I was completely blindsided by this book. At most I expected to get a few ideas to try out or a few tweaks to how I communicate with my husband. At woI was completely blindsided by this book. At most I expected to get a few ideas to try out or a few tweaks to how I communicate with my husband. At worst I feared misogyny masquerading as Christianity. Instead I had a revelation that changed the way my husband and I communicate.
For a long time I've struggled with the Bible's command for women to submit to their husbands and tried to balance it with the command for husbands to love their wives. Dr. Eggerich explains that the verse is written that way because men and women have different (but equal) roles to play in their marriage and therefore different challenges. So his book focuses on teaching husbands how to show their wives the love they need and wives how to show their husbands the respect they need.
I was skeptical until example after example sounded far too familiar to me. I couldn't understand why the more I tried to talk to my husband about an issue that was bugging me, the less willing he would be to talk to me and would even sometimes physically turn away from me. How could he be so cold and unloving! But according to my husband, in these situations he was just minding his business when I started attacking his integrity and then I wouldn't have the decency to let it go, so he decided it was best to not say anything at all until he could think of something nice to say. Understanding that my husband and I were speaking different languages finally allowed the doors of communication to open again and we're closer than ever. As I continued to read the book and talk about it with my husband we discovered even more ways our concerns differed during conflict. This book is definitely worth a try if communication is strained between you and your spouse.
This is by no means a perfect book. Once I got past my personal revelation, I can see how the book sounds a bit too much like an advertisement for Dr. Eggerichs's seminars and other products. Also, aside from Bible verses, the research in the book primarily references Dr. Eggerich's other publications and correspondence from thrilled customers. So this book does lack academic rigor, but I guess I'd consider it pop psych, so academic rigor isn't really what I'm looking for. It helped me look at communication in my marriage in a helpful way, so I got what I was looking for....more
When the neighborhood's perfect couple disintegrates, Harry Wilder discovers that he's missed most of his children's childhood and decides to become aWhen the neighborhood's perfect couple disintegrates, Harry Wilder discovers that he's missed most of his children's childhood and decides to become a stay-at-home dad. When Lyssa Harper decides to help him learn the ropes of being a mom in the posh suburb of Paradise Heights, the neighborhood gossips really get going. While everyone tries to figure out what went wrong with the Wilder's marriage, themes of love, trust, friendship, and family are examined by everyone involved in this engaging story an author who knows all about the posh life.
I was really impressed by this one, so much so that I ended up staying up until 4 this morning to finish it. I thought I knew where this one was going, but Brown threw enough curves that I could never quite be sure. Also, despite several plot details that felt familiar, the character of Lyssa is a straight-forward enough narrator to avoid triteness. I highly recommend this one. Unfortunately I was caught off guard by how much I liked it so much that I'm probably not being very coherent about its strengths....more
I have not read Gilbert's widely popular first memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, but Double X was doing Gilbert's current memoir for their Audio Book Club, soI have not read Gilbert's widely popular first memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, but Double X was doing Gilbert's current memoir for their Audio Book Club, so I thought I should check it out. Luckily, Gilbert fills in all the details you need from the first one. In this installment she contemplates the institution of marriage as she and her beau from her previous book are informed by Homeland Security that they must wed if they plan on living in the United States. This would be no problem if both of them hadn't been through horrible divorces that left them both suspicious of the institution of marriage, so Gilbert takes this 300-page book to explore the Western version of that institution in order to make peace with it before the various immigration agencies process her fiancé's paper and then grant them 30 days to plan a wedding.
It was a really quick, enjoyable read and a great starting off pointing for anyone wanting to do a little thinking about marriage, especially since she isn't trying to push one particular view of marriage. Just realize that this isn't the end-all be-all of marriage books and is instead a very personal story involving some overview on marriage in general....more