This is the strange love story of Nadine, who has runaway from home, her preacher father and absent mother, and King David, a stagehand at a Chicago pThis is the strange love story of Nadine, who has runaway from home, her preacher father and absent mother, and King David, a stagehand at a Chicago playhouse who lives in the shadow of his father, the union president. King David is unlucky in love. Proof is now in his nether region from the ex who decides to mark him with orange paint over a car payment. Waitress Nadine witnesses the scene from the cafe window where she works waiting mostly on stagehands (King David's friends.) Now King David notices Nadine and feels he must keep her quiet else Nadine will tell everyone and ruin his reputation. He enlists his fellow stagehands, who are as odd as King David himself. Strangely, Nadine feels she is in danger for having witness all of this and takes the offensive, often beating King David at his own game. These shenanigans go on and on with unbelievable endings and more odd characters. One day they both decide they love the other and wham! they try romance now instead of the childish games of the first three-quarters of the book. The whole thing ends . . . going to have to read it.
This is an awkward love story that involves much foul language, most unnecessary, and scenes that felt pushed rather than gliding effortlessly from one to another. There are many grammatical and punctuation errors and reads more like a first or slightly edited second draft. The author makes note that her husband is a stagehand and her list of books are all about stagehands. This may be part of the problem - exerting too much of her life into her work, possibly without objectivity.
The characters are not well developed and never really change by the end of the story. In addition to being one-dimensional their actions are mostly implausible. For example, there is Nadine, a preachers daughter, always a "good girl" who nearly blows a gasket whenever anyone swears, yet quickly goes from hating David to lusting after him. For a devout Christian girl, still a virgin, living in the "big city" for the first time, she has no trouble lusting the first man she sees and then fantasizing rather luridly. Nadine changes in two chapters then reverts back the next and the next.. It all doesn't fit. Nadine is too unbelievable. and "King" David is childish and narcissistic. .
Then a young boy is thrown into the mix; David's son with the woman who painted him in the alley by the cafe. King David's mother and his ex refuse to let him spend time with his son. Why? Is David a bad father? A deadbeat? The problem given was David's lateness in sending the ex money for a car down payment, a Porsche no less. David is not a rich man but he doesn't cash his checks. Why? There are loose threads, strange coincidences to bring characters together and a rather boring read in general.
With that said, I think the author could write a great story with some editing and guidance. Involvement in a good critique group would also help this fledgling author. With work, her story could be a fairly good read. She does do an exceptional job writing the sex scenes. It shows her ability to tell a good tale. Now take the characters out of the bed and into the rest of the book with the same amount of energy, attention to detail and the desire to make every sentence count. Do this and these negative reviews will flip faster than King David fell from his wooden perch onto a cake.
Mom has fallen into a deep depression. Dad is unemployed and makes little effort to find work. Big brother hangs with a spiritual leader who sometimesMom has fallen into a deep depression. Dad is unemployed and makes little effort to find work. Big brother hangs with a spiritual leader who sometimes takes righteousness into his own hands. The BFF is fair-weather at best. How is a young teen girl to cope? Hailey, age 16, tries the best she can.
I don't really know what to say about this book. One big problem for me is the lack of a real ending. Nor was there a much point to the story - no theme that stood out (except poverty), no crisis to conquer, until near the end when the big brother, Cyrus, makes the mistake of going with Moses, the cultist, criminal spiritual advisor Cyrus seems to think knows all. When the kid they "correct" is found all beaten up Moses lets Cyrus take the fall - until Hailey takes down Moses.
The writing was good at times, even wonderful. I think it needs more editing and a better focus. Many sections seemed to ramble on and on without a reason. Filler would be an appropriate word for those sections. If the story was tightened and a conflict set up clearly early on, I think readers would be more receptive to the story. At many times I was lost to where I just put the book down. Had I not a review to do I doubt I would have finished the book. As it is, it took me much too long to finish. As a self-published book, it could be one of the better ones with a bit more effort.
NOTE: Member Giveaway
CORRECTION: This is not a self-published book. It is published by he University of West Alabama. My sincere apologies to the author....more