! Read it! That is, if you're patient enough with the language. I think people who've never attempted a classic before should probably ease in with something a little lighter. If you can decipher Shakespeare, you'll be OK.(less)
The following is completely one hundred percent true.
In 2005 I was in the chorus of a school production of the musical based on this book. It was an a...moreThe following is completely one hundred percent true.
In 2005 I was in the chorus of a school production of the musical based on this book. It was an abridged production and we had at least 50 children aged 12-18 (except they changed it to 19 to allow some older principal actors, for example the guy playing Javert, who funnily enough turned 20 on the final night).
I had one line as one of the factory bitches who bullied Fantine. "If Fantine doesn't look out watch how she goes - she'll be out on the street!" - Yep, that was me. Lines were few and far between, but our musical director made sure everyone in the chorus sang at least one line.
In 2008 I auditioned for an adult production and impressed the musical director and director with my classically trained voice that they clearly had been oblivious to up until that point, considering I'd been trained since 2002. I made it into a much smaller and much more experienced cast. The theatre community is somewhat limited where I grew up; everyone knows everyone, and it is rare that a person can make it into an experienced and established cast off their own talent. I remember that I beat some other auditioners who had been in many productions before. Ha ha.
At one early rehearsal, the director asked who had read the book before. I watched in amusement as only about two or three - and these were the over-achieving type (and I believe the gorgeous classical baritone playing Javert, and the powerful tenor who played Grantaire and Bamatabois [who, interestingly enough, was the same guy who played Javert in the schools edition I was in], but I don't remember who the other person was) - raised their hand. Then the director asked who'd never seen the musical before. Only two people - and one of them was playing Enjolras - raised their hand.
I endeavoured to identify myself with the over-achieving types and borrowed my dad's copy of Les Miserables. He'd bought it after watching the Gérard Depardieu/John Malkovich 2000 mini TV series on SBS (before they brought in ads during TV shows). I made it about a hundred pages in before I gave up - I'm simply not interested in reading chapter after chapter of obscure backstory unrelated to the plot. I should try the abridged copy, but honestly, I've been in two productions and been in the audience for a third, so I'm pretty sure I know the musical backwards. And in this day and age, the musicals of books tend to be more popular than books themselves: The Phantom of the Opera, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, and Wicked : The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West are a testament to this fact.
(view spoiler)[I was also in a production of Cats in 2007. If I get enough comments, I will post a picture of me and Bustopher Jones. (hide spoiler)]
I was cast again as one of the factory bitches ("Take a look at his trousers, you'll see where he stands!") and as the crazy old beggar woman in Act II ("What d'you think you're at, hanging round me pitch?"). I was also cast as Whore #1 ("Come on dearie, why all the fuss?"), much to my father's delight, and he proudly announced it to his lifelong priest as he received a blessing for some dangerous back surgery he had shortly before the production went onstage.
During the production run, my mother went to hospital for emergency brain surgery. She had two golf-ball sized benign tumours removed from the back of her skull. The hospital was literally across the street from the theatre, so I was there before the show and in make-up afterwards. Luckily, my mother had seen the show two days before she was taken to the emergency room.
I'm not making this shit up. Wanna see a picture of the barricade?["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>(less)
“Did you have a good bath?” he says as I come out after only an hour. “No,” I say, recognising that my tone is petulant. “Why not?” he asks in surprise,...more“Did you have a good bath?” he says as I come out after only an hour. “No,” I say, recognising that my tone is petulant. “Why not?” he asks in surprise, as the answer is usually the opposite. “I hate the book. Nothing is happening. Nothing has happened. And the aliens who invaded still make junk food. This doesn’t make sense. They don’t earn money or pay for anything, but they still make junk food. An alien invader who could read the mind of its host would learn to only make food with essential nutrients and stuff, to keep the populace as healthy as possible. They wouldn't waste time and effort making junk food.”
I give up. I just can’t do it. 107 pages and nothing has happened. This book literally put me to sleep. I said I was in the bath for an hour. I was asleep for half of that time. And then I was so mad that the book was so shitty I got out of a perfectly nice bath.
And it's made me half sad and half really fucking angry. I like Twilight. It's not the best book or series in the world but it is special to me because I burned out my reading after doing a literature degree, and it took me a year to even pick up a book. Twilight was that book. It welcomed me back into the world of reading, and I've slowly been enjoying it more and more for the past two years. It was easy to read, fast, and relatively painless until you start looking at the deeper aspects.
If I had picked up The Host in September of 2009 instead of Twilight, I probably wouldn't be reading yet.
This book is fucking stupid. I don't care how much worldbuilding has gone on or how many different species of aliens there are or even what it's like seeing their worlds from their perspective. Which I should, becasue that is what is awesome about sci-fi. But who the fuck would want to live their life as an inter-connected sea weed? Or a land-based plant? They don't do anything. They just grow and reproduce. They don't live. They just exist.
How THE FUCK did this parasitic species evolve? In Animorphs, the book series by Katherine Applegate the idea pretty much mirrors (I know it's not original but I grew up with it so bite me), the Yeerks evolved alongside the Gedds, and the Gedds were pretty crappy hosts anyway. The Yeerks were expanding to give their brethren better hosts so they could experience the world like everyone else: notably, Yeerks are blind, and they love being able to see through their hosts. Souls are obliterating entire races just because they think they can do better.
