this book just goes to show that you can be in a monsterporn reading group with someone and still not know just what they're capable of.
and THIS is whthis book just goes to show that you can be in a monsterporn reading group with someone and still not know just what they're capable of.
and THIS is why we don't get up to use the bathroom. because a cat'll just flop down on your chocolate-covered almonds, shove your sparkling ice out the way, and force you to go "aaawwwww!" and stop reading because you need to take pictures of how cute she is.
this book starts out as a sort of traditional fantasy-daydream, but then it goes through some very surprising and dark turns. forty-one-year-old beth lowe is a regular woman - bookish, concerned about her weight, a little bored, and in the middle of an amicable, but still disruptive, divorce. she's got a little celebrity crush on roman reed, the lead singer of phantom, whose music is a sort of bonding point she shares with her young autistic son joey. one night, she and a friend take joey to a phantom concert, where they have paid for backstage access, and everything is going well until three masked men show up to kidnap roman in a revenge and remuneration plot. one of the men is smitten with beth's boobies, and decides take her as well, as a bonus. beth doesn't want to put joey in harm's way, to be added to the hostage pool, and since he is safe with her friend, she doesn't protest when she is hauled off with roman.
and at first, it's not so bad, for a kidnapping. she's stuck in a cage with a man she's fantasized about before, and the kidnappers are treating her (if not roman) really well - they bring her toiletries and food and a futon and even an ipod with music she chooses herself. and although she thinks Being kidnapped anytime would not be fun. I'd never read a book where a person was kidnapped and they had a good time. Never had someone kidnapped another with the intent on playing a game of Monopoly. Kidnappings were bad and lots of bad stuff happened while people were held captive, at first, this may as well be a monopoly-abduction. sure, roman is actually kind of a jerk, and she misses joey, and it's weird to discover that one of the kidnappers is kind of hot and seems to be very apologetic and concerned that she got roped into this. but the other kidnapper, the one who loves her boobies, is still a little creepy, so it's not all relaxing.
for a while, the "nice" kidnapper keeps sicko in line, and beth and roman are forced to get to know one another. and a sweet escapist fantasy develops, even though it is in a very untraditional setting. removed from the rest of the world, away from the distractions and the trappings of celebrity, these two people really get to know each other - they open up and eventually there are feeeeeelings. and it's sweet - beth is plucky and funny, and she's not going to let roman reed walk all over her just because he's used to women falling for him and she's nursed her own fantasies. but now that she's actually getting to know him as a man instead of an idol, real feelings can develop, not just a schoolgirl crush. and for his part, roman is discovering the hidden depths to beth, depths which his recent "relationships" have lacked. he even listens to her talk excitedly about twilight for a long time, baffled, but paying close attention.
Hell, maybe I could even get some tips from this Edward guy since Beth seemed to get excited about him. But to me Edward was coming off as a stalker. I didn't have to stalk Beth. She was already here.
Shit! Am I comparing myself to a sparkly vampire? God, this basement is making me insane.
it's funny, it's sweet, it's an unconventional romcom.
but they are still in a cage. so there's that.
and then the story shifts from a romcom to something closer to romantic suspense, where the perilous aspects are heightened times a thousand. and sweetness is left far behind.
and THEN, just when you thought you had a handle on where the story would be going, things go off into bizarro territory. i mean, DAMN. i did not see that coming, and it was horrifically chilling and right now i'm a little scared of sunny. it definitely ends on a cliffhanger, and i'm glad she sent me the second part to this as well. because i need to know what the psychological repercussions of this kinda situation are. i'm pretty sure this is unprecedented.
well done, sunny! you have made love and terror go together like a bird and feather.
this is a book of photographs of dogs and their favorite toys.and it doesn't get much better than that.
some of the pictures are goodDOGS! AND! TOYS!
this is a book of photographs of dogs and their favorite toys.and it doesn't get much better than that.
some of the pictures are good just because the dog is so damn adorable
and in some you can't even see the dogs
and some, well…
but i gotta confess - i was a little disappointed. after reading Chewed, Dirty Wow Wow and Other Love Stories: A Tribute to the Threadbare Companions of Childhood, and Much Loved, i expected there to be some wear on these toys, because that's what i loved about those other books - the transformation of an object after it had been through the wringer of love. after seeing what humans put their favorite toys through with their loving snuggles, some of these"objects of affection" were just too clean to be believable. it looked like the toys were just plucked off the shelves and dropped in front of these dogs for the purposes of the picture:
and this doggie is just missing the spirit of the book altogether.
but cue the sarah mclachlan. some of the accompanying stories are heartbreakers. if i never read the word "machete" in the same sentence as the word "dog" again, it will be too soon. seriously. it makes me want to slow-torture people and then go run down to the shelter and
but this doggie recovered from his ordeal. and i am happy for that, but i also want you to all go out and get a shelter dog RIGHT NOW THANKS.
