I implore you not to waste your time reading this book. I will be keeping hold of it in case one day someone claims to have read the most shallow, insi...moreI implore you not to waste your time reading this book. I will be keeping hold of it in case one day someone claims to have read the most shallow, insipid, uninspiring and unlikely chick lit ever written, whereupon I will produce Jemima J as evidence to the contrary. Unless of course they are referring to this book, in which case they will be spot on.(less)
**spoiler alert** I liked the first three books but this was something else...
A few points:
Charlie - in the first two books, Bella is always raving ab...more**spoiler alert** I liked the first three books but this was something else...
A few points:
Charlie - in the first two books, Bella is always raving about how super strict her policeman dad is, despite the fact that he never hears Edward sneaking in through her window every night, doesn't punch him in the face when he comes back after the New Moon abandonment episode, doesn't bat an eyelid when Jacob forces himself on her in Eclipse, etc. In this book, Charlie seems to have regressed into a one-dimensional imbecile. He's fine about the wedding, despite his earlier misgivings about Edward - there's a tiny note about him expecting flaky wedding-hater Renee to talk Bella out of it, but when she doesn't, Charlie apparently just shrugs and next thing he's having a fitting for his wedding suit. What? And even more unbelievably, later on in the book when Jacob rocks up, turns into a wolf in front of him and drags him to the Cullens', where Bella has transformed into a superwordly being and is holding a toddler that looks just like her - he just kind of goes "meh, don't need to know details" and that's it. He goes fishing or something. Just leaves. MEH?! The only explanation for this could possibly be that he's had a complete mental breakdown and needs Sue around to feed him mashed carrots.
Jacob/Leah - their bond strengthens in Jacob's narrative section to the point that you think there might be a happy ending for poor Leah, the "bitter, non-feminine, whiny" wolf, but then it's cut dead. Leah goes to see Bella when she's pregnant and (rightly) berates her for her shady treatment of Jacob. Then, nothing. She drops off the map to make room for the Renesmee/Nessie (don't know which is worse) fiasco.
Imprinting on babies weirdness - as soon as Bella's heart stops beating and it says the force is pulling Jacob towards something downstairs, I was thinking Nooo! Please don't do it! But of course she did. Jacob imprints on, and is devoted to, the baby. Putting aside the strange "adult fixated on child" situation, this irritated me because Jacob is suddenly relegated from main character to Cullens' lapdog, almost literally.
The big battle that never was - these assorted vampire characters turn up from all over the globe, their powers, relationships and convoluted backstories detracting from the protagonists, and for what? Bella learning to use her forcefield, and some more creepy old men leching over the baby. Big whoop.
And as for Bella's "ultimate self-control" as a newborn, don't get me started. She may as well have eaten brain-dead Charlie, for how much of a toss she actually gives about the poor bloke.(less)
I was quite disappointed in this considering how much I love The Social Network. I just couldn't engage with the writing or characters, and if I hadn'...moreI was quite disappointed in this considering how much I love The Social Network. I just couldn't engage with the writing or characters, and if I hadn't seen the film already I probably would've given the book 1 star.(less)