As a formalist literary critic would quip: Regardless of the author's past history with abuse, that is irrelevant in regards to reviewing and determinAs a formalist literary critic would quip: Regardless of the author's past history with abuse, that is irrelevant in regards to reviewing and determining the value and quality of the book.
I stopped after 3 chapters.
The writing style attempted 3rd person omniscient and failed. The narrative reminded me--painfully--of the first toddling steps an aspiring fanfiction writer would take in giving us a description of everything without it really feeling natural. It just didn't read well to me. It's not like it was grammatically incorrect or out-there, it just felt very amateur and heavy-handed. Yeah, that's the word I'd use: Heavy-handed.
Things that also bothered me right from the get-go in the little that I read:
1. No, don't believe for a fucking second that "men with big vans luring kids with puppies" is common whatsoever. Children are statistically much more likely to be kidnapped, raped, or murdered by someone they know than a complete stranger. Also, when people do such things to children, it's usually ones they know "won't be missed": Runaways, abused and neglected, etc.
I understand the appeal of a good kidnapping story, I really do, I enjoy the dark themes that it could bring, but this is obviously coming from a biased perspective at the hands of the author due to her past. It does no one any good to continue to promote this tired false trope nowadays.
2. Chloroform takes minutes not seconds to kick in. Just thought I'd mention that. It's 20xx, you should know this shit by now.
3. This book doesn't need to be 630 pages. You can read infinitely better and more tragic books with similar themes of kidnapping and rape of children in titles like Gemma by Meg Tilly, which is roughly 1/3rd the length of this book.
Save your time, this isn't worth it, it's actually pretty boring and painfully amateurish in its narrative....more
I can't enjoy this book because I'm not fluent in other languages. Sorry, James Joyce. Actually, I'm not sorry. If I wanted to read a book with bits oI can't enjoy this book because I'm not fluent in other languages. Sorry, James Joyce. Actually, I'm not sorry. If I wanted to read a book with bits of another language tied in, I'd read something where the people speaking are bilingual and say something in their native tongue, THEN in English. Only James Joyce.......more
It's so soulless, so mechanical, so lifeless and droll and just...ugh.
It's trying so hard to emulate MargaretI can't read this, people. I just CAN'T.
It's so soulless, so mechanical, so lifeless and droll and just...ugh.
It's trying so hard to emulate Margaret Atwood's style of prose concerning dystopia, I can feel it, and it's fucking failing badly.
Most dystopias or "not-so-bright future" stories tell you up front why it is like it is. For Hunger Games, it was because shit happened and a new government divided everything into Districts to control. For Handmaid's Tale it was a mixture of environmental decay, low birth rate, and because the whole government got wiped out by crazies. For 1984 it was simply a "this could freaking happen you guys, be on your guard!" kind of warning to the West if it were to let people like Stalin stay in power.
See? Easy to follow, easy to understand, easy one-thing-leads-to-another scenario and timeline.
This doesn't have it.
Most of the time I don't know if this is set 100 years in the future or if it's technically set tomorrow on an alternative timeline. They make references to "last century". What last century? You mean the 1900s? Do you mean the 2000s? What time?! WHAT TIME!!
I couldn't care less about these characters. I got into 30 pages and I was beside myself with frustration and boredom. Why exactly are there Judas Girls? How did society come about to need them? Is this some kind of weird Madonna/Whore Complex mish-mashed with some weird twisted sense of feminism? What exactly do you mean they "lose an eye"? Do they mean they get a new robot eye so they're like, cyborgs? What?
Only vaguely is there the reason "Oh only the rich upper class people should be smart". Okaaay. Expand on that please. Actually offer some insight instead of plopping that one strand of information in the beginning and then just assuming everyone will remember it down the road because I sure as hell didn't.
This book makes me want to beat my head against the wall. This book sucks. A LOT. OF EGGS....more
This one I literally stopped after 2 or 3 pages. I made a similar review for her book One Among Us, which I criticized briefly for being amateurish iThis one I literally stopped after 2 or 3 pages. I made a similar review for her book One Among Us, which I criticized briefly for being amateurish in writing.
