A shameful, horribly written disaster. I'm not going to even dignify the others with a rating or review because it's easy just to say it here: Don't wA shameful, horribly written disaster. I'm not going to even dignify the others with a rating or review because it's easy just to say it here: Don't waste your time! It's a shallow series, with flat characters and the sneaking suspicion that it's some Mormon housewife's wet dream....more
Funny and brutally honest at points, I loved the read. It was quick, basically a one-sitter. I thought I knew what was going on about thirty pages in,Funny and brutally honest at points, I loved the read. It was quick, basically a one-sitter. I thought I knew what was going on about thirty pages in, but it took me until near the end to realize how wrong I was. And the end, both saddening and hilarious. It's got quite a bit of cursing and a bit too much detail for some people's liking, but I loved it. The random facts everyone seemed to know, the descriptions of the almost pathetic 600 waiting to blow their load on some aging porn queen.
Some of my favorite, hopefully non-spoiler quotes from the book:
"Right now, up those stairs, the lady behind the door, she's neutral territory. A shrine where you pilgrimage a thousand miles on your knees to pay tribute. Same as Jerusalem or some church. Special to white supremacists, and Bloods, Crips, and Ninjas, a lady who transcends turf wars for power. Who transcends race and nationality and family. Every man here might hate every other man, outside of here we might all kill each other, but we all love her. Our Holy Ground. Cassie Wright, our angel of peace."
"The religious school she went to, growing up, Ms. Wright said how all the girls had to wear a scarf tied to cover their ears at all times. Based on the biblical idea that the Virgin Mary became pregnant when the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear. The idea that ears were vaginas. That, hearing just one wrong idea, you lost you innocence. One detail too many and you'd be ruined. Overdosed on information."
"Porn, he says, is a job you only take after you abandon all hope."
"'It only takes one mistake,' the Dan Banyan guy says, 'and nothing else you ever do will matter.' With his empty hand, he takes one of my hands. His fingers feel hot, fever-hot, and pounding with his heartbeats. He turns my hand palm-up saying, 'No matter how hard you work or how smart you become, you'll always be known for that one poor choice.' He sets the blue pill on my palm, saying, 'Do that one wrong thing - and you'll be dead for the rest of your life.'"
"Such a hypocrite. After that, she'd in the kitchen practicing boiled-icing scrotums and lemon-curd assholes, mixing food coloring to make clits and nipples. Wasting gallons of buttercream frosting to squeeze out row and row of foreskin on sheets of wax paper. You open our fridge, and inside you'll find sheets of labia, leftover lengths of thigh or butt cheek, same as the kitchen of Jeffrey Dahmer."
"She shouts that nothing except a lifetime of festering anger and hatred would give you the determination to wait around corners for hours, rain or shine, to loiter at bus stops just in case Cassie Wright happened by. To get revenge."
"Cassie said maybe if she was stupid and desperate, really clutching at straws and emotionally needy, utterly destroyed, she'd accept my proposal - so I figured there was still hope. Trouble was, her folks had poisoned her against me with all this self-esteem crap."...more
I read this book years ago to a bunch of kids and thought, what a hilarious story.. if I ever have a kid I'm going to buy it. I did and I have. :) CutI read this book years ago to a bunch of kids and thought, what a hilarious story.. if I ever have a kid I'm going to buy it. I did and I have. :) Cute and ridiculous, it's led me to buying a bunch more of Scieszka's work....more