Kyra all but peed her pants at the sight of the gargantuan man barreling down upon her. And she would have peed them, if she'd had on an
Rating: (♥ ♥ ♥ ♥)
Kyra all but peed her pants at the sight of the gargantuan man barreling down upon her. And she would have peed them, if she'd had on any pants to pee in, she thought grimly. His gigantic muscles were flexing as he charged toward her like a raging bull in Pamplona.
Good god the crazy barbarian was going to kill her! Right here in the parking lot of The Smiling Faces and Peaceful Hearts Meditation Retreat. She idly considered the fact that this was not a very serene way to die.
Hot, erotic, idiotic & funny!
I just finished my first erotica novel. I'll admit I've been avoiding this genre. Don't know exactly what I was expecting. I've always been hesitant to read erotica. I guess I thought it would be nothing but gratuitous sex and no story. Interestingly enough, that wasn't the case. Well, the no story part at least, because the sex is definitely gratuitous.
If your looking for an intelligent, serious read, this isn't your book. Cooky, imaginative, tripped out, and ridiculous maybe; but there is absolutely nothing serious about this book. In fact, it's not meant to be taken seriously. Anyone expecting otherwise will be sorely disappointed. If you can't start this book with a good sense of humor, an ability to suspend disbelief, and a desire to immerse yourself in idiotic humor, then wait until your mood acclimates.
I can officially thank The Empress' New Clothes by Jaid Black for my indoctrination into erotica. It's a silly story, full of deliberately ridiculous humor and yes... lots and lots of gratuitous sex. It is erotica after all. I hadn't expected the crazy humor and found myself strangely compelled to keep reading. The whole story was like an x-rated Mel Brooks/Benny Hill sex parody. Ms. Black has taken common traits and themes found in the romance genre and life itself, exploited it, and pushed it to the extreme. So much so that you find yourself saying, "WTF!" nearly every other page and wondering how the author came up with it all.
In The Empress' New Clothes we find a world with numerous dimensions. The heroes Zor Q'an Tal, and his brother Dak hale from the seventh dimension where sexual hedonism is the norm. They consider lowly humans from the first dimension to be nothing more than primitives. Yet these grossly huge barbarians [who eat with crystal sporks] are not exactly more highly evolved. They are, however, arrogant enough to believe themselves so.
This book was so full of utterly ridiculous situations that it had me choking on laughter at it's absurdity. I really enjoyed the two female characters Kyra and Geris, and their oafish alien heroes. The fact that their gargantuan "Sacred Mates" considered themselves more highly evolved than their "primitive" humanoid females played into some entertaining plot twists. Because they thought their women's primitive minds incapable of comprehending their alien ways; like wedding customs, child birth, rituals, etc. They didn't prepare them for the many startling events to come from being a Trystonian warriors "Sacred Mate."
This book was full of absurd, funny, idiotic, campy humor. While this type of humor or genre may not be for some people, I'll admit that I'm hooked. Now I have to buy the next book to see what kind of absurdity is bound to happen next in the Trek Mi'Qan Galaxy. As my first erotica novel, I'm giving this one a 4 [Win!]. I recommend it to anyone in the mood for a crazy, ridiculous adventure. It was fun, different and definitely entertaining.
Although the writing for this book was good, I just couldn't give it a better rating. I'll probably keep following the story, but was highly annoyed wAlthough the writing for this book was good, I just couldn't give it a better rating. I'll probably keep following the story, but was highly annoyed with how glaringly similar this story is to Fifty Shades. It's so similar that the two stories are almost on top of one another despite mixing a few things up a bit; namely people, places and bits of the storyline. It's almost as if Mrs. Day has written her own personal Fifty Shades fanfic. Good writing, but highly UNORIGINAL. If you liked Fifty Shades, you might be a tad offended by the similarities.
Despite this book being unoriginal, what I will take away from this is a new interest in reading other books by Sylvia Day. Because she definitely does have a talent for writing....more
"Nothing. I wanted to hit him but hitting a masochist is pretty pointless. Wesley?" She
Rating: (♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥)
"Oh, my God," Wesley breathed. "What did you do?"
"Nothing. I wanted to hit him but hitting a masochist is pretty pointless. Wesley?" She finally looked him full in his face. For a moment his brown eyes turned silver and she saw Michael's face floating in front of her. "What if I'm a bad person, too?"
"You're not a bad person. If you were a bad person you wouldn't be sitting fully dressed in a bathtub with no water in it because you're terrified you might be a bad person. The devil doesn't worry about going to hell."