This right here is perhaps the epitome of that sort of writing.
It is just so...pointed and blatant in its "Oh this child doesn't get love, oh she wishes she could get love but she doesn't".
Dearth: Show, don't tell. I can glean that much. It's not too big of a stretch of the imagination for me to figure out that maybe the girl and her siblings would like to be loved by their parents and are broken because they aren't. That's not a plot twist I need spelled out for me.
Her use of subjective 3rd person is sloppy and, once again I must reiterate, too transparent. What is being told to the reader is so obvious it should not be said: The kids aren't alright. They feel bad because Mommy and Daddy don't love them. I don't need it to be said, I just want to see how they act knowing this is their reality.
This book was an assignment given to me by my AP Literature teacher. I balked immediately at the thought of reading this book because I absolutely hatThis book was an assignment given to me by my AP Literature teacher. I balked immediately at the thought of reading this book because I absolutely hate 1800s romance stories and I had a sneaking suspicion I'd hate anything by the Bronte sisters for that very reason. Well, I was right.
I hate this book. Well, not hate, but it was so dreadfully disappointing for me. As we were discussing this book my teacher kept bringing up the fact of how "strong" Jane Eyre was, how her suffering shaped her into the stoic governess that she ended up being. That's all well and good but I believe that her "Suffering" was so subtle and implied that I couldn't believe that she was this much of a cold person without more background. Yeah her "family" is composed of a bunch of assholes, but her fiery personality is subdued so easily, without a fuss? Lame. Lame as all hell.
Personally I enjoyed Jane's recollections of her childhood but once she became an adult lady I was totally bored. Like, I don't care. At all. And it's probably because these tropes have been so done, but the fact that I've been exposed to such watered down equivalents of the snarky Rochester and the bitter and cool Jane Eyre made their relationship also uninspiring. Sorry, Bronte, if you'd gotten to me first I would have probably enjoyed this "ingenuous" breakthrough in relationships between high class and low class, but alas it was not to be.
I did find the little segments of the completely rude and snooty uppercrusts to be enjoyable in that my righteous indignation was fed. Fuck you Blanche, and fuck your mom too. As well as all of you inbred pieces of highfalutin shit.
So I got to chapter 14, I would say...I had a physical copy of Jane Eyre since I was too assed to charge our school's lent-out Nook....and I went to the back to look at some French translations (Fuck you, Bronte, for putting whole sentences in French. German is the only language that matters!! GERMAN LIT! GERMAN LIT!!) and guess what I found right beneath the footnote giving me those translations?
(view spoiler)[A fucking note that basically said "Here Bronte foreshadows what Jane will feel when she discovers that Mr. Rochester is still married" (hide spoiler)] LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!
I want to take the footnoter and...and...
Who told you this would be a good idea?! To put in spoilers in goddamn footnotes along with pointers of what certain scraps of foreign language mean as well as references to the Bible!? (Which Bronte seems to be super good at since her father was a pastor or whatever). Urgh...
This book also seems like wish fulfillment since she apparently fell in love with an old French teacher who was already married...
Jane Eyre is a self-insert on the part of Charlotte Bronte, and this whole book is basically semi-wish fulfillment. How quaint.
Like, lots of authors write about their own real-world experiences, but I find it bad taste to basically air out dirty laundry like this. Victorian England, no less! It's just...weird. And not very entertaining. ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more
I got to page..I don't know, 50(?) and I just sat back and thought "Where in I can't do it, man... I just can't do it
This book..is so..
I got to page..I don't know, 50(?) and I just sat back and thought "Where in fuck's name is this story going?"
What is the POINT of this story? What the hell is the author even talking about?
Don't get me started on the run-on sentences on the very first page.
I seriously thought that Virginia Woolf must've been half retarded with her own language to not put any periods in that full-course meal of a first paragraph. I felt bloated and dizzy reading it with only slight pauses (commas) and not full-on stops (periods).