i am so glad i finally got my hands on a copy of this, because if i can't have a doggie, this will do for now. ...more
hey, me again. i took a buncha days off from reviewing so i could relax and celebrate america and all that, but now i am back! and i am reviewing this hey, me again. i took a buncha days off from reviewing so i could relax and celebrate america and all that, but now i am back! and i am reviewing this book! and while i know that most of you people have never listened to me about this guy before, i am going to howl into that void one more time: RYYYYYKEEERRRRRR!
this guy is three for three, and since the third time is the charm, maybe one of you out there will heed me and pick up one of his books, all of which i have found to be very evocative and entertaining literary horror novellas, and i am excited to learn that there are even more out there for me to devour.
yeah, i said novellas. and i know, i know – novellas can be unsatisfying: you don't get a ton of story and then it is over and you have to reach over and find something else to read, but sometimes, SOMETIMES, there is something to be said for the whippet-thin, streamlined tale. it cuts away the extraneous, the descriptive, the dropped subplot, and gives you what you signed up for: pure story. and in a horror novel, in a psychological suspense novel, brevity can be very good, indeed.
with this one, there was an easy way to write it and a smart way to write it, and he chose the smart way. supernatural horror gets certain liberties – you can gloss over inconsistencies or weak plots in the service of atmosphere or "that's just how spooky rolls," but this is a different kind of horror, and ryker doesn't take the cheap shots - he manages to satisfy the reader with plausible explanations without sacrificing story or suspense. and this one is a tight little number that can be read in one sitting, but sticks around to rattle in the brain for a while after finishing.
told from four different perspectives, the story revolves around a gigantic manchild, no i mean GIGANTIC, like 7 feet, 400 pounds of manchild, who is basically gentle, but because of his size he has the potential to do some real damage, if he so chose. but mostly he just wants to be left alone to draw and watch cartoons. until he discovers the doll shop. this is one of those fancy doll shops, where you get to design your own doll after your own specifications. and bobby goes frequently with his minder, and makes a lot of very specific little girl dolls. but then real, living little girls start to go missing around town. little girls who look an awful lot like the dolls bobby has been making.
particularly spooky since bobby never leaves the company of his minder, and does not watch the news nor read the papers. so how, how how?? is he sneaking out? is his minder involved? does he have freaky abilities to go along with his freaky size? how does he know?
don't worry, ryker will tell you the answer. as long as you can be bothered to read 60 pages.
genius. what a wonderful idea: poetry based on the dioramas created by frances glessner lee back in the 40's and 50's to help train forensic detective genius. what a wonderful idea: poetry based on the dioramas created by frances glessner lee back in the 40's and 50's to help train forensic detectives in the art of crime-scene interpretation. have you seen these things? they are incroyable. tiny little details with tiny little dolls and tiny little bottles and ropes and shoes and lamps.each one a crime scene. i have this book: The Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death, that you should go out and get. and then you should read this book of poems which does an excellent job of humanizing these scenes.
i have gallantly taken photos of some of the scenes from my copy of the nutshell studies of unexplained death and typed out the corresponding poem. sorry for any loss of detail with my tiny camera, and you're welcome.
You're going to kill her. At least give her legs. She's drinking from a shard of glass, bloomers cycling in rigor mortis. Pink garters chasten knitted stockings. A piece of soap pines for her dirt. Sauced on gin, perhaps she slipped. Stiff legs suggest she stiffened elsewhere. Dinner tasted of its tinfoil cover. Wainscoting grasps the tub in its fist. Gentlemen friends brought gin to her room, but somehow 'Dark Bathroom' is the scene of the crime. She's open-ended. You can see up her skirt.No doubt she's finished to the last doll pat. She's swimming upside-down in flounces, drunk on water, the last thing she'll taste. She'll never listen to Sousa's opus. Plessy v. Ferguson upholds the law.
The cabin was ours all winter. You paid for this, the sleek word 'mistress'. I touched the gun because the gun touched you. I swear I didn't do it, although your hair was something I could have. While you were sleeping I cut it, true. If they search my house they'll find you in boxes, sweaters that smell of the way you walked. The shot came from behind. I heard her sigh into the job. Your wife had insurance; she made sure of that.Last to see you, I'm under suspicion. My prints aren't on the ammunition.
