WEEEEE I'M A PONY!! YAY I CAN FLY AND STAB PEOPLE WITH MY HORN! LET'S MAKE FRIENDS. YAAAY, FRIENDS! WAIT, NOOOOO, DON'T DO THAT. THAT HURTS, FRIENDS.WEEEEE I'M A PONY!! YAY I CAN FLY AND STAB PEOPLE WITH MY HORN! LET'S MAKE FRIENDS. YAAAY, FRIENDS! WAIT, NOOOOO, DON'T DO THAT. THAT HURTS, FRIENDS. DON'T KILL ME!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M A PONY! WHO WANTS TO HURT A PONY?! NOOOOOOOOO!!
Interested? I thought so.
This short story is exactly that - short. But EVER so insightful. It is remarkable how something so short can be so insightful. It will literally take you like 2 seconds to read, but you will not be able to stop thinking about it.
Kids who hurt ponies. That about sums it up. And thanks to Stephen for making me aware of it. Thank you! Everyone MUST read it.
But I think that we've established that kids can be jerks. However, if you are going to kill a pony or a unicorn - at least, put the meat to good use...
Just kidding, kids!! Please don't kill your ponies and/or unicorns, if you are lucky enough to be in the presence of such awesomeness!
It has been a well known fact for quite some time that girls are mean. I never thought that they would go so far as to hurt a pony, but it seems that nothing is sacred to the little brats. Not in the pursuit of popularity, at least.
Now, we also know that a mean girl can even corrupt a PONY and turn then into murdering maniacs, just at the bat of an eyelash.
I have certainly known girls like this in my life. Even so-called friends are ready to throw you to killer ponies if it means being accepted by someone else. It is all too unfortunate. Maybe if little girls were forced to read this story, they would think twice about being cruel. Somehow, I doubt it though.
For a very long time, the great conundrum of the world has been this: Zombies? Or unicorns?
It seemed something had come along to finally resolve this issue: ZOMBIE UNICORNS!! But things are not as they seem. Dun, dun, dun.
By the way, this book is a free download from John Green, just click on the book page and hit 'download ebook'. Then par-tay!!!
I had a conversation, albeit somewhat imaginary, with Mia Featherstone, the protagonist of this John Green novella entitled Zombicorns.
Me: Zombie unicorns, you say? Mia: Well, no, actually it's NOT zombie unicorns. Me: Whhhhhhhhhat? No Zombie Unicorns??!! Noooooooooo! Goodbye, cruel world! Mia: No, no. This is even more awesome because it's zombie "corn". Get it? Me: Errrrrr? *tilts head* Mia: You know, corn? Like the food. It's yellow, with rows of kernels. Me: Aaaaand that's better than zombie unicorns how? Mia: Because the zombies care for and plant the corn. They're like undead uncoordinated zombie corn farmers. Me: Uh-huh. Mia: But it's good, because corn is awesome. Me: Zombies plant corn? WHY THE FRAK DO THEY PLANT CORN?! Mia: They've been infected by a virus through eating corn and they want to bring that corn to everyone because of said virus. Me: Ah. So it's not zombified unicorns! It's zombies eating corn?. Mia: Uh, kinda. It's just - they don't actually eat the corn once they are infected. They either eat people or force the people to eat corn. Me: They don't eat the corn, they just plant it? Mia: Yep. Me: Well, regardless. I really did enjoy your story - really entertaining. Oh, I loved your dog, Mr. President. Mia: Gee thanks. Me: As much as I liked it, I'm glad you kept your story short because I just don't know how long zombies planting corn would stay interesting. Mia: Understood. Me: Are you sure there aren't any unicorns? Mia: No unicorns. No rainbows. Sorry. Me: Frak! Oh, on a side note. It seems that you like to use the term "frak". Is John Green a fan of Battlestar Galactica? Mia: Who's John Green?! *eyes start to glaze over* Me: What do you mean? He's the guy that wrote yo... Oh, uh, never mind. Forget I said anything. Mia: What are talking about?! Who the frak is John Green? *roars and goes dead behind the eyes* Me: No one. No one. Uh, interview over!! *runs away screaming* I'm never eating corn, EVER AGAIN!...more