"Only because he's already there."
Oookay… what to say about this book? Definitely one for my shelf of ambivalence. Which I stupidly got rid of. Now I'm temped to bring it back. Not a story for the faint of heart. If your easily offended… explore no further. I gave it 5 stars for the writing, character development and plot alone. It is exceptionally good at being disturbing, offensive and controversial at times. If I judged it solely on the romance… it would fail, because I'm not even sure it is a romance. Not in this first book, at least. If, however, I judged it on how well it's written, how interesting the characters are, how seamless the plot/storyline flows together and how thought provoking it is, then it's definitely earned it's 5 stars. There is so much more going on in this story than dark and twisted sex and it truly is "thought provoking" (emphasis on the thought and the provoke). I never expected to encounter, in an erotica novel, such profoundly complicated characters written into a complex yet beautiful (love?) story.
The main character of the story, Nora sutherlin, is an erotica writer who teams up with a new editor to try and perfect her work. Her goal? She wants to feel like an actual writer with talent, an artist rather than your typical purveyor of cheap smut. Because her latest novel is rather personal. Her new editor, Zach Easton, is not happy in the least to be partnered with her and he automatically assumes from the start that Nora is a talentless hack. Zach states that if she can't produce something truly worthwhile in six weeks, he will not sign a contract with her. Other key characters in the story are Wesley, Nora's live-in intern and Soren, Nora's sadistic ex-lover.
I'm not really sure this story fits into the erotica genre alone. The amount of sex is equivalent to that of your average romance novel. Perhaps it is the "TYPE" of sex that has earned it a classification of erotica. But if I had to classify it myself, I'd have to make something up like, Erotic Horror Romance or maybe Contemporary Horror Romance. Because the violence that occurs can be a bit frightening, even if it is consensual. These two quotes by the main character, Nora Sutherlin, are very telling and help give a little perspective.
Nora: “I know people think erotica is just a romance novel with rougher sex. It's not. If it's a subgenre of anything, it's horror."
Zach: "Horror? Really?"
Nora: "Romance is sex plus love. Erotica is sex plus fear.”
Zach: "Hurt but do not harm? What's the difference?"
Nora: "Hurt is a bruise on the outside. Harm is a bruise on the inside. If you're a masochist, pain feels like love to you. Not being hurt is what hurts.”
Dark, disturbing, twisted and uncomfortable… yet for every uncomfortable moment, there are also light hearted, humorous and profoundly beautiful ones. Plus, it has one major saving grace that kept me from tossing it aside when things got a little too dark for me. The characters all have varying points of views. Some you can relate to, some you can't. It doesn't just throw BDSM at you and expect you to completely connect. I couldn't relate to Nora's point of view MOST of the time. Pain, torture and humiliation are a form of love? This is something I still have not been able to wrap my head around. And believe me... I tried. It also shows you that the initial assumptions we often make of people we don't know are usually hopelessly flawed.
Seeing as how there are parts I found a bit too controversial for my taste, I still don't know whether I love or hate this book. I've been vacillating between the two emotions for days now. I guess I love to hate it just as much as I hate to love it. Hence it's designation to the shelf of ambivalence. But I do recommend it if only for the beautiful writing alone. Only I do it with a strict warning! Prepare yourself for moral, mental and emotional disturbances if your not accustomed to the TRUE world of kink/BDSM. Believe it or not, The Siren makes Fifty Shades of Grey look completely vanilla. Don't read it expecting Prince charming, a fluffy romance and HEA's (At least not in the first book). If your not into erotica or totally offended by the idea of BDSM… avoid it. If your curious… then by all means, read it! You can expect some emotional self discovery by many of the characters and a surprisingly beautiful story despite the dark and uncomfortable parts. And with that, I'll leave you with a few more of my favorite quotes.
Zach: “Excuse me," Zach began, trying to regain control of the conversation, "but didn't I repeatedly insult you this morning?"
Nora: "Your kvetching was very fetching. I like men who are mean to me. I trust them more."
Nora: “S&M is as psychological as it is physical and sexual, Zach. Imagine being as deep inside a woman’s mind as you are inside her body.”
"You still love him, don't you?" Nora smiled sadly up at him. "Many waters." She ran a hand through her wet hair and let water drop from her fingertips to the floor. "Many waters cannot quench love," Wesley finished the quote. "River's cannot wash it away." "Nor will rivers overflow it," she corrected.