Here's the dollhouse wife asleep, night's chores finished in miniature. What hangs above the infant's head is red. I mean the way graffiti moves through trains, signaling who's been and when. Her husband sleeps beside her on the floor. This dollhouse lesson has to do with time. I mean the way sound travels through a house asleep. Detectives learn to sweep a story clockwise for detail. Anyone might own a gun. Pink slippers run in place atop a popcorn rug.
i love this idea. love it. even if i don't love each and every poem with all my heart, i love the concept and 93% of the execution.
oh my god - my new favorite book!! i know - i get excited about books on here an awful lot. i have an excitable nature, to be sure. but do you understoh my god - my new favorite book!! i know - i get excited about books on here an awful lot. i have an excitable nature, to be sure. but do you understand? this is a book of photographs of stuffed animals and other toys that have been loved and chewed up by dogs.
really?? and people pay money for this??
not yet, but they will.
why is this book awesome, isn't it just photos of trash, basically?? well, yeah, to the untrained eye. but when you see these adorable stuffed animals still smiling through their torn-off ears and ther raggedy arms and their split tummies - these is something mournfully brave in this.
even without their eyes they are rugged and ragged and loyal.they are still cute - like little battered creatures still holding out their arms for hugs.
too bad dogs don't hug.
this book reminds me of Dirty Wow Wow and Other Love Stories: A Tribute to the Threadbare Companions of Childhood, which is a photographic study of people's beat up and beloved childhood stuffed animals (and which i just found out now, has a canine compabnion: Dirty Bow Wow, which i must pick up). i have plenty of stuffed animlas, but i have no dog. i do have a cat, and when these people start doing open calls for "things my cat has thrown up upon" i will have plenty of photographs to contribute. although i predict that book will be less attractive and will sell fewer copies.
i am kind of too lazy and full of food right now to add pictures to this review (and i know how you people need pictures to hold your interest) but tomorrow maybe i will share some photos from this book so you understand why my love is so strong.
so, this is a luridly illustrated book which basically answers the question, "what if toy story 3 was not a disney movie and all those abandoned toysso, this is a luridly illustrated book which basically answers the question, "what if toy story 3 was not a disney movie and all those abandoned toys got their richly deserved revenge on those roughhousing kids. no, lotso, nooo!!
and also - i hope my stuffed rabbit knows that when his ear fell off, it was totally an accident.
oh, you crazy french people...
the story is good, not great, but has elements of greatness in it. but the art - i just love it. there are pages that remind me of Jim Woodring, mostly in the scenes like this:
i don't know, maybe it is just the color scheme, or my ignorance of art, but they look similar to me:
but it might also be that they both create these intensely detailed worlds of insanity and detail. and i like that in a graphic novel. i like density. this gives me plenty to look at, and lets me add another book to me "creepy dolls" shelf.
oh my god - what better book to go on my "creepy dolls" shelf???
this is my new very favorite book. i am a sucker for this kind of thing; collections o
oh my god - what better book to go on my "creepy dolls" shelf???
this is my new very favorite book. i am a sucker for this kind of thing; collections of odd and funny things - books i can flip through when i am too bored to concentrate on a "real" book, and books like these are why the e-readers cannot be allowed to have their way - this does not translate to e-ink. i love my little novelty books, and i will continue to support it when websites turn into books. bring me more lolcats, i dare you.
this one, though, is more terror than humor.
dolls are terrifying. at my dad's house, there is a doll somewhat similar to this:
oh my god - i hate that doll. my dad knows this, and tries to terrify me with it whenever i make my way home. you begin to understand why i don't get up there much.who would make a doll like this?? is it being punished?? who would dare punish a doll??
yeah, good luck with that.
who thinks these dolls are a good idea? is it unclear that these dolls will kill you in your sleep? if these were people, with these dead eyes, you would give them a wide berth, not invite them into your home and the beds of your children.
this one is the clear winner:
how could you even play with that??
this book is giving me the most delicious nightmares. nom nom nom...more
i meant to write a really great DBR of this book yesterday, for easter, because there is no more respectful way to acknowledge a religious holiday thai meant to write a really great DBR of this book yesterday, for easter, because there is no more respectful way to acknowledge a religious holiday that celebrates "that which comes back from death" and chocolate than by reviewing a book about my little pony zombies.
alas, the D of the BR made me pretty lazy and it was one of those situations where i wrote a brilliant one in my head as i sprawled on the couch, but it evaporated and now i have nothing.
however, the minute i typed "zombie my little ponies," more than half of you should have been pulling on your pants and shoes and heading for the door to go buy this. why do i imagine that more than half of you are not wearing pants? i just do.
i don't think this is the greatest book ever written, but it might be the best book about zombie my little ponies, spiky care bears, and a kool-aid man filled with blood. so far.
the illustrations are pretty great, and the story manages to be dark and sad and funny and about all the sacrifices we make for love. it's just good fun.