As someone who likes conventional writing when it is advertised to be written as such, this was a slap in a face to the English language. The conventional English language, you know, where people can breathe and complete a thought.
I don't know about you, but Twilight made more sense than this. Bella's inner monologues made 100x more sense than this did.
Again, what was the point of this story? What was the flipping point?
I had to look this book up on SparkNotes since there was no way I was able to wrap my head around this la-dee-da of a book.
Apparently this whole book except for a few pages at the end is about an ENTIRE DAY. Seriously? I never got that at all. Within the few pages I read (50 or something), it to me seemed to span DAYS, perhaps weeks. That's how slow time seemed warp within the pages of this story. It was mind-numbing, almost like being anesthesized to the point of numbness but not completely under, and then being completely alert and awake as the doctor begins to cut open your head to do brain surgery--against your will. You feel tickles of the nerves, a sensation of pulling, but you are powerless to do anything about it. But you know you want this to pass and to be knocked out while it happens, but still retain the effects of it, if they prove to be beneficial.
So this book was boring. Very, very...BORING.
It makes me almost angry in a defeated, irritated way how boring this book was. Instead of frustrating myself trying to read this, I could've finished "Cry, a Beloved Country"..Grr...
Is this book "slice of life"? Because if so, this was written to be the most banal and homely of stories.
All I got out of the few pages I read was:
-There's an asshole father with insecurity issues that needs to cry to his wife to make sure she loves him like the pansy he is
-The wife is a tireless matron that knows how to provide the best for her kids and husband
-There is a painter girl, and she is very high strung and off her rocker when it comes to people looking at her paintings
-A man next door with a yellowy mustache who just sunbathes all day.. From his description he reminded me of Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter, only harmless
-An asshole that's a friend of the father that doesn't ever shut the hell up about whatever snarky drivel that spews from his mouth. Bullies the painter girl and in general acts like Urkel from Family Matters or that one friend of Will's from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Someone that comes around and annoys the family, but hangs around because no one else wants to put up with him
-There's also a dude who looks at the asshole father from afar and wishes he could be successful like him--that is, have a family. I think.
So yeah, this book was bad. And apparently this was one of her "experimental works". Jesus, I just had to pick the one book where the author goes all avante garde.
I'd rather read Common Sense by Thomas Paine than continue this story. I seriously would rather read something by Glenn Beck or Snooki than this... At least there would be a little humor and straightforward ways of writing that I can understand instead of just "flowing in the wind" like this book seems to do....more
It just didn't have the appeal that would make me read more. Average goober teenager who is all acting and "thee-ah-tehr!" and no athletic skills to sIt just didn't have the appeal that would make me read more. Average goober teenager who is all acting and "thee-ah-tehr!" and no athletic skills to speak of.
I don't understand why show choir kids can suck at sports. Dancing requires hand eye coordination, and yet they can't kick a simple ball? This is just my question. ...more
Oh my God shut this brat up. There is something about 12 year olds that irks me. Well, even if this kid ISNT 12 years old, she sure acts like it. AllOh my God shut this brat up. There is something about 12 year olds that irks me. Well, even if this kid ISNT 12 years old, she sure acts like it. All hyper and whiny over the internet. And to top it all off she's a BRITISH brat. I can barely handle American brats here at home, no way am I gonna read about some snot nosed pigtailed pile of slag and her "Mummy" issues.. Barf.
And I created THREE -- count em -- THREE new shelves JUST for this book! Hurray?...more
This book was boring. I didn't like the female lead. She was...bland and boring. I feel bad for her friends for trying to put up with their wolf-crazyThis book was boring. I didn't like the female lead. She was...bland and boring. I feel bad for her friends for trying to put up with their wolf-crazy friend.
After being on DeviantArt for so long, I should've known I wouldn't like a book about a "wolfaboo". Sorry, wolf fans, but they're just flipping WOLVES. Who gives a shit? ...more