I was looking for something to read that would compare to X-Files in terms of government conspiracy regarding extraterrestrials. Well, I found it and...moreI was looking for something to read that would compare to X-Files in terms of government conspiracy regarding extraterrestrials. Well, I found it and it kicked tons of ass. It's difficult to tackle such a concept without getting hokey (not that I don't like the hokey stuff like Men In Black) and I was majorly impressed with the complete lack of hoke. It was crammed with suspense and action and introduced the hero of the series, a likable ass kicked named Michael Turcotte.
Only downside, no gratuitous sex or girl-on-girl action. Hopefully the next four books of the series will fix that.(less)
A moment, if I may, to discuss the author. Take Kevin Donihe and strip him. Not of clothing, but of labels. Mr. Donihe is Bizarro author. But what is...moreA moment, if I may, to discuss the author. Take Kevin Donihe and strip him. Not of clothing, but of labels. Mr. Donihe is Bizarro author. But what is he when stripped of that title? Not naked, unfortunately. But instead, one of the finest comedy writers out there today. Bizarro Fiction might not be for everyone, but I truly believe this author's particular brand of it is so damn funny and relatable, he brings the genre to a wider audience.
And now, the book. Poor Walter, AKA: Space Walrus. A mere scientific test subject with so much more to offer the world. He could be off saving planets and bedding princesses, but merely yearns to prove his affection to a certain Dr. Stephanie. I think most men can relate to the plight of Walter. For there are obstacles. Those damn chimps! And that creepy alcoholic male doctor and his obscene phone calls. Is Doctor Stephanie falling for him instead?
If what I said above hasn't sold you, just trust me. For a quick and easy read with nonstop laughs, Space Walrus is a worthy purchase.(less)
Michael Laimo is a master of horror. This is the only book of his that I have read, and I'm fully willing to label him as a master because this book i...moreMichael Laimo is a master of horror. This is the only book of his that I have read, and I'm fully willing to label him as a master because this book is 100% mastery of the genre. The author does not rely on gore and easy scares. Not that there's anything wrong with that, and not that you won't find some of these things in the book. Oh there's some gore, don't worry. But Laimo has mastered the genre by building a story that is genuinely scary as fuck and creeps into your brain and sends chills down your spine so deep in the marrow you might fear permanent emotional scars. I'm not joking when I say that on a couple of night while reading this book I stayed up extra late and fell asleep on the couch with the lights on because I wasn't exactly keen on turning the lights off and going to bed.
It takes a lot to scare me. And Laimo achieved that. And aside from the scares, we have a very well written and expertly crafted tale that was fun from page one to the end.
I will be seeking out as many Michael Laimo books as I possibly can.(less)
Okay where do I start? From the beginning I guess. Martha is a sweet old granny who loves God and her family, especially those grandkids. But when her...moreOkay where do I start? From the beginning I guess. Martha is a sweet old granny who loves God and her family, especially those grandkids. But when her grandson is responsible for his high school basketball team losing the big game, well.....shit gets ugly. When all that Martha loves is brutally stripped from her, she is rescued by an unlikely band of misfits who seem to have it in for the school administration as much as Martha does. From there it's a fun filled,, gore filled romp that reads quite quickly and is a minor commitment with satisfying payoff.
There is one scene in this book that is likely to make you regurgitate. Think "87 and Still Bangin'" starring Ron Jeremy. Actually don't think that. And if you have seen that, form a support group with me.(less)
4.5 stars, I guess because it wasn't quite life changing but was slightly more than a thrill ride. Maybe even a lot more than a thrill ride, because I...more4.5 stars, I guess because it wasn't quite life changing but was slightly more than a thrill ride. Maybe even a lot more than a thrill ride, because I have photos to prove that at page 109 my nose began bleeding. This could only have been from the rush of emotions and adrenaline pumping through my system as I devoured word after word. I was like Jason Statham in the movie Crank, except I'm not in shape and I was sitting down the whole time. I am bald, though.
So you more than likely know that this book is a parody of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. But do not expect a scene by scene xerox with funny shit added. It's a lot more than that. Some things are different and some things are totally added in, but may have some symbolic value...or maybe I'm looking to much into things. I dunno, I tend to do that. I listened to Morrissey and The Cure a lot as a lonely teenager so I guess I just learned to let my mind try and be all poetic about stuff. Ya know? Too much clove smoke and sad shit. Sure, to some this book is just a parody, but to me it's some grade-A social commentary. Ya know? Testicles are bad.
The author makes a couple of references to his underwear. I'd recommend this book to anyone who is literate enough to read it and cultured enough to get that parody aspect. So if you haven't seen NOTLD, do not read this book. Go out and get a copy of the dvd, you nut. Then read the book. Unless you have no sense of humor. Then you should go listen to Morrissey and The Cure until you become sterile. (less)
This story was not at all what I expected from the author. Knowing what the man does for the Bizarro genre, to strengthen, preserve and expand it, I w...moreThis story was not at all what I expected from the author. Knowing what the man does for the Bizarro genre, to strengthen, preserve and expand it, I wasn't expecting something this "straight". There were no zipper-mouthed toads with piggy banks for cocks. There were also no buxom lizard women with bowling pins hanging from their assholes like prolapsed rectums, more commonly known to lowlifes like myself as "the pink sock".
The story was indeed quite touching. It reminded me of a few things I like a lot, such as Coast to Coast AM and the older Howard Stern shows when the shock jock was still trying to convince the world he was the king of all media and was constantly fighting with management. There was also a reference to some AS SEEN ON TV infomercial product that was used to make "bloomin' onions" and julienne fries. I liked that a lot. Nostalgia grew heavily on me and at times I felt it touching me inappropriately in the "third base" area. But I didn't need to rely on that nostalgia to carry me through the story, as it was well written and a pleasure to fuck with my eyeballs. The main character, a classic portrayal of the tortured-narcissistic-goldhearted-talent in his last moment of glory, faces his past and his future. Does he make peace with one and go forth prosperous into the other? Find out for yourself.(less)
I wanted to rate this higher. It was a super fun story, as are all the others I've read by the author. Great absurdity, gore, weird sex and everything...moreI wanted to rate this higher. It was a super fun story, as are all the others I've read by the author. Great absurdity, gore, weird sex and everything else I love in a book. But so much of my rating process is based on how I feel at the end, and I just didn't feel fulfilled like I did when I finished Menstruating Mall.
Do not let my low rating deter you from reading this one. You might just love it.(less)
If you're a fan of the Supernatural TV series, this book is definitely something you want to check out. If you're a fan at all of horror based on bibl...moreIf you're a fan of the Supernatural TV series, this book is definitely something you want to check out. If you're a fan at all of horror based on biblical demons, same deal. This is a must read.
Lilith is walking the earth and she is hellbent on getting what she wants. She will stoop to the lowest and most vile lows of sexual depravity if that is what it takes. The author gives us liberal doses gore and erotica, and also drops some well researched art history the reader.
Castagna's prose flows with ease and the dialogue never feels "stock" or redundant. His work is structured in such a way that you know he has read a ton of books and is educated on the concept of story building, and every word smells of his passion for the craft.
I granted this book 5 stars because not only was I in no way disappointed, but I was dying for more. If this book became a series I would devour every volume. If demons and gore aren't your thing, this might not be for you. But if you're like me and you absolutely love that combination more than anything else, stop what you're doing and read this book. It's a short commitment with major payoff.(less)