How the hell did souls evolve and how the fuck did they evolve so that they need to be surgically implanted? The Yeerks evolved a way of doing it themselves, with anaesthetic solutions to dull the pain of drilling into the brain. The souls literally makes no sense. To gain the abilities to take over the brain of another host you'd need very specific evolution, and when technology is introduced evolution stops. This is why humans haven't evolved for a very long time, because they've been using tools and technology for ages - manipulating the world around you, adapting to change (such as wearing clothing in colder climates) leads to no need to evolve, for example, fur. So how do you get a soul from its pre-parasitic days to a parasitic state via evolution if they need to be surgically attached?
And what is Meyer's obsession with eyes being able to give people away? In Twilight, red-eyed vamps are the bad guys and golden-eyed vamps are the good guys (I don't remember if anyone says what colour eyes the vamps who drink donated blood from a bag have). In The Host, the parasites give people a shine around their pupil. Meyer may be reading too deeply into the whole 'eyes and the window to the soul' thing. Ha ha, I just made a funny.
And the book opened with a scene that was just contradictory. (view spoiler)[The Healer said anyone could do the procedure in a back street alley yet they needed a lot of tech just to get Wanderer into Melanie (hide spoiler)]. Don't say something is really fucking easy and then go and show exactly how not-easy it is. Fucking fuck fuck (can you tell I'm exasperated?).
And where is the conflict? (view spoiler)[Something about Wanderer's chaperone needs some information that Wanderer can't get from Melanie so they're threatening to evict her from Mel's body. No idea what information it is or why it's so important they get it. Suspect it's something to do with the location of the rebel base. Insert Star Wars joke reference here. (hide spoiler)]
If this was Meyer's first attempt at getting published, she would have been laughed out of the industry. I read 107 pages and nothing has happened! At least in 100 pages Bella had met Edward! There is such a thing called THE INCITING FUCKING INCIDENT and as an aspiring traditionally-published author, I pretty much chase what the agents say they want. Such as no prologues, for example. So it pisses me the hell off when an established author wields such clout no one cares what the fuck she writes so long as she puts out another book *cough*Cassandra Clare*cough*.
Sometimes inciting incidents are happening on the first page! The first chapter! It's totally awesome when that happens. But why should I bother reading the rest of the book when I've given it 100 pages to give me anything and all it's done is wasted my time?
I mean, why should us newbies stick to the rules when veterans can break them and still rake in a payload?
I know the answer to that. They're famous. And it boggles my mind WHY.
I hope Meyer wrote this in her spare time for herself because I fucking love light sci-fi and I hate to think she sat down and decided the market needed this.
This book should be ashamed to call itself sci-fi.
I was looking forward to reading this because I'm doing NaNoWriMo and I need a book that isn't totally awesome and I want to spend all day reading (Unearthly, Divergent, Bloodlines, Shiver). But it's just made me fucking mad.
Mello and Cory, I should have listened to you. I'm so sorry. Forgive me.
I can't write any more because the nap in the bath made me sleepy and when I get sleepy I get emotional and I refuse to cry because I hate a book so fucking much.
I'm going to go bury myself in a GOOD BOOK because I am sick to fucking death of being burned by bad ones. But first I need a cuddle and to be assured there are still good books out there because the last time I felt this bad about a book (Fallen, Torment) I ended up giving those books away (despite their GORGEOUS cover art) and I NEVER give books away.
I've just re-read Vampire Academy and it's made me remember why it's my favourite recent YA series.
For the record, I'm not into vampires. I feel autho...moreI've just re-read Vampire Academy and it's made me remember why it's my favourite recent YA series.
For the record, I'm not into vampires. I feel authors who use vampires are lazy and need to look into building their own mythologies. Vampires are done to death.
Even in this series, where there are two different types of vampire (the Moroi and the Stirgoi) and their illegitimate half-human offspring, the dhampirs, isn't totally different from normal vampire literature. The Moroi are living vampires who age and die and can harness elemental magic. The Strigoi are evil moral-less undead vampires who kill people. The dhampirs are caught between them, protecting the Moroi from the Strigoi, because Moroi society is pretty fucked up and has decided it's better that way: that they shouldn't fight, they shouldn't use their magic offensively and also that dhampirs are little more than bodyguards.
Enter Rose Hathaway, my favourite heroine ever (after Rachel from Animorphs). She's a kick-ass little dhampir, a Guardian in training dedicated to protecting her best friend, Moroi princess Lissa Dragomir (yes, I know, we totally share the same name and it's the only reason I picked up this book, seriously!).
Vampire Academy does more than set up the world for the future books. We're introduced to Rose's god-like mentor, Guardian Dimitri (who's supposed to be really, really hot but I always find it difficult to think of literary characters as 'hot'). We find out something's stalking Lissa, and it's slowly revealed in the use of flashbacks everything important that's happened before the novel starts.
It's not the story per say that makes this novel so good. It's the clear writing, the immersion into Rose's head (and occasionally, Lissa's), and most importantly (to me), the politics of royalty and high school, the politics between the Moroi and their dhampirs schoolmates, and the whole relationship between Rose and Lissa. This is the best high school book I've read, because it goes in-depth into reputations and rumours, and the dirty business behind popularity.
Rose is a very likeable heroine. She's brave, reckless, a smart-mouth, and kinda... how do I say... friendly with a lot of boys. She doesn't mind getting into trouble. It's a nice fantasy to live vicariously through, especially if during your own high school you were really more like sweet, quiet, placid Lissa. Yep, I sure enjoy reading about Rose's exploits and all that teenage angst running through her head.
I recommend this book to both people who read vampires and people who don't. It's just a really great novel.(less)