A close girlfriend of mine (one whom I've chided for being a serial monogamist) gifted me with this book.
"Here you go Regine. I bought this when DeviA close girlfriend of mine (one whom I've chided for being a serial monogamist) gifted me with this book.
"Here you go Regine. I bought this when Devin and I broke up and I wanted to go through a slutty phase. Obviously, I didn't do it, so here, I think you'll like it."
Although I was slightly insulted, I took the book and found myself devouring the pages. Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity is Kerry Cohen's story about her quest to find "real intimacy". She goes into detail about her dysfunctional family and how the need to be loved stems from her mother's neediness and her father's promiscuity. She goes into detail about discovering the power of her sexuality when she was only eleven, and then using that power to initate encounters with boy, after boy, after boy. It's not the sex she becomes addicted to, it's the feeling of being wanted.
I found this memoir engaging, fast-paced, and not too surprisingly, relateable. After all, it wasn't too long ago when my friends and I were doing the same things Kerry was doing-- buying fake ID's, getting dolled up, *ahem* meeting up with boys-- and there's a part of me that wants to relive those days. However, she also writes about the nasties--the HPV and the STI scares, pregancy scares,and the dysfunction that goes on in desperate relationships.
All praises aside, there were a lot of things that I disagreed with hated about Cohen's memoir.
If there's anything that Cohen is looking for aside from "real intimacy", it's validation. She justifies all of her actions--the sex, the lying, the cheating-- by blaming everything on her broken home life. However, in several points in the book, she openly calls other women "sluts". SLUTS. Ugh. I hate that term. It's as if she's saying, "okay ladies, it's okay to be promiscous if your mom hates you, and your daddy doesn't love you, but if you're a perfectly balanced individual with a grocery list of sexual encounters, then that my dear, makes you a SLUT". In her own terms, a "loose girl" is:
...a girl who has been badly emotionally hurt and attempts to ease that hurt through male attention and sexual behavior...she is not wantonly or gratuitously trying to get sexual attention. She doesn't simply "want it"
And let me tell you, ladies and gents, there is nothing wrong with simply just "wanting it" (or not wanting it for that matter).
Near the end of her narrative, Cohen writes :
How do you love yourself after a lifetime of self-degredation and effacement
Abd after 200+ pages, she has yet to answer that. The reader gets a sense of her insecurities and her vulnerabilities, but in the end, there's no sense of growth, no sense of healing. I feel as though at the end of the memoir, instead of learning from her experiences, she finds instead a long-term fix by marrying the first man who's willing to do so. As if marriage could fill the void that she's been trying to fill her entire life. ...more