i love the flutterfly ponies, i hate the musical interludes, and although i may no longer be D, here is my BR. ...more
this is actually how rhode island was created. roger williams got some clay or whatever, and made teeny tiny buildings and put teeny tiny people in ththis is actually how rhode island was created. roger williams got some clay or whatever, and made teeny tiny buildings and put teeny tiny people in them, going about their daily life. soon it became a tourist attraction and then one of our thirteen original colonies!! welcome to rhode island and providence plantations!!...more
this book is amazing. it is what i imagine connor thinks of what rhode island looks like; tiny little people going about their tiny little lives. i knthis book is amazing. it is what i imagine connor thinks of what rhode island looks like; tiny little people going about their tiny little lives. i know very little about art (except what william taught me about pietro della francesca yesterday) but i know that this is genius, even though the gum one grosses greg out a lot....more
THIS IS A BOOK WHERE... oh, no. i am not doing those anymore. this is a review where i follow alfonso's simple rules:
1. No more than 3 pictures. 2. YouTHIS IS A BOOK WHERE... oh, no. i am not doing those anymore. this is a review where i follow alfonso's simple rules:
1. No more than 3 pictures. 2. You need to wave it something about my penis being huge in the review! I know you’ve never seen it! And proly never will! But still! You a good writer! You’ll find a way to praise my penis! 3. You should offend at least 1 good reader besides me! 4. You’ll need to make a reference to something completely no relevant to the book! Something about your life! A dirty secret would be nice! 5. You are also absolutely forbidden to say anything that relates to the book’s plot! I love reviews where people don’t talk about the freaking book! 6. You need to pick a song ! This song will be the sound track of the review! The reader will have the option to play it on you tube while reading the review! 7. Find away to blame Atiba for women having their period, global warming, the war on Iraq or whatever! The thing is that he needs to be blame of something! 8. NO obscure references! ! 9. Let us know on what team are you on! Team Jacob or Team Edward! 10. And lastly answer this burning question! Who is the sexiest person in goodreads.com!
these photographs are disturbing, like the photographs of - oh, wait - i can't namedrop. TFB, bookworld! the only photograph more disturbing than the ones to be found in this book is alfonso's new avatar, which shows off his massive tool(and by "tool", i mean "water bottle") which no one is crowing about - do they not see his massive tool??
reading dare wright's biography really gave me some perspective about the inspiration for her photography. basically, she was a very lonely, sheltered girl who slept in the same bed as her mother throughout adulthood and constructed a sort of fantasy world that is heartbreaking in its fragility, and these pictures are indicative of the innerworkings of her mind and are disturbing and fascinating all at once.
the mother daughter dynamic between dare wright and her moms recalls grey gardens (which is in no was an obscure reference, as their awesome madness spawned two movies, a musical, and assorted other things that are in no way obscure. for the record)
an interlude, for monica:
cum cum jizz spunk cum cummy sandwich jizzy jizz cumfag splooge jizzpunch. cocktastic cumfucks. violence violence punch punch kick. block.
if i get kicked off of goodreads.com, i will assume it is all atiba's fault. (like everything in this world that is bad: olives, famine, crime, shark attacks) atiba - seriously everything you touch is ruined, and the air you exhale is poisoned with your demonic soul.
i love these photographs - just the "edith doll" and her teddies and discipline and a pervasive hauntedness. when i was a little girl, i had tons of stuffed animals (not that much has changed since then) and i would play elaborate games with them: sometimes we would play "stewardess" because i was totally liberated, right? and i would play "raft" but i never played anything involving spanking, and i could never have conjured up the imaginary tableaux that ms. wright created.
sometimes i still talk to them, but i am not necessarily lonely, just a little.
i love nutella.
i suppose, if it comes right down to it, i would rather be with a man who went all sparkly in direct sunlight than a man whose doghair would always be clogging my drain (twss)
so this is what happens when you GIS "hottest goodreader ever". so, i suppose whoever this avatar belongs to is the official hottest goodreader. research has made it so.
i would love to talk some more about the actual contents of the book, but i think it is best seen for oneself. they are truly sad little photos for a sad always-to-be-little girl
my thanks to boyd for answering my call for "more creepy doll books". it seems everyone knew about this but me. and its great! i got the two still inmy thanks to boyd for answering my call for "more creepy doll books". it seems everyone knew about this but me. and its great! i got the two still in print, and will track down the rest. and while i was buying them, my cashier-friend commanded me to read the bio, which i will also do. this book is beautiful and sad and just so well-posed. theres a lot more conveyed than meets the eye at first glance. these photos need to be really examined, not just paged through. another book i am baffled that children are exposed to. ...more
i love this book. i love that there is no explanation given - no introduction - just page after page of chilling little tableaus. and then a story byi love this book. i love that there is no explanation given - no introduction - just page after page of chilling little tableaus. and then a story by jonathan lethem. someone less precise (read: anal) could use the "r" word here. the more i look at these, the more unnerving i find them. bravo! ...more